Sometimes we feel that we lack the sense of belonging to something that transcends ourselves to truly fulfill our lives. Three people — each with their own attitude to faith — told us about how they found their beliefs and why they cannot imagine their lives without them.
Blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it,” says the Gospel (Luke 11:28). Blessed means happy. Know the word «blessed» there is another meaning — «holy fool»: «fool, born crazy» *. In other words, the one who “blesses” says who knows what. And this is exactly how many, with irony and distrust, perceive those who admit that they have found their happiness in faith. But can faith in the powers of heaven automatically give us a guarantee of earthly bliss? No, of course not. Yes, and the question itself is completely wrong.
Everything that mankind has done since the very beginning of its history has invariably been directed towards the search for happiness. This desire is inherent in each of us, it is in our blood. Only the paths and hopes differ — for the omnipotence of God, for the political system or for the social model … Monotheistic religions call Christians, Muslims and Jews to asceticism in order to later become possible the highest bliss in paradise. Eastern sages, on the contrary, teach not to expect anything, but to learn to live in the present and get satisfaction from what is happening to us «here and now.» And yet, the most diverse spiritual paths invariably converge on one thing — we cannot be happy alone. Therefore, each religion encourages its adherents to bear witness to others with what good gifts their beliefs fill their lives. This is the story of our heroes — Alena, Olga and Shlomo.
* V. Dal «Explanatory Dictionary of the Living Great Russian Language» (Ripol classic, 2006).
«I’m happy with what I have today»
“Before, I was even a little jealous of those who sincerely believe. Believers can come to the temple, confess, pray, ask their Lord for something. And this brings them relief, joy, and maybe even happiness. And I am an agnostic, and not only is my hope for higher powers alien, but the very possibility of their existence seems absolutely unprovable. Therefore, I, like the heroes of Conan Doyle, believe that a person is the creator of his own happiness. I am happy when I look at the sea waves breaking on the rocks. Or when I return home after an evening run, fitness, skiing … Or when I sit on a cozy summer cottage and watch a flaming sunset … I learned to enjoy what I have today. And I do not want to delve deeply into where this feeling of happiness comes from. I just feel good, and I seize the moment. Did I become an agnostic because I received a mathematical education? On the one hand, the natural sciences bring us closer to understanding the material world, and not to resolving metaphysical issues. On the other hand, many mathematicians of Antiquity and the Middle Ages were also philosophers, theologians, wrote music, composed poetry. That is, they combined studies in the natural sciences with an intense life of the spirit. My need for a spiritual life is satisfied by literature and cinema. But there is another source of happiness — math lessons. I do not seek to simply teach the student to prove theorems or derive complex formulas. I want my lessons to make him feel more comfortable in the world. So that his parents stop scolding him, so that he becomes an authority in the eyes of his peers, he begins to take the exam more calmly … Solving such quite earthly tasks makes me truly happy.
«I don’t want to lose my roots»
I admit right away: I don’t wear a kippah and I don’t celebrate Shabbat, the holy Saturday, when it is customary to abstain from any work. But I pray, I don’t eat pork, and it’s very important for me to marry a Jewish woman. It so happened that in modern society, on the one hand, we do not forget about our traditions, and on the other hand, we do not observe them. We’re trying to be trendy. For example, when I return home on Friday evening, I can’t turn off my phone, TV, computer … I can’t give up what I’m used to, although I understand that it’s bad. Observance of traditions is a personal choice of a person, his desire not to lose his roots and remember why he came to this earth. Religion has played a huge role in my life since childhood: I went to a Jewish kindergarten and school with a religious bias, and now I study at the Department of Jewish Studies. It is very important for me to feel unity with the past of my people, its history. I am sure: there is neither sense nor happiness to live without faith. Why be a good person if you do not believe that everything will return to us in the future? You can, of course, follow the commandments out of habit. But the effect will be a hundred times weaker than if you do it with desire, faith, inspiration. It must come from the depths of the soul. Recently, I have become more and more merged with Russian society and I can honestly say that I am afraid … of falling in love with a Russian girl. And I need to live the way my parents live. It is important for me to continue their path — this is happiness.
«I managed to find my way»
“It’s not that I went to the Orthodox faith — I just started wearing a cross found at my grandmother at the age of fifteen. I really wanted this. When something important happened, I squeezed it in my palms and spoke with God. It seemed to me that He hears me… Then I learned the prayer. After some time, I went to church, stood one service, another. I started reading the Bible and the Gospel. Every time when it was vague in my soul and no one even from very close people could help, I turned to God. And I always felt better, somehow quieter, calmer. The necessary thoughts came, doubts ceased to torment … But one day a serious conflict occurred in my soul. The fact is that I have long and seriously taken a great interest in yoga, I teach. And from one of my friends I heard a rather categorical judgment: everyone who practices yoga betrays God and does not even have the right to enter a church. He explained: there is the first commandment: «I am the Lord your God, that you shall have no other gods but Me.» But I always thought and still think that I am doing a righteous thing — helping people! What I experienced then is difficult to describe in words — disappointment, resentment, fear. Now I understand that it was a real test — will I have enough faith to survive, to remain in Orthodoxy? And now I remember that time as the most difficult in my life. I was afraid to go to church and yoga. The most unpleasant thing is that I could not repent of my sin, because I did not see my guilt! And yet I persevered: I found a temple and a priest… who blessed me for yoga classes. It seems to me that it was at that moment that I realized the need to become not just an Orthodox, but a church-going person. Each of us has our own path. I have love for God and a clear conviction that I can only address him through Orthodoxy. So I have found my way. And that makes me happy.»