Disarming Phrases: How to Win an Argument

Psychologist Vadim Petrovsky and journalist Alexei Khodorych offer «1500 ways to win an argument» with the help of ambiguous encode phrases that will help improve communication. They can also become a means for elegant trolling — both offensive and defensive weapons. This is the third edition about encodes — phrases that discourage the interlocutor, which anyone can take out of their sleeves in time, like a joker.

“Have you ever seen how heat traps are dropped from an airplane? The sight is mesmerizing. In hot spots, they work as decoys for missiles attacking civilian aircraft. Same with encoders. Sometimes they resemble heat traps that send a sparring partner on the wrong track, ”the authors explain.

Encodes — from English encode — «encode». They allow you to play while talking, or talk playfully. They can be used to block and seize the initiative, to communicate, to create a pleasant atmosphere or a comic effect. If you get a taste, you can supplement the multi-page encyclopedia with your own options.

“In an ideal encode, several meanings are encoded. More precisely, the interlocutor should think so. The ambiguity of interpretation is really important.” And the context in which the encode is pronounced is important.

Aerobatics, the authors write, is to learn at least a dozen of the 1500 encodes they found in films, books, in ordinary chatter and summarized in a large table at the end of the book, and shine in conversation. Or to start with a couple, for example: “What part of the word “no” do you not understand?” Or: “Think! What would we do if we had brains?

The phenomenon of encodes is directly related to psycholinguistics — the science of the laws of generation and perception of speech utterances, the authors say. Enkod is a special kind of psychological game where there are no losers. Both parties often enjoy this verbal duel. At a minimum, it is received by the interlocutor who lures and attacks another. Encode gives the opponent the opportunity to complete the given hint to the finished image.

Completing and conjecturing, the opponent manifests himself, which was required. All people are different, and everyone will have their own encode. It is not necessary to memorize them all. The main thing is to understand the algorithm of their construction and operation.

Here are a few phrases that will put any nerd or insolent in their place, help to “suspend” a discussion that has gone the wrong way, defuse the situation. The context for them is up to you.

• “It’s very hard not to understand the language you think in, right?”
• «Rephrase the question, it’s important to me!»
• “Sometimes the hunter and prey switch places… Do you understand what I mean?”
• “Sorry for the question, but is Russian native to you?”
• «I won’t stop you from making your mistakes!»
• «Don’t flatter — it doesn’t suit you.»
• «You don’t have to hide your head in the sand in the midst of discussional fervor.»
• “It is not the attention that is important, it is important how much the gift costs.”
• «We all know who I am.»
• “And people like us can’t get away with it, right?”
• «You’re not in the shape to make the right decision right now, you’ve been beaten up.»
• «You seem to be waiting for good news?»
• «I’ll do it when the time is right.»
• «What if we call today ‘Relax Monday’?»
• «Steamed turnip is even wiser.»
• «A father-to-be should not have such thoughts.»
• «I wanted to make sure you really don’t care.»
• «People, like bread, only get stale with time.»
• “If stupidity does not fit in the head, it will surely break out.”
• “You look at a person and you think — the Vatican, but take a closer look — yes, he’s Las Vegas!”
• “Everything passes quickly, it just drags on sometimes.”
• “And this idea is infused with Viagra!”
• «Didn’t your mom tell you?»
• «Now it’s your turn to think.»
• “You ask a simple question, and they look like you have slaughtered an entire village.”
• «Confucius foresaw everything, but not this.»
• «Lies are dreams caught in the act.»

Source: V. Petrovsky, A. Khodorych «Ideal Argument» (Eksmo, 2018).