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Anxious, repetitive thoughts torment many people. They can ruin any day, but it is especially difficult to withstand their attack at night. How to deal with them? Therapist Susan Haas offers her own view of the problem and specific solutions.
Quite often it happens that thoughts control us, and not we control them. Many books and articles have been written on this topic, spiritual and mental practices have been invented, and yet it remains very relevant. Dr. Susan Bailey Haas, a therapist and author of many publications on stress and burnout, offers her perspective on the problem.
“Don’t let your thoughts pull your strings,” she writes. “I myself have a tendency to think constantly. I can even say that I’m just an expert on attachment thoughts. My mind loves to grab hold of something unpleasant and twist it around in itself, especially if the topic or person makes me anxious or irritated. It may seem to me that this is a constructive or defensive process, but I am mistaken. By allowing it to get out of control, I start to go crazy and lose cognitive and emotional resilience.»
What we think matters. The more often we repeat a topic in our mind, the more likely it is to come back again.
Looping on negative thoughts
The neural circuit that represents a single thought or idea in our brain is activated every time it is repeated. The more often we think about it, the stronger this path. Let’s say there’s something new that we start to worry about, Dr. Haas explains. The first time this thought occurs to us, we experience a little anxiety.
For example, we leaf through the news on the Internet. A loud headline warns of a possible financial crisis. For the first time, we have the idea that we could lose our jobs if the economic situation gets worse. This is disturbing, and we start thinking about it every time we hear about a possible crisis.
The more often we think, the stronger the connection between thought and anxiety, the more difficult it is for us to get rid of both. The idea begins to haunt us at night when there are no other distractions.
In the end, we get hung up on it. Anxiety distracts us during an important meeting with the boss or prevents us from doing urgent work on time. Now there is the added concern that this terrible thought itself may affect the quality of our work. Ironically, this increases the likelihood of being fired. So we’re even more worried.
It gets to the point that we often think about it at home, spending time with our spouse. Not wanting to disturb him or her, we do not explain anything, however, our detachment and workload are already noticeable and remain inexplicable for a partner. Time passes in anxious thoughts, and the economic crisis has not yet come. We did a good job, the bosses seem happy, but we are still worried — what if?
Take control of your head
One cannot ignore, notes Susan Haas, that this type of persistent, disturbing thoughts that take root over time can indicate a more significant psychological disorder, such as generalized anxiety or OCD. But in her experience, this is an extremely common occurrence in many mentally healthy patients and clients, including herself.
We ourselves play a certain role in this process. Based on the principles of neuroplasticity, our brains become «entangled» in the thought we often think. We allow ourselves to have this thought, emphasizes Dr. Haas, and keep it in our heads. This is where it all starts. “If you are a person who tends to worry and have thoughts in your head, be very careful with this. Stand guard at the door of your mind, she warns. — Develop mindfulness. Don’t be a passive observer of what’s going on in your head.»
Explore your way of thinking
The presence of a thought, even an obsessive one, does not mean that it corresponds to the truth. Anxiety, depression, stress, misguided beliefs, and past experiences can trigger maladaptive thought patterns in our brains. These types of thoughts take many forms: “I am a failure”, “nobody likes me”, “I can’t do anything right”, “I can never change”, “something is bound to go wrong”, “my spouse is always so…” The list goes on.
Whenever we notice that a negative thought is being created in the mind, we need to ask a simple question: should we let it take over our consciousness when it pleases? “When I see this type of thinking or belief in a client or patient, I like to prove it wrong.”
Ask the right questions
If you start to formulate questions, it usually becomes clear that the thought or idea is false, exaggerated, useless, or destructive. Dr. Haas suggests some questions to ask yourself in this situation:
- It’s true?
- Is there evidence to the contrary?
- Why does this thought keep popping up in my head?
- Is there a healthier perspective/idea we could focus on?
Replace false ideas with truth
It is in our power, Susan Haas is convinced, to weaken false ideas and strengthen the mind with realistic thoughts. Weaken and dismantle ingrained negative thought circuits by refusing to follow a useless path. Create a chain that is more useful and relevant to reality.
“Replace the negative thought pattern with something more accurate,” recommends Dr. Haas. — Not just “positive thinking”, but the real truth of life. Truth is strength.»
On the rare occasion that persistent negative thoughts point to an urgent problem that needs to be dealt with, we can solve the problem once and for all and stop worrying by doing what we can. This is far more constructive than letting our worries go without a solution.
“Cultivate the habit of stepping back, observing and evaluating your thoughts. Especially if there is negativity that keeps popping up and causing you anxiety.” Of course, the help of a doctor or a psychotherapist can be a good idea. Especially if the repetitive thoughts cause us great distress, affect relationships with others, or interfere with healthy functioning. Those we trust can help us find and build on the truth.
About the author: Susan Bailey Haas is a general practitioner and author of publications on mental health, stress management, and burnout.