Does a man like a woman’s helplessness?

Female helplessness is the most ambiguous feature of our essence. She inspires someone to exploits, on the contrary, she makes someone turn away from the girl. Is the inability to make decisions really a trump card in the sleeve, and how imaginary and real helplessness affect relationships in a couple?

Let’s start with the fact that men are different, and women’s helplessness is also different. From extreme points to quite sane helplessness. Actually, the reaction to each of them will be appropriate. There is situational helplessness — for example, a girl cannot screw in a light bulb or lift a weight. In principle, she will not take on the solution of the problem, because she does not want to do this, she does not know how or wants to appear in the eyes of her beloved as a little girl who needs attention and care. And there is chronic helplessness — not the ability to think, make decisions, be responsible for them. Such ladies build their lives entirely around a man, completely depend on him, consult and ask for help at every step. And what is remarkable, for any “goods” there is a “merchant”.

What determines the attitude of men to such manifestations of the character of girls? From what kind of girl he wants to see next to him in life, how he sees his relationship. If he is looking for a self-sufficient, wise partner who is able to answer for herself, and somewhere to help him, then his total helplessness will anger and annoy him. If he needs a blond girl with huge eyelashes, a helpless face and an unwillingness to think in order to assert herself at her expense, then her inability to cope with situations will only play into his hands. Men like to feel needed and important, that only he can solve all her problems. But such inconsistency will be liked for the time being.

Helplessness as a purely feminine way of manipulating men

There is real helplessness (well, she alone cannot lift a new refrigerator to the 15th floor), but there is pretense. And the man who can recognize them will be happy. And often, out of laziness or their own stupidity, women begin to play the role of a “little child”, helpless to the marrow of their bones. She cannot choose a dish in a restaurant herself, calls him every ten minutes for advice on choosing wallpaper for their bedroom, is unable to buy herself a new dress without his approval. Perhaps, at the stage of falling in love and seduction, the image of a fool can give its dividends, but, say, in family life, such helplessness will go sideways to the union. She may not be able to perform complex or hard work, work in which she is incompetent, but in her direct feminine duties she must still be self-sufficient. A man will simply get tired of asserting himself and seeming a superhero, ready to help in any difficult situation, if a girl simply cannot be relied upon. Having reached the age at which you begin to learn to take responsibility (usually 10-12 years old), the girl should continue to be independent even further, in adulthood. Why would he build a relationship with her, have children, acquire common goals and plans if she is not able to take care of herself, not to mention someone else’s life?

But do not forget that the inability to cope with a certain situation and asking for help in some way even strengthen relationships, make men look at us with different eyes. Women who pull huge bags from stores, who know how to nail and hammer, who are able to rearrange furniture and dig a garden without male help, as a rule, end up alone. This is just a case of situational helplessness. Most men are helpless in the kitchen, women in the garage. But if she is a craftswoman on all fronts, a man has no choice but to leave her alone with her completely organized life. First, he has nowhere to wedge with his help. He was not asked about it, and it is unlikely that she will be welcome. And, secondly, he loses the desire to do something for her, if she can handle herself quite well. Conclusion: female helplessness has a place to be, but only real and in those situations where one simply cannot do without the help of a loved one. In this case, a man will respond willingly and enthusiastically to a sincere and genuine request for help.

Now a few words about indignant ladies with wording from the series “to patronize and take care of a woman is the direct duty of men, until you learn how to give birth yourself, you must help us at every step” and other outright female nonsense. If a man does not want to take care of a woman, love her and take care of her (without “should”, but of her own free will), then this is simply not his woman. Well, he doesn’t love her. And taking care of every one she meets, who, foaming at the mouth, requires help and care, just because nature has laid the functions of procreation in her, is simply not his problem.

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.