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On December 31, 2017, I received such a letter from my distance student.
Nikolai Ivanovich, good afternoon! I read your article «Childhood: happiness at the expense of others». I agree with everything. I remember your words when, looking at my goals, you said that I would not need all my business achievements if there were no those to whom I could transfer my business — or at least business experience — to.
My babies are now 7 (Andrey), 3 (Sasha) and 9 months (Irina). When Andrey was born, our life was more measured, then my wife and I were enthusiastic about early development, Komarovsky, Doman, Montessori, dynamic gymnastics and early swimming. And then career leaps, the rapid growth of business — and I was distracted from the children … Now everything is like everyone else — favorite manipulators manipulate. And this is not correct. We wanted children to be our future. So I, as a father, must keep the issue of raising children in priorities and create this future!
Then — what to do and where to start? Probably as always with goal setting? Wrote — it turns out something like Distance. So, I want my kids by the age of 18…
What followed was a list that more than inspired me. Yes, I edited it. Look!
Dynasty: goals for the development of children.
- They had a habit of going to bed on time and getting up early.
- We woke up cheerful and cheerful, did exercises and actively started the day.
- They knew how to properly restore their strength — they mastered auto-training
- They ate right, knew what and why to eat.
- They had enough knowledge about their body and carried out timely diagnostics.
- Have taken place in some kind of sport (CCM is enough)
- Have a habit of playing sports
- They knew how to dance well
- Able to ride
- Know how to fight, stand up for themselves
- Played football, volleyball, basketball
- knew how to shoot
- Able to ski and surf
- They knew how to go to the mountains and live in field conditions
- knew how to cook
- They were able to fully serve themselves and establish a life
- Take care of things
- Were careful
- They knew the value of money and knew how to handle it
Education, intelligence
- Reading
- Letter
- Mathematics
- Languages
- Drawing
- Love music — play an instrument
- Love to read — read a lot of books
- Poetry
- Think independently
- Chess (KMS)
- Magnificent memory
- They speak beautiful, clean, classical Russian speech
- They know how to plan their time, have time management skills
Emotional Intelligence and Personal Development
- Positive and cheerful. In life, they see the bright side first.
- Lively, energetic, burning. They know how to want.
- They have their own interests and hobbies.
- A proactive life position, they know that if not everything, then almost everything in this life depends on them.
- They know how to set their own goals and achieve them.
- Smooth and positive emotional background, they know how to manage their emotions.
- Persistently perceive difficulties and life failures, overcome them.
Good breeding
- Good manners win people over.
- They know how to speak warmly, carefully and accurately, without hurting people even in difficult cases.
- They speak clearly and clearly.
- They can exactly, almost word for word, repeat the question asked.
- Are able to listen.
- They know how to give compliments.
- Behave confidently, know how to manage and be a leader.
Family and values
- My children love and appreciate family.
- Parents are treated with respect.
- They carry our family values and want to continue our family.
- Honest, decent and worthy people inspire the respect of others.
- Accept responsibility, do not be afraid of it.
- They are not late.
- They keep their word.
- Able to work hard and focus.
- Able to work on long-term projects with delayed results.
- They want to continue my business.
I understood two things. First, these goals will inspire all parents who want their children to be better than they are, so that their children can (and want!) to carry their values into life and continue their lineage with honor. Secondly, parents cannot cope with this task on their own. And I want to help them and I can. So, the DYNASTY project is being announced!
Long live!
I could not even imagine what enthusiasm this project aroused at the University of Practical Psychology. It seemed to me that I voiced the dream of tens and hundreds of my students! Another thing — how to do it? Specific work plan?
We have formed working groups for different ages of children: preschoolers, younger students, teenagers. We select the best methods, talk with the best specialists, and solve organizational issues. It is clear that here it is necessary to work both with children and with the parents themselves. And, it seems, with parents in the first place. Parents will not solve the problem of such upbringing of children without us, but we will not solve it without parents either. The work must be collaborative. Therefore, I have to provide theoretical support, first of all, a series of lectures for parents, and the organization of parenting: Distance for parents.
Topics of the lecture series:
- Dynasty: why is it for me and my children? Work program.
- Parenting Models: Our Choice?
- How parental authority is created.
- The values that underpin family orders. Philosophy of humanism.
- Family constitution: the most important rules for parents.
- How children acquire their character and their values.
- How can we make our children take our values and broadcast them?
- How to educate love, will and character in our children.
- Rules for children of different ages.
- And further — how parents themselves to improve their lives and their relationships with each other.
While I was preparing this and had already begun to conduct it, my students took the initiative and launched the Distance for children themselves. Miracle: it worked, the children were interested, the work went! Read «Children’s Distance — Cultivate a Free Purposeful Personality».
In total: in 2019, we are opening a separate faculty at the University of Practical Psychology: Parenthood. Get ready for a year of training, everything important for you will be available online.
And I want to motivate you: I am publishing a boast of one of my distance students, Maxim Ch.:
I am the father of 5 sons (11 years old, 7 years old, 5 years old, 4 years old, 2 years old) and a daughter (10 months old).
One of the most important goals of my life is to raise children so that they become better than me, and their children would be even better. I invest a lot of effort, time and money in my children. During the year, more than 1000 trainings (acrobatics, swimming, football) and classes (preparation for school, English, music, speech therapist, chess, drawing) are obtained, about 60 exits to the start of various competitions (skating, skiing, running, cycling, scooter, rollerblading , shooting, swimming…even crawling for toddlers). Over the past year, more than 10 victories in sports competitions, 4 records of the city were set with entry into the book. The younger ones show excellent intellectual abilities in the All-Russian tournament of abilities «RostOK». In the spring of 2018, the elder won the research conference of young researchers with the project “Optimization of a wind power generator” (according to the jury, the work was worthy of a university diploma). The eldest son at the age of 10 successfully completed the course of N.I. Kozlov «Leadership and leadership» (Meshchera-2017). My four-year-old son himself notices his «nons» and squats 10 times, makes remarks to his brother like «correct your face.» My five-year-old son wants to become an adult sooner (adults have privileges in the family), so he takes on more and more household responsibilities. I like being a father.
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.