Education is impossible without mutual respect

Respect is the opposite of indifference. Whoever does not appreciate his furniture spoils it: he stains it, scratches it, treats it like it is with some kind of boards. And who appreciates, he takes care: he erases the dust, does not put wet glasses on it and admires it. This rule does not only apply to material things. A special happiness is to devote ourselves to those people whom we value. Who knows how to appreciate others is truly happy. He lives in a “friendly world” and is increasingly moving away from the barbed wire of the “enemy world”.

People perceive respect as a kind of favorable climate in which they can bloom like spring buds. They “pull in the thorns”, stop constantly making excuses and defending themselves, demonstrate their best qualities, suppress aggression and mistrust. A person who shows respect gets a double benefit. Firstly, he rejoices in the good qualities of people, their virtues, and secondly, he enjoys those “even more pleasant” sides that others turn to him personally.

People who respect others are truly rich! They know how to love and accept others, and those, in turn, reciprocate. They trust the potential that lies in every person, and are rarely deceived in their expectations. They enjoy being in the company of other people, and others appreciate their company as well. They are tolerant rather than oppressive, compassionate rather than judgmental, radiate warmth rather than incinerate.

People who treat others with respect are always happy. Everyone with whom they deal, one way or another, respond to them with respect and gratitude.

It is wrong to think that respect must first be earned. On the contrary, only in an atmosphere of respect can a person reveal and show true virtues. The child feels when he is respected. And if, despite daily difficulties, parents remain an example of mutual respect and love, we can say that the children are very lucky. After all, they, most likely, will show respect for others, which means they will grow up to be happy people.

Technological advances, increasing globalization and a dense information network have brought enormous benefits to humanity, but they have also opened a Pandora’s box.

Instead of responsible statesmen, financial markets rule the world. Instead of stable families, large and small “patchwork communities” are fighting for their positions. Instead of authoritative leaders, we are taught by tormented, uninfluenced teachers. Instead of soul-soothing art, a decadent culture of the absurd thrives. Instead of a reasonable union of science and ethics, the motives of power, fame and competition prevail in research.

The children of tomorrow will form the spiritual world, drawing basic information from dubious sources and only very little from their experience, conscience, worldview and analysis of the surrounding reality. The educational task should be formulated as follows: strengthen yourself! Of course, not my arrogance, not an illusory conviction that I myself can do everything or that everything is allowed to me. It is necessary to strengthen the true “I” of a person who draws from transcendental sources intuitive knowledge that there is responsibility.

It used to be true that “knowledge is power”. Active parents did everything to ensure that their children received as much knowledge as possible. But today’s motto is: “respect is survival”! Children who, through their intuition, can form an idea of ​​​​values, have sufficient firmness to act in accordance with them, will not allow society to abuse something or someone in the future. They will not allow themselves to be used – at least, this is all hope.

We need to fight the pseudo-culture of gifts, which requires that unnecessary expensive garbage enter the house many times a year. Time is the most valuable gift. Time for the kids, time for each other. The people we make time for take it as a sign of respect. Whoever took his son to the lake, let him splash in the water for an hour, and then helped to collect stones that could be painted, gave the child an unforgettable experience. What is the aircraft, bought in a hurry and handed over on the move, in comparison with this?

You have no servants, no support, no free time for this? You’re wrong. Home appliances are your servants. Peace of mind is your support. All you don’t need is your free time.

In many families, the most important problem is the difficulty of children’s communication with other family members, peers, teachers and authority figures. Often associated with this is the theme of curbing aggression.

What are the causes of human aggressiveness? In the predatory instinct of man? Desperate for the absurdity of existence? I want to offer my own version: in the basic feeling that I am worthless. Where does this feeling come from? From the lack of respect we experience throughout our lives.

Childhood neuroses are, in a sense, the opposite symptom of childhood abandonment. Neurotic children were often held in too close embraces, while neglected children grew like weeds in the field. Neurotic children take everything too personally, they are afraid of any possible suffering. Abandoned children do not take anything seriously, without any remorse, they are ready to hurt themselves and others.

Accompanying children is like walking on a knife’s edge – abysses stretch to the right and left. The only thing that can keep caregivers on the knife’s edge is respect for the child. Whoever respects loved ones will not leave them, will take care of them, and this will keep him from falling into the abyss “on the left.” Whoever respects loved ones will not oppress them and tyrannically limit them, but will give them the right to self-determination, and this will keep him from falling into the abyss of the “right”.

Respectful attitude for many becomes a lifeline. Parents should love and respect children not for the qualities that they would like to see in them, but for what they really are.

Read more in Elizabeth Lucas’ book The Art of Respect. How to help a child find his way” (Nikeya, 2018)