Declaration of Acceptance of Reality

There is a philosophy of development, there is a philosophy of psychological protection. A declaration of acceptance of reality is a way of protection, an inoculation against pain. The vaccination itself can be painful, but by doing it, you will protect yourself from spiritual wounds and deep pain …

Working with beliefs in the cognitive-behavioral approach of A. Ellis is, for the most part, convincing clients that no one owes them anything, did not promise them, and they have no one to be offended by. «Why did the world take my son from me?» — «And where did you get that your son will always be with you?» «But that’s not fair, is it?» “And who promised you that the world is fair?” — such dialogues are played from time to time, changing only their content.

Irrational beliefs are often formed already in childhood and are manifested by inadequate demands on oneself, others and the world around. They are often based on narcissism or a grandeur complex. Ellis (Ellis and Harper, 1979) describes these belief-demands as three basic «Must»: «I must: (succeed in business, get the approval of others, etc.)», «You must: (treat me well , love me, etc.)”, “The world should: (give me quickly and easily what I want, be fair to me, etc.)”.

At the same time, it is known that it is a little late to carry out such work with irrational beliefs in situations when life has already hit, when the soul already hurts. It is more effective and less painful to carry out such work prophylactically and comprehensively, not for each specific occasion, but for all situations of this circle as a whole. The Declaration of Acceptance of Reality is a list of counter-beliefs that any healthy person should consider in advance in order to be ready for them in case of life blows.

It is wrong to think that the Declaration, as a protection from spiritual wounds and pain, is needed only by weak people. The most famous athletes, Olympic champions — people who know how to take a punch — but they also needed certain options for similar work. Weak people are hurt by a weak blow, but even strong people receive blows of such force that additional means of protection are useful.

When the protection has taken place, when your soul is safe, we move on to another situation where it is already wrong to remain on the defensive: it’s time to move forward, look for opportunities to become strong in order to make the world more beautiful and kinder. So,

Declaration of Acceptance of Reality

The world is not fair and has never made a commitment to be fair. No matter how worthily I live, at any second I can lose everything that is dear to me. The world is so arranged: personally, he does not care about me. But I can take care of the world. If I am fair, justice will appear in my environment, and I will try to make it more every day.

The world is not kind and never promised me happiness. I can suddenly become seriously ill, become disabled, face near death — this is natural. I may not have my own children, I may suddenly lose children, and no matter how much I earn, at any moment life can take it away from me. The world can take everything from me. But I am grateful to the world that I was born into this world and that I was given so much here … And if I make someone happy, help someone, I will at least make this world a better place for someone. For me, happiness is when I can give this world beauty and joy.

I know that I make mistakes, for which I myself and those dear to me pay the price. I am not perfect and I will never be able to fully become it. It’s okay, it’s not scary! If I do not worry about my imperfection, but study and grow smarter, there will be less harm from me and more good. Work!

I know that people often turn out to be selfish, aggressive, stupid, uneducated, lazy, dishonest, ungrateful, etc., and I choose to take it for granted, as I accept winter and cold, spring and dirt. They are. If I want to make people better, I can start with myself: make myself a worthy person.

I will treat with inner understanding the fact that everyone, including a person close to me, can lie to me or break the word given to me, can harm me, including intentionally — he is just a person with his weaknesses, stupidities and sometimes desire take revenge. As I.

I don’t blame my mother-in-law, my parents, siblings, my husband’s first wife, or anyone else. They act in their own interests, and no one promised me that they would look after my interests. Nobody promised me that these people would be what I want them to be. I choose to live with a light heart, putting aside the desire to change someone and forgive everyone who hurt me. I am grateful to all the people who come into my life: they either teach me, or make me stronger, or introduce me to life from its other side. I am grateful to them, because any other attitude will harm me more than them.

I will accept that close and beloved people can live without a head, distort their lives, including fatally distorting and doing irreparable stupidities: no one promised me that people close to me would only please me. If this is important to me, I will take the job to please my loved ones — on myself!

I will cross out the word «betrayal» from the internal lexicon. I will accept the fact that people change their views, plans, and they do not always consider it necessary to take care of me. The one who leaves me in trouble will be for me a person who looks at everything differently, and I will deal with myself in order to learn to better understand people.

I am not promised that in this world someone will love me. My parents loved me not as much as I wanted, but as much as they could and wanted. Those who love and support me usually do it because they need me. There is little love in the world, but I can make more of it. If I lack love, I can start loving myself! I can be needed by those who are dear to me, I can love my children and loved ones and bring at least a drop of good into the world.

From my experiences and frustrations, the world will not become different, it does not care about me. The world is indifferent to me. If I die, the world won’t notice. So, I will not upset myself, I need composure and energy to do a lot in this world. I’ll be happy: it’s easier to act this way!

I will never complain, I will teach myself and make a wonderful life — step by step. If I establish good relations, I will move the world in a good direction, at least a little. If I educate someone, there will be more decent and educated people in the world. I am committed to raising healthy and smart children who will feel the same duty to take care of people, to raise healthy and smart children who will also want healthy and smart children.

I will be strong to do more in this world. This world is my workshop, and whatever I do, the amount of goodness in the world must increase. Work!

In the subject

Prayer of Eutenger Christoph Friedrich​​​​​​​​:

Lord, give me peace of mind to

Accept what I can’t change

courage — to change what I can,

and wisdom is always to distinguish one from the other.

Poems by Agnes Boyagiu. She is also Mother Teresa.

People are unintelligent

Illogical and egocentric.

However, love them.

If you do good

People will accuse you of ulterior motives.

However, do good.

If success comes to you,

You will have fake friends

And true enemies.

However, may success come to you.

The good that you do

Will be forgotten tomorrow.

However, do good.

What you have been building for years

Can be destroyed in one night.

However, build.

People really need help

However, those you help

They might pounce on you.

However, help people.

Give the world the best you have

And you will be beaten.

However, give the world your best

What do you have.