«Does Santa Claus exist?» What to say to a child

Our experts are unanimous: at any age, you cannot deprive a child of a miracle. Belief in him, sometimes irrational, allows even adults to overcome difficult obstacles and solve problems. Tasks that seem impossible to those who do not believe in miracles.

Many experts, including Eric Berne, are convinced that the role of the inner child in the life of an adult cannot be overestimated.

In fact, society regularly puts us in this position — when we become a young specialist in a company or take on a new social role (for example, son-in-law or daughter-in-law).

In such situations, a childhood filled with faith in miracles helps to survive stressful moments and adapt as easily as possible.

“Until a certain age, a child lives in a specific magical world of fantasy and creativity,” says psychologist and body therapist Dmitry Berger. — The simplest and most logical conversation about Santa Claus can be built like this: you, as an adult, take on the role of Santa Claus and explain to the child that he is unconditionally loved and will definitely get his share of the fairy tale, touch the miracle.

At the same time, in order to please Santa Claus, it is desirable to be among those children who study diligently, collect toys, eat carefully, and so on.

That is, you do not deceive the child: in fact, you act as Santa Claus and recommend on his behalf exactly what you need. And you yourself give the child if he fulfills your wishes.

To some extent, you establish a dialogue between the child and the world of magic. In the future, this will allow the child to retain the feeling of touching the miracle.

This will help to carry a part of your childhood through your whole life, which is very important.

Our life is a fragile and beautiful miracle, and there is no sadder sight than adults in which the light of a happy and bright child has died out.

«Why do you have doubts?»

“Young children usually believe in the words of their parents without any critical reflection and analysis.

That is why a child under 4-5 years old, most likely, will not even ask this question, says Ekaterina Kes, a child and family psychologist. “If you read books about Santa Claus to him from childhood, watched cartoons and told him that it was Santa Claus who puts gifts under the Christmas tree or personally distributes them when he comes to visit, it won’t even occur to the kid that Santa Claus may not exist.” .

But closer to the age of 5, a child may have vague doubts — is it true that there really is a winter wizard? The child can either think of it himself, or hear from someone that «there is no Santa Claus.»

In such a situation, Ekaterina Kes does not advise parents to answer unambiguously the questions of a doubting child.

It is better to reflect and explore this topic with him, asking open-ended questions, for example:

• What do you think?
• Like you used to believe in him?
• Are you now beginning to doubt that he actually exists?
• Why did you have doubts?
• Would you like Santa Claus to exist?

Such questions will help you better understand your child, find out where he got his doubts from and what he himself thinks about this.

This form of dialogue with the child is preferable regardless of the topics you are discussing. By asking questions, you do not give out ready-made answers, but think with him, help formulate your thoughts, encourage thinking.

However, you can learn a lot about your child if you listen carefully.

“Many children and adults believe in him, and I still do too”

“Unambiguously convincing a child that Santa Claus exists is not very correct — if a child asks about it, it means that he already feels that this is not true,” continues Ekaterina Kes. — And yet, just take it and say: “There is no Santa Claus, these are all disguised actors who work for money” is also not an option. It means destroying the magic in one fell swoop and taking the dream away from the child.”

A child psychologist advises the following phrase: “You know, I can’t say for sure whether Santa Claus exists or not. Many children and even adults believe in him, and I still do. I have never seen him myself, but I have heard a lot about him.

I believe that there is the most important Santa Claus, who lives far, far in the North and is helped by many of his assistants. It is these helpers who come to the children. You know, there are such magical things in which if you believe, then they exist, and if you do not believe, then they do not exist.

You do not deceive the child and do not tell obvious lies, and at the same time leave him hope and the opportunity to believe in what he himself wants to believe.

And children really really want to believe in a fairy tale and magic.

What else can be answered?

Psychologist and art therapist Ekaterina Antyufieva advises three more answers depending on age.

“Of course, Santa Claus exists!” (3-5 years)

Belief in a fairy tale is one of the resource states of childhood. It is important for children to believe that in life there is a place for magic, celebration, unexpected surprises and wishes that come true. But not only for children, right?

Memories of the anticipation of a miracle and the atmosphere of a family holiday for many years later will respond in the soul with warmth and gratitude.

“Santa Claus is a miracle, and miracles happen to those who believe in them” (5-7 years)

Watch a movie about Lapland with your child or visit the Russian residence of Father Frost. Write him a letter (there is such a service), your baby will be happy to receive an answer in a beautiful envelope.

Tell that Santa Claus really needs helpers, so he asks other people to help him arrange a holiday, and they put on costumes, congratulate children and give gifts.

This will save the child from disappointment when he notices, for example, that Santa Claus in kindergarten speaks in the voice of a teacher.

«We’re all a bit of a wizard, remember?» (8-10 years old)

At this age, a child can be told that Santa Claus exists, but exists as an image, as a kind fairy tale, as a wonderful tradition to create a holiday and give joy to others.

Involve your child in preparing for the New Year, choosing and packing gifts for family members.

You can take part in a charity event together, for example, for kids from an orphanage. Thus, Santa Claus will gradually turn from an omnipotent fairy-tale character into a symbol of creating a miracle with his own hands, and then take his place in the best childhood memories.