Don’t force them to read!

Eleven-year-old Kostya declares that he does not like to read. “I like comics, magazines with pictures of different countries,” he says. – But thick books – all boring. At school, we are given extracurricular reading, but I only read the first pages, and then I ask the guys to tell how it all ended.

Thousands of children in Russia, like Kostya, do not want to read “boring books,” confirms Yulia Yuzbasheva, director of the research agency Validata Kids: “According to our research, schoolchildren read little fiction (the only exception is, perhaps, only books about Harry Potter) , they are primarily interested in comics: “Spider-Man”, “Magnificent Four”, “Hulk”, “Scooby Doo” – and magazines.

Teenage girls are fond of fashion publications, boys read about computer games and mobile phones, less often – popular science encyclopedias and books like “The Most Poisonous Animals in the World”, “The XNUMX Most Famous Pirates”, etc. Information about the life of celebrities, fashion trends and mobile innovations helps them keep up the conversation with their friends.” “It is not true to say that children began to read less than their parents at their age,” says school psychologist Natalya Evsikova, “they just read different literature.” Does this mean that we worry in vain?

Know the world differently

Serious books do not attract a child, but at the same time he cannot be called illiterate or retarded in development – he is simply interested in something else. He loves to play football, listen to music, make things or mess with the aquarium. “Lack of interest in reading does not mean a lack of interest in life,” says psychologist Elena Smirnova. “Anxiety is really justified when the child is not interested in anything at all.” However, this explanation does not satisfy many parents, who consider it their duty to start teaching their child to read as early as possible, because they are sure that this skill is directly related to his success in the future.

Nikita was taught to read from the age of three, now he is nine, and he flatly refuses to do so. Each book is read with tears, persuasion: another paragraph, another page… And as a result, he can’t really tell what it is about, or remember the names of the characters, and the very appearance of the book he associates only with parental threats: until you read three chapters you won’t go for a walk! Nikita began to complain of a headache and, as a result, turned from a cheerful child into a painful crybaby. His parents brought him to a psychologist almost in a panic: “He does not like to read! How to explain to him that without reading he will not achieve anything in life?

Many parents are sure that if a child loves reading, it will be easier for him to learn, he will become more purposeful and, in general, will be able to achieve a lot. “But success in life does not directly depend on the love of reading,” says Natalia Evsikova. “On the contrary, by forcing a child, we provoke behavior that is not characteristic of him: he begins to figure out how to adapt to the elders, how to avoid screaming or even punishment for not reading much. Involuntarily, he learns a dependent style of behavior.

Nikita, for example, “invented” a disease for himself, and as a result he really began to get sick, since the attitude of his parents to the problem has not changed.

“Forcing children to read, parents often go too far and easily “get into the taste,” continues Natalia Evsikova. “Parental pressure usually starts around the time they start first grade, but gradually a coercive style of relationship becomes natural to their communication, which inevitably creates new problems.”

The child begins to study worse and worse, ceases to get involved in anything at all, or, on the contrary, “drives” himself with studies, additional classes, books, and as a result loses the ability to enjoy simple pleasures. But he does everything to make his parents proud of him, believe in him – and finally leave him alone.

Reading is one of the ways of knowing the world. The desire to read will come if the topic is interesting to the child. In a situation of coercion, he involuntarily learns a dependent style of behavior. The development of the child and his success (in reading) depend on the diversity of his vital interests.

Command or interest

“I can’t imagine my life without books. I give my students a lot of reading – without fail, and on trips I try to read aloud to them myself, – says Tamara Eidelman, Honored Teacher of the School of Russia, teacher of history at the Moscow Gymnasium No. 1567. — But my son has probably read 20 books in 20 years of his life, among which there are neither War and Peace nor Crime and Punishment… At the same time, he is an interesting and kind person — an excellent photographer, an avid kayaker, enjoys music, interested in politics, travels a lot. I’m beginning to question whether it’s necessary to love reading in order to live life to the fullest.”

“The verb “read” does not tolerate the imperative mood, like some other verbs: “love”, “dream” … – clarifies the French writer Daniel Pennac (Daniel Pennac). Of course, you can always try. Shall we try? “Love me!” “Dream!” “Read!” “Read, damn it, to whom it is said – read!” And what is the result? Nothing. By order, by order, pleasure does not work. It turns out quite the opposite.”

The trouble with many caring parents is that they insist on reading the books they find right, often disregarding the opinions of small (and not so) readers. “When I was ten or twelve years old, in the summer my mother made me read 10 pages a day,” recalls 27-year-old Dmitry. – I procrastinated the text, mumbled something, hid from my mother and got scolded. As a result, it wasn’t until I was 25 that I learned to read “for pleasure.” In a good way, if then instead of Tolstoy’s Childhood they gave me a reference book of a young radio amateur, then I would be imbued.

“Try to figure out what he likes the most,” advises Natalya Evsikova. – This will help not only better understand what the child feels, but also change the style of your communication. As a result, it will be easier for you to offer him a book that really matches his interests.”

Reading Everywhere

Quite often, children are indifferent to “big” literature, but they read magazines, various encyclopedias, comics based on their favorite films. “All this is also reading, and it must be respected,” says Natalya Evsikova. – It enriches the imagination, helps to cognize the world around us and ourselves. There is no good and bad reading, it is only age-appropriate or not.”

Some parents rashly “record” in low genres everything that does not have a dust jacket or gold stamping on the spine. “I was terribly angry with my 13-year-old son when I saw that he was buying some kind of children’s magazine,” says 35-year-old Olga. — I was annoyed by the very fact of buying some cheap comics! He said to me: let’s see if you can answer the questions from this magazine? And he began to ask me about the history and geography of the Ancient East. To be honest, I failed. I leafed through – I was convinced that this was not an empty reading at all!

Treat children’s reading with an open mind, it will make life easier for you and the children. “If a child studies serial collections about pirates or robberies with interest, this does not mean at all that he will grow up to be a pirate or a thief,” says Elena Smirnova. “It could be exactly the opposite. In the same way, it should not be considered an axiom that any criminal will certainly enter the path of correction if he reads “high prose.”

Free choice

You can hate books at the age of eight, and at 20, reading will become your favorite pastime. The reasons why children become interested in books can be different. Often this happens after the school and parents stop imposing reading.

“I am a techie by nature, the Russian language and literature have always been difficult for me,” says 24-year-old Ekaterina. – I missed these lessons and, if possible, tried to skip them. Having entered the Technological University, I suddenly discovered … that I read fiction with pleasure! I want to do it – and it’s hard to imagine what could be different.

“I began to read out of a sense of rivalry: my friend and I competed to see who could read the collected works of Dumas the fastest,” says 25-year-old Irina. “Then we got so involved that the excitement of the game disappeared, but the interest in reading remained.”

Sometimes the book itself provides the right momentum, as in the case of 18-year-old Boris, who read The Da Vinci Code only because everyone around him was talking about it. The bestseller so fascinated Boris that he began to read historical novels, read The Case of the Templars by Lobe and Guy, Druon, and several books on world history. “Modern teenagers closely follow fashion,” comments Elena Smirnova, “including the fashion of reading. They will definitely read the bestseller they are talking about or their idol’s favorite book, because it is very important for them to feel their own competence.

Of course, students are forced to learn the minimum necessary for the program. But here’s the paradox. “If you don’t force a teenager to read Pushkin or Shakespeare, as well as watch a movie or a play, if you don’t force him to go on an excursion, he will never do it himself,” says Lev Sobolev, honored teacher of the school of Russia, teacher of Russian language and literature at the Moscow gymnasium No. 1567 . “But at the same time, you can’t force him to do it, because Shakespeare, read under pressure, is not worth a penny.”

Reading is not just pleasure, but above all freedom. The freedom to choose what to read – on your own, without teachers, without parents. Reading is generally a personal matter, because in it we seek and to a large extent reflect ourselves. A lot of virtues are attributed to books, which they really possess. But there are many other ways to get to know the world and develop your imagination: playing, music, painting or cinema… Parents brought up in the Soviet school in the belief that a book is primarily a “source of knowledge” and “the best gift” is not easy to accept this idea. But it is worth trying if we really want reading to be a natural and joyful process for our children.