When creating a family, no one dreams of the day when they will again receive the status of a free or single woman. But he has a lot of advantages, which become obvious to those who have an unsuccessful experience of family life. How to find them if you are still feeling bad? Narrated by coach Lisa Caldwell.
If you are now on the verge of a divorce or have just got a stamp in your passport stating the end of family life, you are unlikely to have fun. Most likely, you are overwhelmed by thoughts of loneliness and domestic problems that will have to be solved without the help of your husband, and you do not see anything good in the situation. But your attitude will change. Sooner or later, looking back, you will see how far you have come. And you will understand that this terrible “lonely” life turned out to be not so terrible. It comes with all sorts of bonuses.
1. The drama is over. You can finally breathe a sigh of relief. Papers signed, decisions made. A new life has already begun. And in it, you don’t have to think about the upcoming divorce every second, because it’s already over.
2. A bed is at your disposal. You can lie down in the middle with your arms and legs spread out, no one will ask you to move. You can sleep across and diagonally. If the ex-husband snored, you can enjoy the silence. Did he leave food crumbs in the bed? Now he won’t leave, but you can, and no one will condemn you for this. Buy new sheets, comfy pillows, crawl under the covers, and turn on that movie he didn’t want to watch.
3. Shaving your legs is no longer necessary. Of course, some do not do this even in marriage, and some do it for themselves. But for those who are accustomed to constant hair removal for the sake of a husband, the era of freedom from razors, wax, melted sugar and expensive salons has come. This freedom is not limited to epilation. What else have you done or not done for your husband? He forbade getting tattoos, go and get it. Asked you to wear long hair? Time to cut your hair or shave your temple. Did he hate your favorite varsity shirt? Wear it every day. You can no longer take into account his opinion, only what you want is important.
4. «What’s for dinner?» Nothing or whatever. You can cook whatever you want, you can not cook, order a pizza, buy instant noodles or eat chips from a can while sitting on the couch before the series. No one will once again bother with the question: «Honey, what’s for dinner tonight?»
5. Time without children. If you have children, of course you love them. But would you give up a couple of evenings (or days) a week when you can be alone and do whatever you want? It is likely that at first it will be difficult for you to even think that the children will go to their father for the whole evening or for the weekend. But soon you will not only get used to it, but will rejoice at the opportunity to do your own thing.
6. Dates. When you are mentally prepared for this, enjoy dating. It’s like being a teenager again. You meet someone you like and talk about them to your friends non-stop, jumping up and down from their messages and talking all night long. It is not necessary to consider a new acquaintance for the role of a future husband. You can enjoy communication without getting hung up on where it will take you.
7. The ability to twist the nest again. It doesn’t matter if you move to a new apartment or stay in your old one. In any case, you need to change something in the environment. Repaint the walls, paste new wallpaper, buy bright curtains. Even if there is no money for changes, you can change the situation a little bit by buying little things at sales that will cheer you up.
8. The order in the house depends only on you. Are you used to cleaning up every speck of dust, and by the time your friends arrive, bring the apartment into such a look as if it had just been shot in fashionable interiors? Are you sure that it was your «trouble», and not your ex-husband? Many people realize that they don’t care as much about a glass on a bookshelf or a T-shirt hanging on the back of a chair, and they breathe a sigh of relief. If you were the fighter for perfect cleanliness, you still have a reason to rejoice: no one but you will encroach on the sparkling surface of the stove and the perfectly clean mirror in the bathroom.
9. Finances are up to you. Many women are frightened by the need to support themselves, deal with bills and payments. But this is an extremely valuable experience that will make you a more independent person. You will learn everything and then you will be happy with it all. It is likely that you will deal with finances no worse than the former. Or even much better. Once you take responsibility for yourself, you will not want to give it to someone else, because it gives a feeling of strength and independence.
10. New happiness awaits you. It takes a long time to restore peace of mind after a divorce. Sometimes the process takes years. You can speed it up or slow it down, but sooner or later you will be fine again, feel happy again — as much as you could not imagine, especially on the day you divorced. You realize what you want from life and what you don’t want. You will be at the helm again.
This heady feeling will stick to you forever. And this is the biggest plus of divorce that you had to endure.