Contents
Due to the presence of an older sister, a soulmate and my own powers of observation, I know a lot about women. You will not surprise me with many hours of searching for the “right” scarf and the manner of painting eyelashes with your mouth open. But even such a “giant of the spirit” like me comes to a standstill, looking at the scale with which the ladies are experiencing love troubles …
Men are primitive creatures, without imagination and will. How Superman reacts to the cruel: “Sorry. I fell out of love. Will I return the gifts? Of course, he “washes” the event, sobs on the chest of a comrade or on the same chest as on the altar, swears “never to have business with women again.” Immediately, quite logically, it goes to surrender to the first oncoming female hands.
Coming out of an amorous dope, still “under anesthesia”, but already with pain in a known organ (heart, of course), he sends cruel telephone messages. In two versions, or: «Be happy with me!», Or: «Be damned if without me!» Then, several times, she tries to “talk”, to ruin the life of her former lover and the “external facade” — to her new gentleman. And that’s it, the track is knurled, suffering is described by the classics greedy for glory. Whether it’s a woman’s business, there is a whole range of experiences that is constantly expanding in the manner of the Universe.
«For everyone to know»
I never understood the girlish desire to make a love drama public. Men do not admit to an amorous fiasco until they “fail” three times in a row thanks to strong drinks, women do not need “sparkling and foamy” doping.
Chronicles of broken hearts are regularly published on the social network, carefully read the statuses of charmers. How do you like the imperishable: “For the eternal male “Wait”, “Shut up”, “None of your business”, there is a female “Free. Next!»
The audience freezes: the categorical tone means that some Irka or Natashka is dissatisfied with the behavior of the chosen one and for some reason brings him to the court of the community. In my opinion, it would be more effective to talk to a friend of the heart, or at least seal his mouth with tape so that he does not utter sedition, but a woman prefers to intimidate her close and not very surroundings with the prospect of terrible “freedom”. Dramatic events are gaining momentum, the following status makes it clear: “The limit of “trust and patience” has been exhausted. The «don’t care» mode is successfully activated.
That’s it, the avalanche has started, the elements are indomitable. Sympathizers shower the sufferer with questions: “Have you parted? What do you feel? How many fingers do you see? Are you okay? Don’t close your eyes, the resuscitation team with the defibrillator is on its way!»
When I observed this for the first time, I decided that the fatal classmate Semyonova thus makes it clear to interested parties that the “holy place” will soon be vacated and it makes sense for those who wish to mobilize. However, Semyonova to this day posts the statuses: “I am harmony to myself”, “Healing loneliness” and “I set dumplings to cook”, from which it follows that there were no people interested in her person. Why then public tragedies are needed, I have no idea.
“It doesn’t matter who. The main global…”
Once, the beloved sat for three evenings in a row with her nose buried in a little book. Periodically she sobbed, underlined something with a pencil, rubbed her forehead. I could not pass by, grabbed the «folio», got acquainted. An honest mother … A phrase from Ilf and Petrov came to mind: «Lokhankin suffered majestically.» The author, popular in narrow circles, overshadowed Vasisualy Lokhankin with a heat of emotions. The woman recalled the departed ruler of thoughts: he loved to dance barefoot, was capricious, fancied himself a creator, left his girlfriends without explanation, made new ones, dragged him to the bride to the author and demanded that everyone love each other, and not at all with a disinterested brotherly feeling.
The author gave fresh details that would make normal readers like me shudder, and summed up: the capricious bohemian boy truly loved only her. How else to explain that he continues to dream of her … Here it is necessary to clarify: after the death, which occurred on the basis of the boy’s abuse of illicit drugs and walking along sheer cliffs.
The author reasoned why she dreams of a 30-year-old boy in a white T-shirt, if he was found in a green one, she saw a secret meaning and God’s providence in this.
Beloved opened her eyes:
— Well, how are you? Isn’t it beautiful?
I shook my head with exaggerated enthusiasm.
— Highly! I look forward to continuing how, after the bell boy, she suffered for a tramp who had lost his human appearance. Or how she loved a life-sentenced prisoner.
“Max,” the beloved frowned, “you always make fun of everything. Agree, the feelings are beautifully described. And the fact that the beloved was sick and addicted does not matter …
I shut up out of stubbornness. The author, in my opinion, could describe with great success her enthusiasm about a lame dog or a sooty ash tree. The main thing is tragic howls, and the hero is the tenth thing. No, explain, well, who is there to sing, for whom to suffer?
Poetry and prose
Once upon a time, a young lady Ulyana was a member of our student company. We felt sorry for the young lady: she was twisted into a ram’s horn by a passion for a cold man. True, pity extended only to those short periods when Ulyana was at a distance. In close contact, forced listeners silently sympathized with the ice knight.
“Imagine, he didn’t answer any of the letters,” Ulyana’s eyes flashed menacingly. And this is after everything that happened! ..
And what was something? A man appeared on the horizon once every couple of weeks, spent time with Ulyana, communication was purely physical in nature. He did not promise her scarlet sails, cheeky offspring and a family heirloom in the form of a grandmother’s ring. Perspicacious and proud virgins would have long ago seen in the actions of the knight (more precisely, in their absence) the usual easy connection. Ulyana, on the other hand, stubbornly refused to admit the obvious: she proclaimed the grilled chicken brought by the man as “serious intentions”; an accidental encounter with his mother — «acquaintance with the family.» In a word, the knight played comedy for several years, and Ulyana frenziedly dramatized events, besieging the man with calls and dispatches.
We, witnesses and eyewitnesses, have come to hate drama as a genre of art. And then — and all the love-accusatory poetry. Because one day Ulyana finally regained her sight, sent a carriage of farewell letters to the hero and was forever disappointed in love. As always, the inner circle suffered: Ulyana had a disgusting manner of turning parties into a rehearsal for a drama club. Imitating his wife Orlovich from Pokrovsky Gates, she recited Tsvetaev’s Attempt at Jealousy in a high voice: “How do you live with your friend? Easier right? A stroke of the oar! .. ”If Marina Tsvetaeva had foreseen such a free interpretation of her work, she would probably have focused on dashing ditties.
… The situation is stupid from beginning to end: a woman gave depth and meaning to an empty novel, an inconsistency of nature “twisted” an ordinary deceiver, herself the role of a victim of a “fatal passion”. And we were forced to watch the performance, blot our eyes with a handkerchief in the right places and feel sorry for the actress. For what?..
«I execute and pity»
… Sister Natashka was 16, which partly explains her then nonsense. She was dying of love for the bodybuilder Vovka — a pile of muscles who pulled the barbell with the same zeal and cut out hearts for Natasha from pink cardboard. I, by the right of a 10-year-old experienced cynic, despised both. Also me, nurses divorced! ..
She listened to me in vain, trusted idle empty-headed friends in vain. I authoritatively stated that Natashkin Vovka is suitable only for circus strongmen. Girlfriends incited, they say, «there is strength — no mind is needed.» And how much do young anemones need …
My sister got into the habit of organizing tests and tournaments for Vovka every day. She asked me to meet her from school, Vovka obediently came, and the scoundrel went out arm in arm with an ankle-legged classmate. Then she teased the bodybuilder in love in the company, he blushed and silently endured tricks. Then she asked to see one of her girlfriends home and immediately gave a «dressing» for treason. Vovka was confused, he could not find an explanation, and he no longer wanted to expose Natashkin’s pride to mockery. And he did an act for which I instantly respected him, and Natasha cannot forget to this day. Vovka razu.e.l knot, breaking off relations.
The sister sobbed, looked for meetings, through friends she passed on requests for an “important conversation” — Vovka took up a deaf defense. I have no doubt that parting was also difficult for him, but Natasha wanted drama … He could not refuse.
It was terrible to look at her. No, outwardly she has not changed in any way, except that she has slightly haggard and turned pale. And she smiled with a strange, apologetic smile … Natashka was not the first to send a man to the scaffold to repent later. Before her, Margarita of Navarre did this, who kissed the fading head of her lover La Mole: “Madame, your dress is covered in blood. “It doesn’t matter, as long as the smile is on your face.” Imitators of drama queens to this day are more than enough.
To someone else’s mill
There is another type of amorous storms, understandable, but unbearable for men. When the drama plays out without them…
Neighbor Marinka, a 17-year-old thin girl, was in love with a married handsome man from the seventh floor. Marinka sat for hours on a bench at the entrance, waiting for the handsome man to walk to his native doorstep and throw an impersonal «Hello.» And Marinka will open her eyes, freeze and accept “hello” only at her own expense. And she herself will come up with a secret meaning, she herself will draw interest in his eyes …
I was initiated, admitted to Marinkin’s fictional world. Like the most faithful friend, the confidant listened to her delusions. I suffered in silence and fiercely hated the handsome married man from the seventh floor … I was hopelessly in love with Marinka, her phantasmagoric story was my real drama with real heroes. The curtain.