Discussion about parenting: male and female approach

Oleg Zabalenny

A child is not the center of the universe, around which everyone is obliged to revolve, each child must know his place in the family, at school, in life, and the sooner he understands and realizes this, the easier and better he will live . No one forcibly determines a place for him, each person takes the place that he deserves (although not always), or that he aspires to.

I would like to say about something else: the approaches to education for a man and a woman are very different from each other. Women are softer, kinder, more compassionate, they do not understand that with their gentleness, kindness and pity, in many cases they themselves give children a reason to be, to put it mildly, not very good. And it has long been noticed that when a child is left alone with his dad, he behaves in a completely different way. And in very many cases, they love fathers who spend much less time with children than mothers, which of course is often offensive to any mother.

Ksenia Rudenko

A child is the Center of the Universe for any parent. This is what love is! I also disagree about the gender difference of educators.

You remind me in your judgments of my mother-in-law, who tries to tell a half-year-old baby in a strict tone, “What is discipline?” :-):-):-).

First of all, the child needs to be understood, there will be an understanding — there will be an understanding of why he behaves this way, and not otherwise — a way out of the situation will be found.

Oleg Zabalenny

The child is the center of the universe only for the mother, and then on the condition that she has one, and when there are ten of them … I think there is no need to explain further.

The point is not the gender difference of the educators, but the approach: a man is the mind and logic, a woman is feelings and emotions and no logic.

You are lucky, your mother-in-law is a very wise woman. And if she takes part in the upbringing of your child, it will only get better for him. So it’s in your best interest not to interfere with her.

To understand the child, not to punish the child, to sympathize with the child, to empathize with the child — how then will he get the concept of what is possible and what is not, what is good and what is bad? I adhere to the Spartan way of upbringing: to blame — get it without any pity; threw a tantrum — get in return such that you order your grandchildren how to throw tantrums to their parents. And when such a child grows up, he will only say thank you.

And all the compassionate mothers who cherish their children and kiss them you know where, in old age, especially when they are left without a husband, at best they are abandoned, at worst they are beaten by their children with taking away their pension and drinking away their mother’s things.

Ksenia Rudenko

Ok, men and women have different parenting styles (although, in principle, there are women with a masculine parenting style and there are men with a female (or in general, with no!!! style)). But is the result different too? And what about the fact that women are process workers and it is more important for them that the child is safe and sound. Without this, the “final result of upbringing” (more like authoritarianism: sho conceived will be!), which is determined by the father in his style, does not make sense. Unfortunately or fortunately!

But the mother rejoices that her baby simply is what he is, and the father often complains that something is wrong in the child: “it’s not grown up, it was planned!”

Oleg Zabalenny

Quote: But the mother rejoices that her baby simply is what he is, and the father often complains that something is wrong in the child: “it’s not grown up, it’s what he thought!”

Comment: A woman’s son became an alcoholic, drug addict or gay. And she, like a mother, rejoices that he is such. Excuse such joy, I not only do not understand, but do not accept. And the father complains. It is not necessary to complain, but to act like Taras Bulba with his son.

Vyacheslav Ozerov

Surprisingly, the men participating in the comments say: “if the child is in normal conditions, then the question of hysteria is simply not worth it” or “create such conditions that the child’s tantrums bring inconvenience at best, at worst bring wild displeasure …”, and women who know how “with their loving, tender hands” (Ms. Vlasova, in a comment on the article “about warm conditions”) are able to raise a child, so that he beats in hysterics.

But why does a child, being alone with his father, usually not use tantrums with his grandfather, but with loving and other “protective” hands, he falls into them?

Maybe lovely women, at least answer yourself? And it may be enough to show that only you know better than anyone how to educate, and if a man “acts not in my opinion,” then “we ourselves will live.”

Sergey Rusich

Singing bird, if this “personality” is not brought up fearing to injure and suppress it, then a hysterical and selfish creature will grow up, which will then sit on the neck of the parents until the end of their days. There are countless examples. Deal and secret in the right proportion. And also in the methods of influence and influence. You write about children and grandchildren. And I am writing about tens of thousands of individuals who have gone through the crucible of male education. And if before they were “creative” individuals, who were only enough to feel sorry for themselves and throw a tantrum, then by the end of their upbringing they were already completely self-sufficient people capable of solving not only their own problems, but also understanding other people.

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.