Many are familiar with stories when the behavior of a child abruptly and unreasonably, sometimes beyond recognition, changes for the worse. Misdemeanors go beyond the familiar and familiar pranks that have become over the years. Tikhonya, who hitherto played sedentary calm creative games, rushes about all day long like a clockwork, transforms into fairy-tale characters, stops responding to a name, invents a new world for himself and lives in it. An excellent student who does well in many subjects suddenly loses interest in school, skips classes, becomes sloppy, gu.e. A diligent optimist teenager is drawn into the company of «difficult» peers, is fond of new trends in modern youth subculture.
Caring parents, for whom any changes that occur with the child do not go unnoticed, are trying to restore the harmony of the child’s inner world. Unfortunately, often the help of parents comes down to only educational measures — «carrot» or «stick», attempts to establish complete control over the life of the child. If this does not bring the desired result, the intra-family conflict grows, all family members are drawn into it. The tangle of problems becomes such that only a specialist can unravel it by strength. But parents do not always seek help, explaining the child’s behavior as a «terrible character», «tomfoolery», a desire to «play on nerves».
First, let’s define what we’re talking about. about pronounced, gu.e.x and long-term behavioral disorders, and not isolated whims, «holidays of disobedience», children’s stubbornness and humor, i.e. situations faced by all parents.
It is necessary to learn that, on the one hand, the child is a completely independent person, having his own rights, desires, needs. On the other hand, he is not an adult in miniature! The unbearable behavior of the child does not necessarily mean that he acts «out of spite», deliberately sets himself up as a tyrant of the family, or seeks to bring his parents to «white heat» at any cost.
The reasons leading to violations in the behavior of the child are very extensive. Wrong approaches in upbringing, an overestimated level of requirements, excessive academic workload, the desire for self-affirmation and compensation for complexes — are our children alone responsible for all this? Children subtly feel the atmosphere within the family and react in a similar way to the conflicts of their parents. In more serious cases, under the guise of unbearable behavior, deviations from normal psychological development or mental illness are hidden (for example, depressive disorders are quite possibly hidden under the façade of conflict, aggressiveness, changes in the character traits of a teenager). Hereditary factors (and character is inherited from parents), severe pregnancy, developmental disorders in the first year of life serve as the foundation for the appearance of problems at an older age.
The girl imitates adults.
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Child psychologists and psychiatrists treat external, sudden, unreasonable, strange changes in behavior from the point of view of a non-specialist as symptoms, the tip of the iceberg, under which a serious pathology may be hiding. If, in combination with behavioral problems, there is hyperactivity, loss of previously acquired skills, enuresis, fears, pathological habits, fantasizing with playful reincarnation, leaving home and a tendency to wander, aggressiveness, then the child should be consulted by a specialist.
It is typical for childhood that disorders caused by different causes manifest themselves almost the same way. First of all, it is noticeable in behavior. At kindergarten age, this is increased anxiety, stuttering, sleep disorders, and appetite. Preschoolers and primary school students are more likely to have fears, increased excitability, sleepwalking and sleep-talking, game transformation, loss of contacts with peers.
Unfortunately, the official statistics on the mental health of our children sound terrifying. Already at the age of 3 years, 9,6% of children have a clear mental pathology. Among preschool children, only 45% of children have no signs of impaired psychological development. And among high school students, the prevalence of mental disorders reaches 70-80%. 48% of young men are recognized as unfit for military service, among them a quarter (!) Due to mental pathology.
We must be aware that today’s children are tomorrow’s adults. Only a specialist can determine what is the cause of a certain behavioral disorder in children and adolescents. He will tell you exactly where the root of the problem lies, give qualified advice, and, if necessary, provide therapeutic assistance.
Many people postpone consultations, believing that child psychotherapists treat exclusively with drugs, and working with a psychologist will be unnecessary or will not bring the expected result. In most cases, the situation can be corrected in the shortest possible time with a huge arsenal of non-drug remedies: these are numerous methods of individual and family psychotherapy, the search for and elimination of factors that cause disorders, health-improving and sports activities with the normalization of regime moments, homeopathy and much more.
When a child has a toothache, the parents run to the dentist, when the child coughs and sneezes — to the therapist. With psychological problems, a difficult intra-family situation, seeking help, as practice shows, is postponed. Of course, this is due to the lack of social advertising and the general level of knowledge in the areas of mental health. Psychological and psychotherapeutic services in Russia, especially in such large cities as Moscow and St. Petersburg, are quite well developed. They are represented by dispensaries, counseling centers, psychotherapeutic polyclinics, and, finally, by qualified medical practitioners.
So maybe, before scolding your child and re-educating him with persistence, you should ask yourself why the child misbehaves?