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We are used to the fact that narcissism is a negative trait. Psychologist Sherry Campbell believes that healthy narcissism contributes to personal growth, and talks about its eight hallmarks.
We need approval, we want to feel loved, valued, unique, important, strong, and successful.
Many do their best to avoid criticism, despite the fact that constructive feedback and moderate dissatisfaction with ourselves spur us to take action. This is how we protect ourselves from failures and painful disappointments and maintain our mental health. «Healthy narcissism» helps to preserve personality. Here are the distinguishing features of the person to whom it is peculiar.
1. Tendency to introspection
Such people are calm and confident. They are aware of their strengths and weaknesses, realize that they are imperfect, and do not strive for perfection. Constantly learning and growing, but not striving to be the best.
2. Willingness to cooperate
Those who are confident achieve their goals and do not try to get rid of competitors. People with healthy egos are comfortable accepting views that are different from their own. They don’t compete and don’t compare themselves to others. This approach allows you to build harmonious relationships with others.
3. Diligence
They know that success and recognition can only be achieved through hard work. They calmly accept failures, because they are sure that mistakes and disappointments are not related to their abilities. Failure motivates them to work or train even harder. They attend courses to learn new things, find mentors who give them the right direction, and try to get feedback to understand what can be improved in their work.
4. Flexibility
Confident people understand that business changes happen every day and are ready to adapt and change their strategy. This approach helps them negotiate, solve problems, and close deals.
Thanks to their flexibility, they keep abreast of changes in the business and know what the people they work with need. The more flexible a person is, the better his intuition is developed, which contributes to success.
5. Straightness
Despite their flexibility, in some situations people with healthy narcissism are inflexible and straightforward. They don’t try to please anyone, they don’t give up, they don’t let themselves be taken advantage of, they say «no» if necessary.
They are not ready to tolerate tyranny, arrogance and insincerity, they do not make concessions in matters of ethics, and those who want to cooperate with them must share their values.
6. Respect for others
People with healthy egos see the world and business in more than just black and white. They listen to different points of view, even if they differ from their position. They know how to insist on their own, but respect opponents and seek a compromise.
7. Ability to work in a team
Team players value team accomplishments as much as their own success and tend to give more than they take.
8. Having emotional intelligence
Such people know what can spoil their mood, and they know how to regulate their emotional state. They think before answering, and when irritated, they listen more than they speak. Mindfulness helps them to find mutual understanding with opponents.
Everything is good in moderation. Healthy moderate narcissism is not evil, but good. Perhaps everyone should become a little narcissistic.
About the author: Sherry Campbell is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and author of Loving Yourself (AuthorHouse 2012).