Emotional dependence is characterized by a lack of self-confidence or an obvious erasure in the face of the romantic partner. Where does emotional dependence come from? Can we fight against its harmful effects? Zoom in on a plague that is causing a lot of ink to flow.

Affective dependence is the fact of no longer living for oneself but for the other. By completely withdrawing from his partner, the emotional addict gradually sinks into passivity. People who suffer from this type of addiction often have little confidence in them and continually seek the approval of their companion in all their endeavors. They feel a panicked fear at the idea of ​​being abandoned and experience the romantic relationship as an everyday struggle.

Most emotional addicts find the root of their problem in childhood. These are generally children who have received little attention and affection and / or who have been made responsible too early (“leave mom alone, you can see she is tired”, “don’t make noise, your brother is sleeping ”, etc.). These people have therefore become accustomed to putting others before themselves and do not dare to place themselves at the center of their own attention.

They think that they will only be loved if they are discreet and live mainly through the eyes of others. Finally, emotional addicts often express a real anxiety about disagreement, they have difficulty refusing to render a service and avoid conflict as much as possible. However, their behavior is often at the root of this since, against their will, they are in constant demand for affection and recognition. In the end, emotional addicts ignore what they need and fail to express their desires or anxieties.

How to tell the difference between love passion and emotional dependence? It is not always easy to understand where the limits lie. In a relationship, the emotional addict is on permanent standby, he is never satisfied with what his partner gives him, whatever the latter’s efforts. The addict expects to receive as much as he gives, but this need is never satisfied. He may be extremely jealous or demand special attention from his partner at any time.

It is indeed difficult to take a back seat when one suffers from emotional dependence because each absence of the loved one is experienced as extreme suffering. The mere fact of imagining that his partner can have fun and take pleasure without him seems insurmountable. In this kind of case, the emotional addict can be disagreeable or even mean, which can confuse his partner or make him flee.

Fortunately, it is quite possible to get out of emotional dependence. It should be noted, however, that most of those affected are unaware of their condition. It is often during a consultation with a psychologist that they understand their emotional handicap.

Emotional addicts generally complain about the poor quality of their social relationships, they have difficulty making friends, get along badly with their co-workers, and have difficulty managing their romantic relationships. These profiles can indeed annoy since they seem to devote themselves with ulterior motives: they expect something in return. They think (more or less unconsciously) that they can only be appreciated if they meet the expectations of others and sometimes do “too much”.

Emotional dependence can be overcome through personal development work and possibly a psychotherapy. The main problem of the emotional addict is his lack of self-confidence: he mistakenly thinks that he cannot be loved for who he is and that he must live through the other. The addict must succeed in integrating the fact that it is first necessary to love each other in order to succeed in living a healthy romantic relationship. The fear of being alone should be overcome with a few simple exercises like going to the cinema alone, going to a restaurant, etc. It is by going beyond self-imposed limits that those who suffer from emotional dependence will be able to understand that they can do a number of things without the approval of others. Sport, artistic expression or meditation are all activities that can help him get to know himself better and therefore gain confidence.

Emotional dependence is not irreversible, but to overcome it, it is absolutely necessary to recognize and accept it. An emotional addict who refuses to qualify as such will not be able to live serenely, despite the goodwill of those close to him.