The word “egocentrism” comes from the contraction of the words “ego” and “center”. To be egocentric therefore means “to center everything on oneself”. This behavior can become embarrassing to others when it is overdone and systematic. Knowing how to identify pathological egocentric people and knowing the cause helps to react better when you are in front of them.

The egocentric is a person who brings everything together. Everything she says, what she does, what she thinks, what she does is more valuable than what others do. Sometimes all of us can be self-absorbed. But it becomes problematic when this egocentricity is exaggerated and systematic because it annoys the people who undergo it. The risk for the egocentric is to scare those around him, tired of the important place that his person occupies in their relationships.

And for good reason, his way of behaving can quickly become unbearable:

• The egocentric always monopolizes the conversation and does not listen to what others have to say because he is too focused on himself.
• The egocentric often begins his sentences with “Me, I”, “I…”, “My…”, “My…”, etc.
• The egocentric is not interested in others except to know what they think of him.
• The egocentric is jealous of the success of others.
• The egocentric is always in demand for compliments.
• The egocentric thinks he is superior to others.
• The egocentric cannot cope with failure, he is a big competitor. When he fails, he blames others for it.
• The egocentric does not surround himself with egocentric people because he wants to be the only one to shine.

All of these characteristics are also found in narcissistic and megalomaniac personalities.

These two terms are often confused. Certainly, the egocentric and the egoist have some points in common but they are different on one point. Indeed, if the egocentric and the egoist are both very centered on their person and their interests, a personality trait, and not the least, distinguishes them: unlike the egocentric, the egoist does not have need to feel the gaze and attention of others on him to exist. He absolutely doesn’t care what other people think of him.

There are different degrees of egocentrism that are more or less intrusive on a daily basis. We are not born egocentric, we become it. Several hypotheses have been put forward by specialists to explain egocentrism:

• Lack of affection and / or recognition during childhood. As their egos were not nurtured when they were small, self-centered people always seek the approval and attention of others. They will not hesitate to adopt exuberant attitudes or to seduce.
• A lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. For fear of being abandoned because they underestimate themselves, egocentric people like to believe that they are worth more than others by constantly putting themselves forward.
• Psychological trauma which occurred in childhood and which blocked the evolution of the person. All children have an element of egocentricity in the sense that they like to receive the full attention of adults because they feel that they are important to them. But as they grow up, people tend to be more altruism. Unfortunately, this normal development can be hampered by trauma which will freeze the psyche of the person who has suffered it.

In small doses, egocentrism is bearable for others. Unfortunately, when a person displays pathological (that is, exaggerated and systematic) egocentrism, their relationships can suffer. To rub shoulders with an individual who thinks he is the center of the world, it annoys in the long run. The first instinct is to run away from it. And the risk for egotists is to no longer arouse the interest of others and to be sidelined. What they fear most rightly …

If you really care about someone who happens to be particularly attached to their little person, don’t judge or run away from them. But rather :

• Try to understand where his behavior is coming from. Knowing the origins of his self-centeredness will allow you to help him change.
• Reassure her that she doesn’t have to overdo it to be interested in her, emphasizing her main qualities.
• Make him aware of the negative consequences of his behavior on his friendly, professional, romantic or even family relationships.
• Show her how her interest in others is beneficial to her (they will be interested in her in return). You reap what you sow !