Divorce: classic custody of children

How is custody of the children determined?

The terms of the frequency of the visitation and accommodation rights of the other parent are not fixed by law: they are considered on a case-by-case basis depending on the age of the child, the place of residence of the parents, etc. In general, the rhythm adopted is as follows: the child lives during the week with the parent who has been entrusted with the main residence and spends every other weekend as well as half of the short and long school holidays with his other parent. However, the father and mother are free to provide for extended shared custody which includes, for example, one or two additional evenings in the week when they agree. By means of a written agreement, at the time of the divorce, the parents first of all agree on the choice of the childcare system. They then submit this agreement to the family court judge of the high court who ratifies it, if he considers that it fully respects the interests of the child. If this is not the case, he can decide on different modalities concerning the right of visit and accommodation or grant the main residence of the child to the father rather than to the mother and vice versa, or even impose joint custody. .

If the parents do not agree on the choice of custody and its terms, it is the judge who will fix them. “The decision to grant custody of the child to the mother is most often justified by the young age of the children or by their maternal care needs”, explains Violette Gorny, lawyer.

The advantages of a primary residence

It offers stability of place to the child insofar as he lives in the same place most of the time. This therefore allows him to have well-established benchmarks, especially when he is small.

This system also requires a less cumbersome organization and a financial cost much lower than any other childcare system. “My daughter is 2 years old and I would have liked to have had her at home every other week. But for her comfort, I would have had to find an apartment where I could receive her full time, hire a babysitter, in short, make additional expenses that I cannot currently afford. So I accepted shared custody, ”says Nicolas. It is suitable for the youngest children, that is, to the little ones who still need maternal care. This is in any case the opinion of Claire Brisset, the children’s advocate, and Maurice Berger, head of the child psychiatry department at the Saint-Etienne University Hospital.

The disadvantages of classic custody

First of all, there is the fact of seeing one of his parents less which can create a lack in the child. and sometimes a feeling of guilt. For his part, the parent who only benefits from a right of visitation and accommodation, most often the father, may be in distress because he feels excluded from the relationship with his child. This is why, when the relationship between the parents allows it, they provide for alternating custody which is not limited only to weekends and half of the holidays but closer visits to avoid difficulties on both sides. The other drawback comes from the fact that the father is too far behind. It is the shrinks who affirm it. Stéphane Clerget (author of “Let’s separate but protect our children”) thinks that the little one needs his father as much as his mother. And Daniel Marcelli (child psychiatrist at the Poitiers University Hospital) praises the virtues of paternage.