Do your homework… without stress

How to organize it?

Every day, children return home, loaded with everything that needs to be learned, done, written … The first question is the time to finally leave the school world and enter the home world, – explains the school psychologist Natalya Evsikova. – Children under 13 years of age need from 45 minutes to 2 hours for this (for lunch, games, including mobile ones). For now, put off talking about school: a child is unlikely to be able to switch if he has to answer questions about a math test right from the doorstep.

The golden rule is to turn homework into a daily ritual that takes place at a certain hour in the same place. These frameworks help streamline the learning process. “The best time to do homework is from 15:17 to 18:XNUMX–XNUMX:XNUMX,” says Doctor of Biology, Director of the Institute of Developmental Physiology of the Russian Academy of Education Mariana Bezrukikh. – What to do if it’s already late and the child hasn’t done something yet? Today – nothing: you just didn’t have time to do it. You can try to get back to the unfinished in the morning by getting up early or repeating the task on the way to school. But the duration of classes can be different: each child has his own rhythm; the volume of tasks also varies. “It is difficult for schoolchildren to do everything in one sitting,” continues Maryana Bezrukikh. – At 8-12 years old, the ideal time to work is half an hour without a break. Beyond this time it is difficult for children to concentrate.” Therefore, breaks are necessary – 5-10 minutes, during which the child can relax, change his position, and relieve eye strain. You can drink a glass of juice, eat an apple or a slice of chocolate.

Is an adult needed?

Yes, because without his presence it is still difficult for children to organize their work. “It takes them several years to learn how to work independently and manage their schedule,” says Natalia Evsikova. – Remaining with tasks one on one, the child runs the risk of “getting stuck” on one exercise, rereading the condition of the problem for half an hour without moving on … ”In addition, children need approval for what they have done. The presence of an adult (not necessarily a father or mother – it is important that this is a person whom the child trusts) calms them down and feeds self-confidence. If you don’t have the opportunity to be around every day, agree on rules for doing homework. For example, a child does reading and simple exercises on his own, and when you return from work, check what you have done and be there while he finishes the rest. “Do not force a child to rewrite everything if some unprincipled errors were found in the work,” warns Maryana Bezrukikh. “Just teach him how to correct them carefully in an already completed task.” In some families, it is customary to do all the work on a draft: parents check it in the evening, and closer to night, the half-asleep child rewrites the assignments cleanly. And, of course, he makes new mistakes. “There is nothing worse than stupid mechanical rewriting,” Natalya Evsikova is sure. – On a draft, you can practice writing individual letters and words, count in a column or solve a problem. But you don’t need, for example, to do the whole exercise in Russian in rough drafts, so that later you can copy it into a notebook.”

How to deal with the crisis?

If the two of you have been sitting over a notebook for an hour already, and the child still cannot not only learn, but even repeat the simplest rule; if you get irritated, can’t help it, lose your temper and raise your voice, it means that a crisis has come in your joint work on homework. In such a situation, do not insist on your own – do not shout and do not demand to repeat everything again and again. Just close your textbook or notebook and do something else – you can return to the assignments a little later or the next morning. “When parents get irritated and resentful all the time, homework runs the risk of becoming a source of general tension. As a result, children will experience a constant sense of guilt and may lose their desire to work altogether, because they will be afraid to disappoint us again,” explains Natalia Evsikova. If parents constantly feel impatient and lose their temper when helping their child with homework, it is worth delegating this daily responsibility to another adult, such as a student tutor or someone from relatives, it will be easier for them to keep the distance necessary for a working relationship.

Is it worth getting a tutor?

Today, more and more perfectionist parents seek to anticipate the learning problems of their children, and therefore turn to specialists in various subjects for help. Naturally, we are not talking about preparing for admission to the institute. Another perfectly legitimate reason to call a tutor is a really obvious backlog. “It is worth thinking about additional classes if the gaps in knowledge were noticed by the teacher,” says Natalya Evsikova. – Otherwise, the child may get the feeling that you are too worried (“So I’m not all right?”) And do not trust him. In such a situation, he feels constant anxiety, withdraws into himself. Only real needs justify the use of private lessons.” It is important to discuss with the child the idea of ​​additional classes so that he does not perceive them as a punishment: “I hope that at school, in regular lessons, it will become easier for you.”

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When can you “let go of the reins”?

Sooner or later in the life of every parent there must come a long-awaited moment when his child begins to independently do most of the homework. This means that he has already learned how to study, independently plan work and his time. But this moment comes for everyone in due time. How to define it? The only way is to be attentive to the individual rhythm of the child and in no case compare it with classmates. You can remember how he learned to walk: at first you helped him find his balance, supporting him with both hands, then one of your fingers began to grab him, and soon he decided to let go of him too. So it is with homework: independence is acquired gradually. First, start checking your homework every other day, then once every three to four days. “If a child manages to work independently, if he knows how to raise questions that allow him to advance in his reasoning, you no longer need to“ sit over the lessons ”with him,” says Maryana Bezrukikh. But parental presence and a benevolent view of the completed work—even though checking and discussing assignments occurs at least once a week—will still be necessary until about the age of 13. By this time, a certain stage can be considered completed: either your child has realized the goals of learning and has become independent, and then you can give him complete freedom, or he is rebelling against homework … and you will need to look for new ways to work together – in a group, along with with one of his friends, with an older brother or other relatives … In any case, after five or six years of joint work on homework, one can hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel … without forgetting, however, about his role as a parent, always attentive to success of your child.