The heart takes a run, you can clearly feel it beating from under the ribs. The blood pulses faster in the veins. Someone started a spark that burned the day for good, or at least the next few minutes. There will certainly be casualties, at least verbally.
We have good news. There are five steps that, taken together, will tame a tantrum.
5 steps to freeing yourself from anger
- It is impossible to stop the growing anger as long as it is denied. As long as you do not admit that the milk put on the gas is boiling, you will not put it aside. So, identify the nagging feeling, is it frustration, annoyance, or anger? By writing down the emotion on a piece of paper, you will gain a moment to cool down. The violence of emotions makes them fleeting. By making a note at your next outburst, you’ll be able to diagnose the unpleasant sensation more quickly.
- Now go to the second step. Feel it getting too warm as your blood pressure rises. Along with the dilation of the pupils, we feel a surge of strength, which is responsible for the release of adrenaline and the stress hormone. A moment should be enough to experience the typical tension. Don’t fight these feelings, don’t look for a reason, and don’t dig up the topic in any way. Focus your thoughts on the sensations. It turns out that anger passes quickly when we do not rummage at the source.
- The third step is complex, requires a change of perspective. Imagine that the situation does not concern you, evaluate it without a favorite as either the culprit or the victim. Take the other side’s perspective, explore their motives. When you draw conclusions, find confirmation or denial from the interlocutor. Thanks to this attitude, you will reach an agreement, instead of exacerbating an unpleasant situation. Relieve stress as soon as possible. Confide in a friend, set aside time for a walk or the gym. Life will not change just because we scold it with a stern look. Many situations happen independently of us and we have to accept them. Emotions are designed to help us get to know ourselves and motivate us to work on what lies within our capabilities.
- The time will finally come when you cool down and distance yourself to an event that caused an emotional storm. Analyze how the situation happened, your own reaction, the consequences and the possibility of avoiding it. Having discovered the flashpoint, you will have more influence over yourself when a similar situation occurs again.
- It’s high time for changes, both internally and externally. If we got angry at a loved one, we should reveal where this reaction came from and how we feel about it. A bit of distance and humor will help. Let’s always focus on honesty.