Egotism is defined by a personality trait that is found in people who tend to talk a lot about themselves, to analyze themselves. Close to narcissism, egotism makes it possible to improve a person’s image of himself, by flattering himself and by exaggerating his skills, abilities and other personal characteristics.

The term “egotism” comes from a translation dating from the early years of the 19th century, of the English word “egotism”. Translated first of all by the term “egoism” which we know, egotism does not have the same meaning. Indeed, theselfishness is a French word which means excessive self-love; the’egotism signifies the mania for talking about oneself. Although the Latin root of the word, “ego” is the same, the egoist, who pays excessive attention to his own interests, is very different from the egoist, who loves himself with excessive love.

It is a question of self-worship, of an exaggerated sense of one’s personality, with in particular a habit of constantly talking about oneself.

The egoist feels an ever-sated desire to show and demonstrate to others his importance, which he does with immense pleasure. Often he attributes great importance without reason to mundane or benign skills.

As we have seen, the egoist is a person who stands on a pedestal and enjoys admiring himself. Thus, he becomes a person who cuts himself off from others and no longer pays attention to what is going on around him.

The needs of others take precedence over his own, and for good reason, he considers them to be a much higher priority. The egoist thus has an obvious lack of empathy for others, and leads him to consider them only as a means to achieve his goals. Objectives of development of the ego, to succeed in shining all the more by his charisma and his personality. The egoist develops extremely important, if not excessive, self-confidence and self-esteem. This makes this person presumptuous, locked in his certainties, and unable to open up to others and their potential talents or successes.

On the other hand, an egotist has a perfectionist view of things: he makes it clear that he knows better than anyone how others should behave. This gives him a sense of control that he seeks, otherwise he will be on the defensive when things are not done as directed.

Capable of disturbing the peace of others to get what they want, egotics are people who do not accept that they are not listened to.

Seen from the outside, an egotist seems to have a lot of self-confidence. However, it is not. In the grip of a strong interior insecurity, he tries above all to hide it, believing thus to avoid that one does not reject his personality.

By maintaining an image of themselves that they perceive as perfect in their eyes (and they mean it, in the eyes of others), they attempt to be more up to the task and effective than they actually are. In short, their mantra is to never let it look like they are losing control, either over the situation and / or their image. But all this is of course only an illusion, since the ego is like everyone else: vulnerable and imperfect.

When you deal with an ego on a daily basis, some of his peculiarities can quickly get on the nerves, and only glimpse a break with him. However, there are several levers of action that allow him to get out of his confinement and gradually interest him in others and their own desires.

First of all, it is useful to flatter the egoist, reassuring him of his qualities (although he proclaims them all the time). It seems paradoxical, but we must remember that the egoist, deep down, doesn’t love himself that much and needs to be reassured, to be given confidence. When he understands that he is in a “friendly” zone, he will stop turning everything around him alone.

Then, it is appropriate to be compassionate with the egotist. While he is in crisis with his ego, making him understand that he is understood, with gentleness and empathy, by putting himself in his shoes, will instantly relieve him.

By showing kindness and tolerance, by being excessively patient, we prove to the egoist that we believe in his abilities, that he has nothing to prove. This soothes his discomfort. We can also listen to him, but without letting him speak alone, by forcing him to exchange, otherwise leave the conversation (or even the room or the apartment). By forcing him to be in the exchange, and not to bring everything back to him, he will gradually realize that there are beautiful things to know and to know outside of himself.