Whoever we are, we all run the risk of forming a so-called toxic relationship. The American Psychiatric Association estimates that the general population could include up to 2,5% paranoid personalities.
I can only encourage you to take this eventuality seriously because the observation of psychiatrists is most often without appeal: the individual of which you may be a victim, with rare exceptions, will never change. It is therefore essential to know how to identify these people who are harmful to your well-being in order to act accordingly.
This is all the more necessary since it happens very often that one suffers from it without noticing it.
So, how do you spot toxic behavior? What are the signs that never lie? Here are three different cases of toxicity, which I consider among the most disturbing, described by the facts allowing to recognize them.
The paranoid personality
Its main characteristic is to suffer from a clearly excessive mistrust. People with this disorder are constantly persuaded that they are being persecuted by enemies.
For this reason, they usually interpret the behavior of others as malicious, sometimes even when they receive compliments.
As soon as paranoid people feel that they have been wronged, they tend to hold a grudge for a very long time. They may even take drastic measures to ease their resentment, such as taking legal action.
It is also noticeable that they have great difficulty in giving themselves up for fear of being betrayed, because for them no one is really worthy of their trust.
The consequences for you can be very embarrassing. Since his situation makes him withdraw into himself, the paranoid expects you to, too.
In addition, they find any pretext to start a conflict because they are able to perceive a conspiracy against them in all areas of life. Finally, their sickly jealousy will always make you a guilty person in their eyes, even if you spend most of your time with them.
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The narcissistic pervert
According to anthropologist Jean-Edouard Grésy, he is the most devastating personality for those around him. The origin of her discomfort comes from a very low self-esteem that she can only compensate by putting others down.
She always seems very sympathetic at first glance, as she exudes a bright and charismatic appearance thanks to a keen intelligence as well as excellent interpersonal skills.
One of the telltale behaviors is that they spend their time devaluing others while positioning themselves as the center of the world, more specifically one of the few people on earth who truly deserves to be around.
Those who become their loved ones often feel very dependent on them, as if these former were of value only through their supposed beneficence. Indeed, the narcissistic pervert alternates, both in public and in private, praise and reproach, his victim thus feeling guilty or indebted to him.
One of the unfortunate consequences for victims is that they find themselves isolated. Finally, in order to satisfy his ego, the narcissistic pervert instrumentalizes others without any concern for his happiness.
As self-esteem and self-perception are greatly influenced by the gaze of others, narcissistic perverts are extremely dangerous. From this point of view, I can only recommend fleeing them as soon as possible and without scruples.
It manifests itself through a succession of positive and then negative emotional states. It can connect euphoria, joy, elation then melancholy and sadness in a very short period of time. One of the first telltale signs may be a recurring trouble concentrating, his attention not being able to focus on a single activity.
He is often able to deploy immense energy for various and varied projects, to show you his affection for you or for his passions. We note in these moments an astonishing ability to speak very quickly.
Still in this so-called “positive” state, he manages to show real empathy, but also hyperactivity and hypersociability favored by a low need for sleep. But very quickly, this grace period can turn into a real relationship nightmare.
The unstable personality then becomes irritable, violent and sometimes inexplicably cold and unpleasant towards you. As for his dynamism, it disappears in favor of apathy leading him to inaction and to sleep for a very long time.
Once the negative phase has set in, dangerous behavior characterized by unconscious acts and gestures (spending without having the necessary money, addictions, no consideration of the consequences of one’s acts) can occur. Finally, we will note a propensity to have overflowing sexuality, often leading to the impossibility of being faithful, and a very strong ego.
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Conclusion: the common denominators of toxicity
Ultimately, many sufferings are common to different relationships with toxic personalities. First, it is important to note the importance of physical feeling. A toxic relationship causes a real fatigue of the body often going to the exhaustion.
If you lose your vitality, your appetite, your zest for life or increase your stress in a relationship, you need to reconsider. Second, finding yourself emotionally isolated is a sign that never deceives.
Toxic personalities will never stop claiming or making them feel that they alone are worth your time, and that you are wasting yours in contact with the rest of your entourage. Then the feeling of guilt always kicks in in the toxic relationship.
Indeed, you will always wonder what your fault will be, either because the toxic person will blame you forever, or because you will feel responsible for a situation making you unhappy. Another reliable indicator is the observation of the hold we can have over you.
A toxic personality is often able to trigger conflicting emotions in you, making you vulnerable, relatively submissive to their will. Finally, the measure of personal esteem is the surest proof.
We can observe it during a loss of self-confidence explained by a feeling of no longer being free or of no longer being able to assert oneself in the relationship in question.