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Can resilience be learned? It is indispensable at times when the familiar world is collapsing and questions begin to pour in: “What to do? How to keep breathing and living? A situation of uncertainty can crush those who are not resilient enough. We offer several anti-crisis measures.
1. Be flexible
We often find it difficult to go with the flow. Stubbornness, ego, principles, expectations and habits make you resist change. But when the house in which they planned to meet old age is destroyed by fire, or the company, which was given a lot of strength, ceased to need you, and love found happiness with someone else, the question arises of what to do next.
Meeting adversity is an unbearably hard blow, but life requires a “change of course”
In such circumstances, there is nothing left but to accept the situation and admit that it has changed. You don’t control the world, you only control yourself. The only way out is to change the attitude, switch thoughts, come up with new dreams, be flexible.
2. Learn to be more comfortable with discomfort
Being in a shaky situation, the majority feels uncomfortable, anxious, insecure. This is normal, a good reason to learn to accept yourself and circumstances. Silence the inner voices of fear, guilt, or resentment, resist the urge to escalate drama and create panic. Take a good look at the situation and acknowledge that sometimes you can feel uncomfortable. You will become more resilient if you use this time to practice accepting yourself despite the discomfort you feel.
3. Step back for a wider perspective
Zoom in, revisit the past, draw possible pictures of the future. From this perspective, imagine how the plans and intentions that you have might unfold in the future. Fantasize until you find an option that has perspective. Try to implement it. If this doesn’t suit your goals, don’t hesitate to try another approach. By changing the point of view, you can see the situation in a new way and try new solutions.
4. Coordinate with others
Think about the options that come to mind, and attract helpers from the outside. Before you move forward with your plan, be honest with your friends or colleagues about your insecurities. Discuss the emerging solutions together in a brainstorming session. Stay open to suggestions, but defend the ideas you believe in. Feel free to move forward knowing you’ve considered multiple options.
5. When Confused, Imitate Someone You Respect
Sometimes difficulties seem insurmountable, we have no idea how to proceed, we do not feel confident, we lose our footing. Think of a person you respect and imagine what they could do in this situation.
For example, how would your friend Natasha, the kindest and most level-headed person you know, behave? Is she able to listen carefully, speak slowly and maintain eye contact? Try to do the same. A change in behavior will tell you how to maintain composure in a difficult moment.
6. Show compassion for yourself
It is important to stop criticizing yourself and try to be kinder to yourself. There is nothing reprehensible in showing disappointment at times or taking a break from duties. Long walks and runs in the fresh air allow you to think about important issues and release emotions.
Healthy eating will remind you that it does not interfere with taking care of yourself
When you calm down, explore several options for getting out of a difficult situation, admit the possibility of implementing any of them. And then a more or less definite solution will dawn ahead.
7. Celebrate your successes
After the work that has been done to get out of the crisis, as soon as you notice the first successes (for example, the planned plan will work), celebrate them with those who helped achieve positive results. Give yourself credit, allow yourself to feel joy. Promise yourself to move in the same direction. Feel gratitude for who you were and for who you are becoming. Emotional resilience is about more than recovering from trials, it’s about renewing and growing in spite of them.
8. Learn to enjoy change
Heraclitus said: «The only thing that is constant is change.» Imagine how tedious and boring it would be to do the same thing all your life. Change gives rise to something else, perhaps very exciting and meaningful. We have other aspirations that push us to develop and gain new experience. Here the ability to respond to life’s challenges is tested. And the more we train this muscle, the more we embrace the diversity of life with enthusiasm.