Contents
Many of us are used to living in a mixed reality. But sometimes we dive too deep into the virtual world. How to notice this and how to tell yourself “stop”?
We experience information overload in very different ways. “It seems to me that a whole waterfall of news has formed around. They appear on all sites, as if in ambush, they wait in social networks, they come in the form of mailings. I feel absolute helplessness, I can’t change it,” Vyacheslav, 43, shares his concern.
“Lately, I started to forget important information, it seems that the storage in my head is full and can no longer accommodate all the new posts and stories with unnecessary content. I have several social networks on my smartphone, and the morning begins with viewing all the feeds. The paradox is that I’m afraid to miss something important. The ritual of browsing social networks is repeated in the evening, ”admits 27-year-old Valentina.
Not only adults, but also children disappear for hours in social networks, instant messengers, and this worries many parents. There are reasons for concern. “An overabundance of information affects our psyche, and this is just the tip of the iceberg,” warns psychotherapist, doctor of psychology and candidate of medical sciences Mark Sandomirsky. – Much more important is what is “under water”, hidden from view.
The network has become a kind of magnet for users
And it is no longer clear who “uses” whom: the Network exists for us or we for the Network. In addition, another serious problem of modern life is superimposed on the problem of information overload – infantilism: we run away from real difficulties and plunge very deeply into online, this is how network addiction appears.
We can no longer rest without gadgets, we lose friends and spin on the carousel of the eternal show, not paying attention to our needs, anxieties, not planning the future. Each of these problems has a solution recommended by psychotherapists.
1. Diagnose
Why?
Internet addiction appears imperceptibly. “At first, we get into the habit of regularly using online content: we start new social networks, download games, updates. Then we become tolerant of information, – Mark Sandomiersky notes.
There are signs of withdrawal: if we are deprived of communication for a short time (for example, in the country the Internet does not catch well), then we feel emotional and physical discomfort. These are the prerequisites for Internet addiction. The problem begins when we face social harm. Excessive immersion in the Internet distracts, interferes with a career, communication with loved ones.
How?
From time to time check how free you are from addiction. If you’re spending more time online than you’d like, follow the practices below.
Result
You will take preventive measures against Internet addiction. And if you find that you are already addicted, contact a psychotherapist.
2. Listen to yourself in silence
Why?
Social networks are actively competing for our attention and inventing new ways to engage users, taking more and more time and energy.
“On the Web, we go into a regression state, behave like children, make insufficiently responsible and adaptive decisions, for example, we make impulsive purchases,” explains Mark Sandomirsky. “As a result, we feel deceived, angry at ourselves.”
How?
Relaxation will help relieve psycho-emotional tension. One of its varieties is inner silence. Arrange an hour or two of silence. And this is not only external silence, but also internal, silence within oneself.
Try to stop the endless relay race of thoughts. This turns on a protective, natural mechanism that helps relieve congestion – regression, immersion in a childish state.
Result
Silence will help you return to a natural, eco-friendly way of thinking.
3. Plan a Gadget-Free Vacation
Why?
Let’s do a little experiment: take a look at your smartphone settings right now and estimate how many hours a day you spend immersing yourself in the gadget. Add to this the time at the computer and TV.
Surprised? We spend quite a lot of time working on the Web and, moreover, we experience the illusion that we can relax with it. We are gradually replacing other activities with gadgets. But the brain, vision, spine at this time do not rest at all, and the recovery time is reduced.
We are constrained by hypodynamism: after all, it is impossible to be on the phone and dance tango or swim in the pool at the same time. We have completely forgotten how to relax without gadgets, and the brain works non-stop.
How?
Plan your vacation in advance. “Come up with ten ways that will become relaxing for you,” suggests a medical psychologist, psychotherapist Irina Tyuryapina, “for someone it will be a bath, for someone it will be hot tea with raspberries.
When the list is ready, post this tip on the back of your smartphone as an alternative to social media or online games. The reverse side of the gadget will serve as a cheat sheet, tell you what to do when you relax.
Plan detox hours: time without your phone (e.g. at dinner). And take small breaks while you work, five minutes after every hour.” In information overload, rest will not happen by itself if we do not take care of it in advance.
Result
With the help of tips and rituals, we will create and strengthen the good habit of relaxing offline.
4. Maintain and increase personal contacts
Why?
Gadget and social networks are a way to get away from a living relationship. “As a leader of psychotherapeutic groups, I was convinced of this more than once,” says Irina Tyuryapina. “You can’t use phones in groups, and this is a real shock for the participants.
Someone says that he cannot “leave unattended” even for a couple of hours a business, and someone – children. Participants do not let go of the smartphone even to chat with people in the place where they came. This is how real relationships are replaced by virtual ones.
Many of us slip a tablet to a child instead of talking to him, watch a series instead of discussing with family members what worries them. But unresolved problems do not go away, but accumulate.
How?
Replace part of the virtual communication with loved ones and colleagues with the real one. Remember the last time you met with friends, discussed interesting topics, when you were good and fun together? Put down your smartphone and start doing it.
For example, start a tradition in your family to communicate every evening without gadgets. It will be 20-30 minutes when the whole family (and it is very important that not only children, but also parents observe this) puts down their phones and talks to each other.
Result
Maintaining social contacts will help reduce the level of digital intoxication, and live communication will energize.
5. Think Critically
Why?
Each of us has a “built-in error detector”. It works automatically when we are faced with an overabundance of information, negativity or various kinds of manipulation. But the network lifestyle reduces the criticality in the perception of information.
We do not notice our own emotions, we fence ourselves off from feelings. Natural mechanisms go astray. In addition, from time to time we are attacked by trolls, we feel envy, aggression from other users.
How?
Think about psychosomatic intelligence and turn on the filters of an emotionally healthy attitude to information. “Think about how emotions affect your health,” insists Mark Sandomierzsky. “Start with awareness of simple emotions: joy, sadness, anger, fear, resentment, disgust. They are easier to recognize.
Ask yourself questions: what emotions does viewing the social network feed evoke in me? What do I experience when I win or lose in an online game? Determine the source of your emotional state: what or who causes positive and negative emotions?
Count the severity of emotions on a scale of one to five, from the strongest to the weakest. You can keep records, fixing the time, emotion, its strength and the reason for its occurrence. Note what you were doing on the Web at that moment: playing, chatting, reading the news.
Result
Analysis of the records will help determine what content will remain in your “daily menu” and what is harmful to psycho-emotional health.
6. Think about your desires
Why?
Each of us has a personal relationship with our smartphone. It has some important individual meaning and covers our various needs. He can replace a friend, a nanny for a child, an interesting, attentive interlocutor. Act as an “anti-anxiety” means: with its help, you can not think about problems, fears, about the future, and even about your desires.
But with digital intoxication, excessive, sometimes almost round-the-clock, communication with a gadget leads to depression, insomnia, and low self-esteem. Why does low self-esteem occur? Because the Web is a show, it doesn’t correspond to real life. The network creates an illusion that hits hard on our self-esteem.
The girl flips through the posts of her peers and thinks: “How is it, three children and such a figure, how is this possible?” Or: “Why didn’t I make my first million at 23? Every second person does it.”
How?
How to switch the focus of attention from watching shows on the Web to yourself? “For starters, it’s useful to spend one day alone with yourself and think about how to realize your desires,” says Irina Tyuryapina. “Ask yourself: what am I missing?” Think about childhood and youthful dreams. Think about what is currently taking up the time of your life.
Result
You can use your time to enjoy life more.