Some people live on what you might call “an emotional roller coaster”. Going from laughter to tears, they present ups and downs that are too intense in their mood. This can sometimes be a sign of a psychiatric pathology. Avoiding stress, adopting a balanced lifestyle will all be ways to manage your emotions better. We can also gain stability through therapy based on speech: psychotherapy or psychoanalysis, for example. Non-violent communication is, moreover, a path towards the identification of one’s needs and therefore stability. For some, the use of medication will sometimes be necessary.

You act impulsively and you seem unable to control your anger. This even causes difficulties in maintaining stable relationships, whether they are romantic or friendly. You react in an extreme way to situations, real or supposed. These are all frequent signs of emotional instability. This can, sometimes, reveal a personality disorder, of the borderline type, or bipolar disorder, in particular. But professor of psychiatry Carol W. Berman says: “People with a personality disorder are not fully aware of their behavior and its effects on other people”.

Sometimes emotional instability can be explained by having experienced trauma in your lifetime. It will then take solid support, powerful links, even the establishment of therapy to get better. From a neuroanatomical point of view, this emotional instability is linked to dysfunctions of the prefrontal cortex and the limbic brain. In terms of neurotransmitters, it is the effects of the dopamine system that are at play.

Sometimes emotional instability results in a disproportionate reaction to certain words, or actions of others. We must avoid the sources of stress, however, affirm many caregivers: daily stress seems to be, in fact, the first of the causes of emotional instability. It is therefore essential to promote a good balance of life.

However, the emotional balance is all the more variable from one person to another because, as the studies of 2004 carried out by the scientist Hamann demonstrated via images of the cerebral functioning, a number of individual differences exist among the topics. And these differences, which modulate the neural responses during the emotional process, can be of the order of the personality, of the disposition in terms of affects, but also be linked to the biological sex or even to the genotype of each one. 

We all have good and bad days, sometimes even with a variation in our sense of well-being over the course of the same day – and this is completely “normal”, if that is the term used to mean . Be careful though, because these variations can also be, sometimes, the sign of a hidden depression, which is more frequent in men: its classic signs are then emotional instability, associated with a bad mood, fatigue. , apathy, even negative or fatalistic thoughts.

“Psychology fascinates me because it reveals the hidden aspects of a person”, confided in 2017 the psychologist Jacques Arènes to the newspaper La Croix. And thus, the clinical relation can be a place of truth, which will allow the patient to find the balance which he lacked. Humor, in particular, also turns out to be an essential driving force. It makes life easier. “It helps defuse a conflict”, insists Jacques Arènes.

Sudden sadness, joy or disinterest may, in this sense, be the subject of work on oneself, in depth, with a psychologist, or even lead to psychotherapy, or the regular consultation of a psychiatrist. The latter, as a doctor, may sometimes decide on the need to institute drug treatment, such as a mood regulator. In some patients suffering from a psychiatric pathology, particularly bipolar disorder, molecules exist whose effects are quite convincing.

Finally, speaking liberates. Talking to a professional can be lifesaving, but even sometimes, simply, finding listening with a friend. Speaking and exchanging with someone who understands us is often the first therapy. Psychoanalysis is another of the ways in which speech becomes healing: revealing our unconscious, it can in particular relieve old traumas which can be at the origin of a malaise.

The coach in “self-love”, Nathalie Valentin, believes on her blog that there are several ways to be stronger emotionally, that is to say not to let yourself be influenced too much by your emotions. And so, for “Manage our life as we see fit, have the mind that allows you to gain the upper hand”. Both in difficult times and in softer, more harmonious moments. Among these avenues: non-violent communication, known as CNV.

For its creator, Marshall Rosenberg, “Non-violent communication is the combination of a language, a way of thinking, a know-how in communication and means of influence”. It is built on four bases, designated as OSBD: observation, feeling, need, demand.

Principle of this approach? The observation should not lead to a value judgment or to generalize. You will express your feelings and share your emotions. And behind each of these emotions, hides a need, which is satisfied or not, and therefore at the origin of a positive or negative feeling: identifying your needs is then part of a restorative operation. Finally, it will then be necessary, last step of the NVC, to express a request, and not to wait for others to guess its needs.

Being in harmony with your needs is a key to managing emotions. We can all have times when we are more concerned and more susceptible, other times when, on the contrary, our motivation is increased tenfold. Physical activity such as walking, cycling, swimming can help balance us out. What is necessary, above all, is to understand your needs and to listen to them.