Making love is essential in a relationship. But for a fulfilling sex life, you still need desire. Men and women are not always in tune when it comes to libido, and time dulls sexual desire. However, simple solutions make it possible to stimulate and maintain it, for a pleasure that is always intact.

To love his companion without desiring him

Being in love is about feeling, and love can be based on reason. A woman can love her spouse for what he objectively represents – stability, security, confidence – and for his qualities as a good father, for example. In contrast, desire, like a sexual drive, appeals to instinct: it is uncontrollable and irrational.

When sexual desire rhymes with love, the couple has every chance to last. But it’s rare to desire your mate over time like in the early days of a relationship, and love sometimes lasts without desire. Under these conditions, it turns out to be difficult to maintain a fulfilling sex life and some couples separate for this reason, when others decide to take a lover.

Sexual desire wanes over time

Where love strengthens, desire diminishes. Over the years, the couple get to know each other and observe each other in various situations that can strengthen their feelings. Conversely, “everything that is reached is destroyed”: once the woman gets what she wants from the coveted man, she sometimes no longer feels sexual desire for him.

Enemy of desire, routine takes hold in most romantic relationships. For lack of passion and novelty, sexual desire disappears little by little, sometimes to the extreme: some women even find their companion repelling after a while, while continuing to love him. It is also possible to always find your companion attractive, to admit his physical qualities and for all that cease to desire him.

Libido and sex drive are often more important in men than in women. If this creates a gap in the couple, a source of criticism from one to the other, this state of affairs is inevitable: the man and the woman do not apprehend the desire under the same conditions.

In men, desire arises mainly from the visual: he looks at buttocks, breasts or bare legs, and this single vision makes him want to make love. In women, the libido is stimulated more by the other senses: hearing and smell in particular. Sexual desire also sometimes takes on an intellectual dimension in women. This partly explains the drop in libido observed in women: they need more than men to arouse their sexual desire. Some need to be in a very specific context to want to make love, when most men are satisfied with an evocative image.

Jealousy to boost libido

In the opinion of some, jealousy is enough to rekindle sexual desire. A focused look, an evocative gesture or a compliment addressed to a member of the couple arouses in the other the desire to assert his “property”, to possess his companion. Sometimes even, infidelity makes it possible to regain one’s sexual appetite: by making love with another, the desire returns and the desire is reborn in the couple.

Evoking your sexual fantasies

A less risky alternative for the couple, realizing – or even evoking – their fantasies gives rise to desire. By indulging in new practices, the attraction for the other is stronger simply because of the novelty. Talking about her fantasies is also beneficial to sexual desire: words with a sexual connotation titillate and can generate strong impulses – especially in women whose libido is largely stimulated by hearing.

Aphrodisiacs and sexy lingerie to lead to desire

Other simple tips can lead to sexual desire at any stage of the relationship. The use of aphrodisiacs, naughty underwear to stimulate desire in men, sexting or subtle caresses on the erogenous zones promote the sexual climate. And to maintain the desire throughout the duration of the act, the couple can try unusual places or positions, extend the foreplay or even use sex toys.