We meet new people every day. Some become part of our lives, others pass by. Sometimes even a fleeting meeting can leave an unpleasant mark. To avoid this, you need to establish the rules of the game from the very beginning. We asked actress Dina Korzun, directors Eduard Boyakov and Pavel Lungin to remember one phrase that describes their relationship with others.
Eduard Boyakov, director
«No one is your friend, no one is your enemy, but every person is your teacher»
“At first I saw this phrase in the book “Two Lives” by Konkordia Antarova, later my Indian teacher quoted it, then I found similar formulas in Sufi and Christian literature. Since then, this idea has taken root in my mind and allowed me to look at many things differently.
Let’s say there was a person in my life whose tastes and opinion I valued very much. We quarreled a lot, and I stopped perceiving his films and books: resentment obscured professional honesty. And this phrase helped to correct the situation: I again saw an artist in him and do not feel resentment. Teachers are sent to us to impart knowledge: I mean, of course, love, not a collection of information. The teacher is the one in whose actions one should look for love. The teacher and the driver who cut us off on the road are our teachers in equal measure. And we need both.»
Dina Korzun, actress
“Take away from others the right to decide who you are”
“This is a phrase from a parable in which the student asks the teacher:
“Master, you said that if I knew who I was, I would become wise, but how can I do that?
“First, take away from people the right to decide who you are.
How is it, Master?
— One will tell you that you are bad, you will believe him and be upset. Another will tell you that you are good, and you will be delighted. You are praised or scolded, trusted or betrayed. As long as they have the right to decide who or what you are, you will not find yourself. Take that right away from them. Me too…
This rule defines my life. I remember it almost every day and remind it to my children. It happens that my cup of feelings is out of balance because of what others have said about me. Praised? Pleasant immediately. Scolded? Paint in the face, bad mood … And I say to myself: “Wake up! Have you changed from their praise or bad opinion? Not! With what motives you went along your path, with such you go. Even if you are a pure angel, there will still be people who will not like the rustle of your wings.
Pavel Lungin, director, screenwriter
“Do you know the difference between a good and a bad person? A good person does meanness reluctantly»
“This is a phrase from the book by Vasily Grossman “Life and Fate”, which I read, re-read and dream of making a movie based on, because for me this is a great Russian novel of the XNUMXth century. I don’t believe in perfect people. And that man is a friend and brother, or teacher to man. Lies … For me, every person I meet is not good or bad. This is a playmate. And I offer him improvisation, with elements of humor. If we find this common game with him, then love can turn out.