Despite the abundance of information, we still have a lot of prejudices that can complicate intimate life. Sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc analyzes one of these popular opinions every month.
“Indeed, many men like it: after all, all the attention of a woman is focused on their penis. She caresses him with her mouth and hands, and many are deeply touched by this. Pleasure is born not only from the excitation of nerve endings, but also from the fantasies of a man: he finds himself in the position of a breadwinner who gives seed — an image from early childhood, when he, as an infant, was delighted with the omnipotence of his mother’s breast. The view of a woman in a submissive position also adds excitement — a classic porn plot … All together it explains the pleasure that many men get from this sexual game. Many, but not all, for the same reasons, oral sex can cause them anxiety.
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The fear of castration prevents someone from getting pleasure: is it not dangerous to leave your penis to the mercy of a woman whose mouth is full of teeth? (Although women cannot imagine such a thing, even in a situation of violence …) It is not easier to open yourself to the gaze of a partner. To some, their penis seems too small or thin, and therefore they prefer penetration, which can avoid a critical female gaze and possible comparisons. Oral contact, as a rule, leads to an erection, but its quality can cause feelings in a man — all the more acute because it is commonly believed that in such a situation it should automatically be excellent! Of particular concern is this form of sex in men with premature ejaculation: they find themselves in a passive position, while the woman, on the contrary, becomes the mistress of the situation, which makes the man worry … and accelerates ejaculation. Finally, some see their sperm as something unclean, which makes them feel guilty and interferes with their enjoyment.
So there are at least as many reasons to dislike oral sex as there are reasons to love it.”