Do you need to step out of your comfort zone to be happy?

Probably, today there is not a single person who has not heard about the concept of “comfort zone”. We also constantly hear that everyone needs to get out of there urgently. We are told that this is the only way to live happily. But you can successfully grow and remain in familiar conditions.

What is within our comfort zone?

The comfort zone is an area of ​​living space within which a person feels confident, feels that he is safe. Confident – because he knows how he needs to act, because he repeats approximately the same actions. Safe – because a person imagines what awaits him in the future. In general, this can be described as a state of psychological security.

Accordingly, leaving the comfort zone means leaving the area of ​​uXNUMXbuXNUMXbconfidence and security in order to start something new.

When to plan an “escape”?

Before stepping out of your comfort zone, ask yourself: “Why would I destroy my sense of security and risk my psychological balance?”

You should also ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as possible:

• Do I understand why I do this?
• What is the need behind this?
• What do I want to end up with?

Don’t cut off your shoulder. Think: how can the people, events, thoughts that surround you now help you? The answers to these questions will help you not to devalue the past. And since experience is a part of our life, by devaluing it, we do the same with ourselves.

When exactly should you step out of your comfort zone?

If we constantly strive to get out of the comfort zone, and in different areas of life, over time it develops into a habit. We want change all the time, but for what it is not clear. It is important to determine the dominant goal towards which we are going.

If my client comes with the request “I want to change my life”, I always ask: “Why?” and “What is there in this future life that you don’t have now?” People tend to answer this question in a very general way. To make the request more specific, I ask: “What exactly do you want to change in your life?” And when answering, a person often understands that he does not need to leave his comfort zone, but simply expand it.

You should not leave this zone when life as a whole suits you, but you don’t like its individual moments. Just identify what specifically you are not satisfied with and work on those areas of your life.

One of my clients tried hard to win a girl’s heart. For him, it was a whole quest: to change himself, to attract her attention. But when he got his way, his brain quickly adapted to the new conditions. The man stopped appreciating what he and his beloved had already achieved in a relationship. He just got bored.

Very often we make the mistake of wanting to get out of our comfort zone just because we devalue the positive that we have. By radically changing our lives, we fall into the power of illusion: what we have now no longer pleases, and what we get supposedly promises us great happiness. And so we need to think only about small changes that we can initiate, and not about radical changes.

My client decided to supplement his relationship with a joint interesting hobby. Subsequently, they had a child with their chosen one, and the man looked at his woman the way he looked at her at the beginning of the relationship: with a loving look. He remembered why he had been seeking her for so long.

People constantly need “doping”: bright emotions, achieving goals, meeting new people, constant consumption of information, alcohol, sex, various challenges and challenges can play its role. But we get used to everything. And what was valuable yesterday, today is already becoming familiar, routine.

As a coach, I help my clients find their own internal “motor”, which does not depend solely on the presence or absence of such “doping”. We determine the key need at the moment and learn to satisfy it without violence against ourselves and the world.

Creating value instead of focusing on problems

In order not to get carried away by the obsessive pursuit of more and more stimuli, you need to ask yourself: “What am I already good at?”

Instead of asking, “How does this experience hinder me?” it is worth asking yourself the question “How can this experience help me?”.

Given our brain’s habit of devaluing past and experience, ask yourself a few questions:

• What is really important to me right now?
• How will the people, events, thoughts to which I am accustomed help me in satisfying my need?
• What else should I add to my life in order to actively move towards the goal?

If you can answer them, don’t step out of your comfort zone. A soft transformation and gradual movement towards goals will bring you much more benefit.

Live well now: how?

As a rule, leaving the comfort zone is associated with suffering. There is a belief that in order to enjoy, we first need to be patient and cry. To get something, you need to give something. We are persistently told this idea, but it is false.

Let’s look at ways that will help us be happy today, staying in the comfort zone and not “paying” with suffering.

1. Define a big goal: understand what your challenge is, what is the main task for the next 2-3 months.
2. Create a positive attitude. If we do something while suffering, then in the end nothing good will come of it. Therefore, before starting something new, try to create the right positive attitude in yourself.
3. Celebrate small wins. We are conditioned to live in frustration and dissatisfaction. But is it useful to live with the feeling that you obviously lost? If a person believes that he will be “well done” only when he earns a million, this will only put him on the needle of “achievement”. Look for the good today! If it’s hard for you to determine this yourself, ask your loved ones, friends, children: “What am I good at today?” The very search for answers can lead to happy transformations.
4. Compliment yourself and others. To experience a sincere feeling of gratitude for oneself means to experience it for the whole world. Work on noticing the positive traits in yourself and in others. It is important that your comfort zone is a friendly world.
5. Learn to have fun, pamper yourself. Ask yourself the question: “What gives me real physical pleasure? Maybe it’s raspberries and chocolate? Or maybe cold dew on your feet while jogging?

No matter how brilliant we may be, if we do not receive positive reinforcement on a physical level, our morale suffers. Become a hedonist. Enjoy your whole life, not just achievements.

Your whole journey is valuable. If you realize this and accept the past with gratitude, you simply will not have to leave your comfort zone.