Working with mental pain — recognizing the cause of mental pain, promptly removing it and preventing a new occurrence of mental pain.
Attention — if someone has not just a mental pain, but a whole spiritual wound, then this article is not for him. A bruise can be treated at home, and wounds are treated in a hospital. If you have something serious, do not self-medicate, go to a specialist.
Also consider what people call mental pain, often turns out to be something completely different. For example, restrained anger, unlived resentment, deep fear. And sometimes — just a notion and fantasy from nothing to do and to attract the attention of others. To deal with this, sometimes you need a psychologist or a psychotherapist.
Also, if there is a feeling of resentment, revenge and other experiences that have an internal conditional benefit behind mental pain, then in this case, removing mental pain is the same as scooping water out of a leaky boat when water is poured into it again and again. If a person himself over and over again recreates his emotional pain with offensive memories, it is useless to relieve pain, first you need to stop creating it for yourself.
Mental pain can be created not only by the person himself, having conditional benefits, sometimes it is created by the people around him, consciously or not hitting your pain points. In this case, perhaps you should reconsider your relationship with these people, or simply leave the situation where you are hit on sore points.
If there is pain in the soul, you have two tasks: to dampen the pain and remove the cause of the pain. Sometimes one is relevant, sometimes another.
If you have a toothache, you should not eat Nurafen, but go to the dentist. If you have a nail in the sole of your shoe, then you need not to relieve the pain, but remove the nail.
If mental pain is caused by actual events (someone’s actions, disagreements, difficult conversations or conflicts), then the main focus should be on eliminating the real causes, and not psychological or psychotherapeutic work with pain. If over and over again you arrange problems for yourself in relationships, meet with the wrong people and arrange problems for yourself out of the blue, then you need not to take off your mental pain, but to straighten your head. The first focus is on removing the causes.
It’s another matter if the situation has already happened, gone, but the mental pain remains and greatly interferes. Everything is clear, but the soul still hurts. It is clear that it will pass, but is it possible to do something so that now it does not hurt so much and passes faster? Yes, you can. Not long-standing mental pain is removed, as a rule, by rethinking the situation that has occurred or by relieving muscle tension and clamps.
Pay attention — the body is the main carrier of mental pain: muscle tension and clamps.
The pain of losing something precious — losing a home, a job, life prospects, the loss of loved ones, or serious problems with one’s own health — is another separate and difficult topic. Simple means here do not always help. See What to experience with losses and In order not to suffer when losing a loved one
And in simple cases, mental pain can often be removed by fairly simple, «home» remedies. If you have just received a «hit from life» — unexpected difficult news, or you have been hit with a phrase in a difficult conversation — breath control helps. The clamp is formed when you freeze, when the diaphragm tightens. To prevent this from happening, watch your breathing: breathe calmly or vigorously, but — breathe. If you know breathing practices, it is easier for you: breathe calmly, with an extended exhalation — just in time.
Also, after difficult events, when pain begins in the soul, it is useful to get enough sleep. No wonder they say: «The morning is wiser than the evening.» At night, the body relaxes, mental pain goes away. Option — professional massage. A good massage therapist will know that you have a heartache, even if you do not tell him about it. He will feel it with his hands — he will feel your muscle clamps. And with a high probability he will be able to stretch them, eliminating the base of mental pain. If after that you do not create it again, there will be no more pain. Get up fresh and joyful.
The pain can return if you bring back memories to the painful situation. To prevent this from happening, keep yourself busy. Sometimes it helps to shift the focus of attention from yourself to anyone nearby: to start actively taking care of someone. When someone really needs you, you forget about yourself, and this is good in this case.
If you feel better, it is desirable to consolidate success. Here it can be useful to engage in active physical activity: work in the country, energetic sports (preferably with respiratory pumping), and finally, to switch completely, you can also dance in a good company. If you are, in principle, a bright person who loves people and life, then you know how it helps to do something good for others, at least to say a compliment to a good person, take care of someone, congratulate friends on something joyful and pleasant.
However, once again a warning, be careful: if something else is behind your mental pain (again: restrained anger, unlived resentment, etc.), then these remedies will not only not be effective, but will also create additional mental stress.
Looking Forward: Developing Mental Resilience
Mental pain often occurs in those who are not ready to face difficult life events. Strong people prepare themselves for everything in advance. It is useful to develop your emotional stability, to strengthen your mental invulnerability when you meet at least life’s little things, to train your mental fortitude. See Developing mental stability