Do women make men better?

Similar results are shown by studies conducted in the United States ***. Not only daughters, but also other female family members make us all, including men, more tolerant and attentive to people. Psychologist Paul Van Lange conducted an experiment in which participants, when playing board games, chose either options that met their own interests, or also took into account the interests of a game partner when choosing. It turned out that almost half of the selfless players had sisters. Van Lang’s previous research has also shown that the more sisters a father has, the more time he spends with his children. The researchers believe that the example of empathic, caring behavior, which sisters often demonstrate, unconsciously persuaded their brothers to do the same. “It is possible that the boys who have a sister turned on the natural impulse of the protector and patron, which was fixed in their subsequent life behavior and extended to other people,” says Professor Van Lang. “Women’s identity is built on likeness, because a woman is always thinking about something else,” says Jungian analyst Lev Khegai. ‒ She is a conformal and collective being, besides, nature programs her to think about the unborn child. Male identity is built on excellence – it is important for a man not to be like everyone else. Hence the great selfishness, pronounced individuality, aggressiveness, activity in experiments. And in families with sisters, boys are more likely to adopt female values ​​and suppress male ones. The more women in the family, the more likely it is that a man will be “castrated” by them.

Many men who are actively involved in philanthropy admit that their wives have become an incentive for them. Twenty years ago, when Bill Gates was just starting to build his empire, he rejected an offer to create a charitable foundation. At that time, he announced that he intended to wait at least fifteen years before starting any assistance programs, but he abruptly changed his intentions the very next year. And three years later, Mr. Gates was listed as the third most active philanthropist in America by Fortune magazine. What was the cause of this metamorphosis? During these years he married and had his first child. Girl. Gates himself openly admits that the two people closest to him – mother Mary and wife Melinda – were the catalysts for such a sharp turn in his interests. Mary gave a speech at her son’s wedding. “The main thing in it was a reminiscence from Voltaire, where it was said that great power implies equally great responsibility: from the one to whom much is given, much is expected,” the Microsoft founder recalls, adding that this was an important motherly parting word for him. No less actively influenced the charitable initiatives of her husband and Melinda, who not only takes part in their common projects, but also founded her own foundation – Giving Pledge.

Women start and… win

Obviously, femininity in the modern world has a stronger influence on men than masculinity. In part, it is psychologically beneficial for men to succumb to the influence of the female subculture. “In today’s highly urbanized culture, professing liberalism and consumerism, traditional masculine qualities are not in demand,” says Lev Khegay. ‒ Hard physical labor and aggressiveness required for a farmer and a warrior are no longer relevant. Success is determined, rather, by flexibility, creativity, emotional expressiveness (image) and communication skills – that is, qualities that are more inherent in female nature. It is not surprising that the role of women in all spheres has increased, and men, deprived of traditionally male occupations, are rapidly becoming feminized. It is no coincidence that daughters in a symbolic competition for the degree of influence on their father “defeat” sons. In ancient, traditionally agrarian societies, boys were perceived as a workforce, protectors and heirs, and were preferred. In modern Western society, the situation is the opposite. “Society encourages the early separation of young men from the family and the opposition of their interests to the values ​​of their fathers in an attempt to express their own individuality,” says Lev Khegay. “Therefore, fathers have more problems with boys. Girls are now also perceived as a labor resource, and even more reliable. They are more expected to support in old age, as they are aimed at maintaining relationships and conservative values. Perhaps this is also why fathers associate the birth of a girl with well-being and security, which allows them to relax and “be kinder”.