“Why I decided to donate an egg cell”
“I am 33 years old and have two children. My daughters are magic. I believe that no other word can better qualify them. Having children was obvious to me. For a long time.
When I met my current partner seven years ago now, I knew he would be the father of my children. And 3 and a half years later, I got pregnant. Without difficulty. The gynecologist would then tell me that I am one of those women who just thinking about it very hard gets pregnant …
We still believe, seeing these little smiling babies, that everything is simple. Well no, not always. My first born daughter, my husband declared a serious illness. Not a little thing that can be cured with treatment, no, a disease that just the name makes you run away. You combine cancer + brain and you get my daughter’s daddy’s disease. The questions are jostling in the head and you realize that no, everything is not so simple. Operation, chemo, radiotherapy. They say he’s cured. My daughter is two and a half years old. I got pregnant again, unexpectedly. I am seven and a half months pregnant when we learn that a very violent recurrence is going on in my husband’s brain. Awake surgery operation. I am eight months pregnant and really not sure if I will have a dad who is expecting this baby doll when it comes out. He will finally be there, bandaged over his head, to see her born.
Life is not always as easy as you think. We think we can have a baby and then we learn that we are sterile. Or when a childhood illness prevents us from procreating. Or that past cancer has made us less prolific. Or many other reasons. And there, it is a life which crumbles because our dearest dream will not take shape. The lives that crumble, I know. So, after having my two daughters, I told myself that all these moms who couldn’t have children, it was terrible. So I wanted on my small scale to offer this possibility to one of them, to several of them. My husband obviously cannot donate sperm, but I decided to donate an egg. I had the first interview last week with a midwife, who explained to me the course of the procedure, its operation, its consequences, its modus operandi, all that, all that all that. “
In agreement with the dad (it is necessary when you are in a relationship and with children), I will donate oocytes very soon. Yes, it’s long, yes, it’s restrictive, yes, there are bites (but I’m not even afraid!) Yes, it’s far (in my case, 1h30 drive), yes, it can leave woozy, but that’s nothing compared to the fatality that tells us that we will not be able to have children. In past years, the demand for oocyte donation was around 20%. The wait can sometimes take up to several years …
I was talking about it a few days ago with a friend who said to herself that she could not bear the idea of having descendants that she did not know. Even after thinking about it, I don’t have a problem. The mother is the one who carries, the one who raises for me. From this point of view, my morals do not cry for help. In addition, the anonymity guaranteed in France is reassuring. I do not donate oocytes to have additional children …
My daughters are magic. I believe that no other word can qualify them. And I hope by this approach that other mothers will also be able to say it one day. It is a gift of oneself, an altruistic gift that expects nothing in return, it is a gift made from the bottom of the heart.
Jennifer