Does the exchange of partners spur desire?

“Sometimes we catch ourselves in fantasies in which we indulge in voyeurism or exhibitionism – perhaps for many of us it is quite possible to experience swinging, a temporary exchange of partners? Some go on such an experiment out of curiosity, others – to better understand and explore their sexuality. Still others believe that swing is a means to diversify intimate life.

A man and a woman who are bored in bed are often embarrassed to reveal their innermost fantasies to each other, and even more so – to realize them. And so, hand in hand, they go to the swingers club. But what is it like to have sex with someone else under the gaze of your partner? Or see how he does it? Inevitably, the theme of the “love triangle” pops up: the feelings and fantasies associated with it can be intensely lived during the swing meeting.

Does such an experience always help a couple, give a new impetus to their sex life? It depends on what brought the partners to the swingers club. If they are constrained in bed, if it is difficult for them to give free rein to their erotic fantasies, then it can almost certainly be argued that swing will not solve their problems and only add new ones. Feelings of resentment and anger at the sight of the pleasure of a partner, growing alienation (one likes swing, and the other does not), a feeling of humiliation …

We repeat that we are not talking about the moral side: nothing prevents us from having sex with a dozen participants. And if a couple wants to bring a new note to their already rich sex life, then she can experience additional joys. But if the partners themselves are afraid of their desire, no new experience will save them from this fear, you need to understand its origins. Let us not fall into error and expect that the stimulus that arouses our desire must appear from outside. No, it can only arise within us, thanks to that inner freedom that each of us can (or not?) afford in order to experience new vivid sexual sensations.