Emmanuelle Beart: “I don’t always manage to be strong”

The garden is flooded with sun, the wind sways the palm leaves. 11 am, and the aroma of coffee hovers around the house, piano chords come from somewhere. It looks like a commercial for an expensive travel agency. Only we are not in the tropics, but in the center of Paris, at Emmanuelle Bear’s house. The house, as you know, can say a lot about each of us. This one is completely atypical for the center of the metropolis. Its interior – comfort, no stellar boasting – inspires peace, creates a feeling of a quiet family, gives a feeling of security, as in childhood. Bear has just moved in, but it looks like they’ve been living here for a long time. The hostess moves in her space easily, gracefully, like some kind of animal. A childish face without makeup, hastily combed hair … She is a paradox. She fights for the fate of illegal immigrants in France and becomes the face of Dior, promotes UNICEF humanitarian actions and appears naked on the cover of Elle, instead of an elastic band, grabbing a tuft of hair with her own thong. Her name is Emmanuelle, and she admits that she really feels in herself a lot from the movie heroine, who has become a sign of liberated female sexuality, and indeed female freedom to express herself. Emmanuelle was natural and open with us.

Briefly and clearly

What is your main goal in life?

Happiness.

What are you most proud of?

With my children.

What is your biggest disappointment?

That Santa Claus does not exist.

What talent, besides your own, would you like to have?

Insight.

What would you like to change about yourself?

I’m just trying to improve.

Is there someone you would like to be?

No.

Do you have phobias?

Claustrophobia.

What traits in a person attract you most?

Mind and kindness. Better is a combination of both!

Which are repulsive?

Cowardice. Mine is too.

A thought that particularly touches you?

“Autumn and winter will still come, but this is not a reason to cancel spring.” That’s what my father says.

Are you afraid of getting old?

It’s not just fear. It is a mixture of desire and fear.

Are you afraid of death?

Not yet.

In what way would you like to reincarnate?

In the same. I strive to perfect everything. Come back, repeat everything, but – better!

Do you feel strong?

Strength is independence from how others look at you, the courage to be yourself. I don’t always succeed…

Psychologies: You have moved again. It seems to happen to you often…

Emmanuel Bear: Well no. Only every two years. (Laughs.)

Is it difficult for you to find your place?

E. B.: I’m like animals: they circle, looking for the best place, a comfortable position to lay down for themselves. So I go around in circles to understand if it’s warm for me, if it’s comfortable, if this place is right for me. And since there are no perfect places, I’m moving. Besides, I have never been and probably never will be a Parisian. I keep looking for such a quiet corner where I can calmly have a coffee with two or three people who are pleasant to me.

Fame does not allow you to calmly drink coffee in some cafe?

E. B.: It’s not about that. I want to live among people I know, so that they understand that at 8 in the morning and, as usual, without enough sleep, I cannot be what they see me in magazines. Strangers always think: “Well, it turns out that in life she is both shorter, and fatter, and not so young …” I feel calmer if people do not pay attention either to how I am dressed or to myself.

Do you feel that you have to appear in public in cosmetics, thoughtfully dressed?

E. B.: I can’t do makeup at all. And if I decided on this, I would have the feeling that I am a Christmas tree. But sunglasses are another matter. Although sometimes, in bad weather, I feel that I look rather ridiculous in them.

But dark glasses are also put on in order to attract attention …

E. B.: No, no, they protect me. They recognize me no less, but at the same time people do not see my gaze, and this is a big difference. It’s not easy to constantly feel like you’re being studied. Without glasses, I feel naked. Although I will not argue that fame brings only inconvenience. People say beautiful words to you… very similar to showing goodwill. And they have no idea how it helps me.

Do you think others have the right idea about you?

E. B.: It’s so strange to think that someone without your knowledge makes some kind of idea about you … Although no, in fact – from mine: what people see in my films, in the photo – all this is in me, this is part of me. Such a mixture of extreme timidity and absolute provocation – to defend themselves. I’ve been like this since childhood. At school, she could scold teachers, get up in the middle of the lesson and just leave the classroom.

Maybe such duality is because you grew up in two opposite worlds? Guy Bear, your father, is a legendary singer, poet, composer; mother is a former model, a hippie, a bohemian…

E. B.: You are right, they were two different worlds. I have very strong feelings for both my father and mother, but I never wanted to be like either of them. My mother, besides me, has four more children – my brothers. Hard times came at the end of each month. At first, they turned off the light for non-payment, then the telephone, there was not enough money either for a movie or for a school cafeteria … We lived in the countryside, where it was believed that it was better to undereat, but to look decent, and my mother, half-Greek, half-Italian, believed that it was better to be full than somehow look there. She did not understand that peers laughed at us. You know how it hurts in childhood. I passionately dreamed of having other, normal parents, living in a high-rise building, wearing such tight fashionable jeans … I know the feeling of shame, the desire to hide. My stepfather wore a long beard, jeans with colorful patches and pink shirts – I remember I used to say that he was my father’s gardener.

Did you see your father then?

E. B.: Only on vacation: he lived in Paris, and my mother and I lived in the south. But I constantly felt his presence. He treated me like an adult, and that flattered me. For my 10th birthday, he sent me roses. I was very proud. At the age of 14, I went to him by train alone. I knew that I was finally leaving the “mother camp” because I needed a father. In his house, I met such people … For example, Louis Aragon, whose poems we learned at school. I thought that they had all died a long time ago, and then all of a sudden these people were just sitting in the garden … But my father’s life was not organized so rationally as to include such a crazy girl as I was then. You know, nighttime absences, runaways… As a result, dad found a boarding house for me.

It’s probably not easy to leave your mother for the sake of your father, and end up in a boarding school …

E. B.: The father simply had no choice. But even in the boarding house I lived as before: I was a ringleader, spitting on all prohibitions. And got me expelled. Then my father sent me to Quebec to live with the same family. It was the last attempt to reason with me, and it worked. I lived in Canada for four years… and I was happy. I then needed to be free. It was there that I decided to become an actress – I saw Romy Schneider in the movie Mado. Then I starred for Vogue, then Robert Altman, a great director, found me … True, he never made the film in which I was supposed to play, but … There were many signs that directed me to the acting path.

Have you ever felt like you miss your parents?

E. B.: This does not happen at the age of 17, when you decide to leave parental authority. I just missed my grandma!

Did your grandmother hold such an important place in your life?

E. B.: I have been the best with her ever since I was a child. You could say I fell in love with her when I was three years old. I remember she bought me a balloon, and it flew away. I started yelling for her to go and catch him, and she said that she would go where he had flown, but later. The next morning, when I woke up, the balloon was tied to my bed. I thought: this is an amazing person who can go to heaven for balloons. She also had difficult times in her life – financially. When I was 12, I promised her that I would always be there and make sure that she would live well. And I kept my word! Now my grandmother is 102 years old, she lives with me. An amazing woman. I don’t know how to talk about her.

Did she teach you femininity, charm?

E. B.: (Laughs) She says that I am masculine and completely forget to behave like a woman. She herself is a woman to the tips of her nails. He still rubs his elbows with a special cream to smooth the skin. All last summer I was busy with repairs here: paint, tiles, floors. And she shouted to me from above: “What are you doing, you are ruining your potential!” And I thought: “Yes, I don’t give a damn about this potential, what I am, this is what I am, so what if someone doesn’t like it!” But in general, all these ladies’ things really help to recover. You will do a manicure, pedicure, facial cleansing – and you can go back to battle.