In this situation, a loved one replaces the whole world. Why – scientists explain.
When we often move, a partner becomes a particularly close and significant person for us. This conclusion was reached by researchers from several universities in Turkey, whose article In the magazine Social Psychological and Personality Science.
The authors of the publication conducted three studies designed to show how the lack of a stable place of residence affects long-term romantic relationships and the perception of one’s partner. A total of 5366 people aged 18 to 95 participated in all three studies.
In the first of these studies, researchers analyzed data from a survey on life satisfaction, which has been conducted annually in Turkey since 2003. Among other things, survey participants indicated whether they live in the same place where they were born, and who they trust more in matters of work, finances and health – a husband or wife, or other relatives or friends.
It turned out that people who have moved are more likely to trust their partner in important matters, rather than friends or relatives.
In the second study, volunteers in long-term romantic relationships were first asked to describe how often they moved in their lives, changing neighborhoods, cities, and countries. Then the participants had to think and make four lists: who they often communicate with, who they turn to when they need help, who is a “safe harbor” for them and always stands behind them, and who they miss when they are apart. Each of the lists had to indicate four people who play a role in their lives, distributing them in descending order of importance. And again it turned out that for those who often moved, the most central figure in life is their partner – it was his or her name that they put first on all four lists.
Participants in the final study also first indicated how often they changed their place of residence during their lifetime. They then had to evaluate how empathetic and responsive their romantic partner is, whether he or she is ready to listen and understand them. Participants also rated on a scale of 1 to 7 how satisfied they were with their lives in general, and in the last six months in particular.
At the end, the participants were tested on the “level of happiness” – how free they feel, to what extent they are able to manage their own lives, what is the level of their personal growth, whether they feel that there is a purpose in their life, and how much they accept themselves.
As a result, it turned out that for all people, the degree of sensitivity and responsiveness of a loved one plays a significant role in whether they are happy and satisfied with their lives. But for people who move frequently, this quality of a partner is simply of great importance.
Their personal sense of happiness is much more dependent on the attitude of their husband or wife towards them than people who live in one place all their lives.
This once again shows that those who do not have stability in their place of residence subconsciously perceive their partner as an emotional foothold, assigning him or her a central role in their lives, the authors of the study write.
In addition, they note frequent moving affects the circle of contacts, social connections and the style of communication of a person – he becomes more independent and picky in choosing friends and acquaintances. And contacts with them can be more superficial than in a situation where the place of residence does not change throughout life. All this contributes to the fact that it is the relationship with your loved one that becomes the closest and deepest.