If I tell the girl how it is, why I invite her to my house, she will most likely refuse. If I tell her a beautiful bullshit, she will understand everything perfectly and it will suit her.
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The rules of decency, as a ritual of social behavior, differ from the ritual itself by a lesser severity of the behavioral scheme. Nevertheless, it is necessary to know and fulfill them if you want to be accepted in society.
The rules of decency are simpler than strict and refined etiquette. A person who follows the rules of decency, however, may not be familiar with etiquette: he is a decent, but not very well-mannered person. And one who does not follow the rules of decency is simply an indecent person.
All over the world, parents teach children good manners, teach them how to say greetings, teach them the rituals of eating, courtship, mourning, as well as the ability to conduct conversations on certain topics, maintaining the necessary level of criticality and goodwill. The latter skill is precisely what is called tact or the art of diplomacy, and some techniques are of purely local significance, while others are universal.
For example, table manners at meal times or the practice of inquiring about the health of the wife may or may not be encouraged or prohibited by local traditions.
Interestingly, the acceptability of these particular interactions is most often in an inverse relationship: usually, where eating manners are not monitored, women’s health is not inquired about. Conversely, in areas where it is customary to be interested in women’s health, a restrained style of behavior at the table is recommended.
Ritualized behavior is always a convention, it is always fairy tales, the meaning of which is determined by upbringing and environment, and which have to be told to everyone who is not familiar with these fairy tales. Children, at least, do not know the rules of decency.
Mom writes. Recently, we are walking down the street, and my five-year-old son shouts at the top of his voice: “Oh, fat, fat,” and points to a passerby. “Hush, you can’t say that,” I stop him. «And why?» sounds like a legitimate question. Indeed, until now he and his sisters were fooling around at home and portrayed a fat man, calling them and grandfather fat. And then all of a sudden you can’t. I myself did not expect that such things would have to be explained to a five-year-old son. After all, he hadn’t spoken before — I didn’t even think that he didn’t speak, not because he kept up appearances, but because he couldn’t say, I thought that the rules of behavior are innate :). And here you need to enter the word “indecent”, explain that “uncle is a stranger”, “this is insulting”. Although Fedor saw nothing but funny here. But so far, we haven’t had such incidents again. Although before that he called one of our acquaintances grandmother Baba Yaga — indeed, she is surprisingly similar to her.