Modern women now and then complain about the opposite sex. Like, men were completely crushing! And who is to blame for this? We are with you, dear women.
About two years ago I was approached by a mother whose son died … The boy’s death occurred from an overdose of hard drugs in … a city bardel. He was only 20 years old. Smart, well-mannered, talented. It is not hard to imagine what state the mother was in. She barely survived the grief, because throughout all these years she literally lived as a son.
The case, to tell you the truth, is the most academic. In the course of therapy, it turned out that the boy really showed excellent results in his studies from childhood, was always obedient and never defied his mother.
The adolescence of her son passed, according to the woman, “with a bang” – no drunks, no partying, met only with good girls.
By the age of 20, the son lived with his mother and did not show any signs of drug addiction, addiction to fornication. The mother could not believe what had happened and believed that someone had drunk his son and forced him to visit this institution. The investigation established that this was not the first time this young man appeared in such institutions and was often in a deranged state.
So what happened? How did it all happen? The mother was so absorbed in her ideas about the magnificence of her son that he could not afford to behave differently in front of her. But as soon as a young man was left alone with the real world, he immediately indulged in pleasures that his parent did not approve of. It was a gesture of independence and resistance, it was a desire to become oneself; unfortunately, he became different as he knew how, his mother did not teach him to be really responsible for his life, as he was too carried away by the world of his fantasies about the ideal son.
Of course, in no case can you blame mom for the death of the child. The problem is not in one particular woman, but in our society as a whole.
At present, the consciousness of civilization is enslaved by all kinds of media. People form images of ideal parents in a different way than they did a couple of decades ago. Understanding what a mother should be is based on the opinions of marketers …
As a result, we have a completely unexpected image. A modern mother is an old-born person, independent of a man, giving birth to a child for herself. In this case, the man goes to the second, or even the tenth plane, and the child becomes the woman’s universe.
Society welcomes “adult” mothers who, it believes, are consciously about raising children. They prepare to be a mother in advance, read “smart” psychological literature, prepare their already aging body for such a serious and truly traumatic event – childbirth.
Those mothers who gave birth “at the wrong time”, that is, early, receive a truly enormous share of anger from all sides, including from their parents, older brothers and sisters. After all, they did not act like everyone else, they bothered to fulfill their destiny at the time that Mother Nature herself suggests. Children are taken away from them and brought up by a more “intellectual” generation.
What is the end result?
The child becomes the absolute center of the family, and the father is practically not allowed to raise him. And if this is an acceptable development of events for a girl, then the boy grows up completely unprepared for adult life.
A boy must be close to his father, must see his leadership and commitment to responsibility, which today is practically absent from a man …
On the contrary, mothers fall in love with their sons so much that they are ready to “strangle” them with this love. They control boys everywhere, do not give them the opportunity to make decisions, explore the world, learn the masculine nature of being.
Subsequently, the child either cannot identify himself by gender, or does not understand gender differences in the sex-role sphere.
And in the first case, we have an increased number of homosexual relationships, and in the second, there is no mental birth of a man, his birth as a person, a full-fledged member of society, in a simple way – he becomes a “rag” and “henpecked”.
What to do? How to fix the situation? Certainly not to try to draw knowledge from a pile of “smart books”. Of course, I do not urge you not to read psychological literature at all, but you should not forget that books on psychology should be read by psychologists and they are written for psychologists.
Those books that are written for society have nothing to do with psychology and are not helpful in raising a child. After reading even 20 books, you cannot raise a boy step by step. Follow your instincts, or better leave this problem to men. You should provide the boy with only food, sleep and your unconditional love, leave the rest to the person who subconsciously knows what to do.
Have you ever noticed how dads who walk with children on the playground behave with them? They are passionate about the process of playing with the child, and not his control, they give themselves up to these fun together, not thinking about dirty pants, high slides, puddles and wet panties.
The mother, however, is not ready to interact with her child so enthusiastically, because she needs to think about what a good mother she is, she needs to demonstrate to others how well she is raising her son, what an obedient, intelligent boy she is and how actively he fulfills her orders.
Otherwise, you run the risk of repeating the sad experience of the heroine of the article, which I described at the very beginning. Motherly love, love-property is extremely dangerous for the future of a man.
If you want to raise a real “man” from whom women … “fall, fall and fall”, love him as a person, let him choose his path in this world and do not make him a servant for the opposite sex.
And the last thing. The most important. Love your husbands. By this you will show the child all the exclusivity of the male sex in our universe.