David Servan-Schreiber says goodbye to us

David received us at his parents’ apartment in the suburbs of Paris, sitting in an armchair where his father had once sat. He spoke to us about his departure and the existential issues that preoccupied him openly and with genuine generosity, once again giving us a wonderful lesson in life. Despite the recurrence of his illness, he repeated that he still considers it important and necessary to fight for integrative medicine (that is, combining classical methods of treatment with complementary means – acupuncture, hypnosis, meditation …) and maintaining a healthy lifestyle (nutrition, physical activity).

We talked about his latest book, where he talked about how day after day for nineteen years he struggled with a brain tumor, about four surgeries, about difficult moments and simple everyday joys, about the precious support of loved ones, about the fear of death, about father, about children, about love… He was preparing to say goodbye to all those he loves.

Psychologies: How do you think the millions of readers and all those who have changed their lifestyle thanks to the book “Anti-Cancer” will react when they find out about the recurrence of your disease?

David Cervan-Schreiber: I think a lot of people will be disappointed. They will probably think: if Servan-Schreiber himself, who lives by the principles of his book, relapses, then this system does not work after all. I want to say to them: this only means that my particular case is not indicative, not equivalent to the results of scientific research. You can not take a single example and draw global conclusions from it regarding treatment methods.

Why are you convinced that all these principles that you have formulated remain valid?

D.S.-Sh.: There is no traditional treatment regimen that would give an absolute guarantee against cancer and its recurrence. If a patient goes through chemotherapy and then relapses, you can’t say that chemotherapy doesn’t work at all. I never claimed that the methods described in the book “Anti-Cancer” are one hundred percent effective. No diet, no way to deal with stress can completely eliminate the possibility of relapse. But on the other hand, everyone can maximize the natural defenses of their body, taking care of their general condition – physical and mental. For example, it is well established that exercise makes chemotherapy much easier to tolerate, and the use of stress management techniques reduces nausea.

What did you do best in your fight for integrative medicine?

D.S.-Sh.: I would not like to attribute all the luck to myself, because in fact there are a lot of us – those who advocate this approach to health. We have made very significant progress. Among the most important is the introduction of the EMDR method into modern medicine, which thousands of people have been able to use.

What else did you do?

D.S.-Sh.: Anti-Cancer helped reinforce the notion that the patient could, in some form, take back control of their lives, be an actor in the fight for their health. This is vital. But I really did not expect such a success that this book won from readers.

How do you explain it?

D.S.-Sh.: I think there is a degree of suffering that cannot even be imagined, with regard to serious diseases and especially cancer. It is the most common of chronic diseases and the most deadly.

What else would you like to say to all those who gave so much hope?

D.S.-Sh.: I want to tell them: of course, it’s sad that I have a relapse, but most importantly, do not allow yourself to become discouraged because of this. There was just an unforeseen complication. In addition, I must confess that lately I have not followed all the lifestyle principles described in Anti-Cancer. It’s not just about broccoli and green tea, although that’s important. What I personally missed is peace of mind, clarity, calmness. In my book, I speak directly about how important it is to arrange everything in such a way that our inner world and, if possible, the closest environment – the family, the people with whom we work – are serene, free from conflicts.

Did you have the feeling that you missed the balance, forgot about yourself for the sake of your business?

D.S.-Sh.: Exactly. Due to long trips, I was not careful enough with my biorhythms: “Anti-Cancer” became a bestseller not only in all European countries, but also in Israel, Brazil … We spent so much effort on publishing this book that it was difficult for me to refuse to participate in its presentation readers from different countries.

In your book, you write about the stories of patients who have experienced clinical death. What do you think about the afterlife today?

D.S.-Sh.: These stories made a big impression on me: the feeling that you died, the tunnel, the light, the deep feeling of love, kindness, beauty, connection with countless souls. These patients were so fascinated by what was happening that they wanted to stay there, never go back to the hospital. Like all neurologists and neuropsychiatrists, I asked myself: is it just a hallucination that occurs when there is a significant drop in oxygen content in the brain? It’s very possible, but I don’t really believe in that explanation. These stories have existed since antiquity, they are retold in many cultures, and they are found in all religions. In any case, this experience of near death brings relief to those who have had it and completely changes their attitude towards death. They are no longer afraid. And many people around them are no longer afraid.

If such stories can help the sick, how can they help their loved ones, who often find themselves defenseless in the face of this test?

D.S.-Sh.: First of all, you need to understand everything for yourself. Otherwise, how can you help someone else? For me, it all started with Irvin Yalom’s book Existential Psychotherapy**. In the chapter on death, he says one thing that may seem trivial, but has a powerful effect on us if we understand it to the end: all people will die someday. Having understood this for real, a person will live his life in a completely different way day by day. This thought brought me great relief. I was 32 and just found out that I had a brain tumor. In principle, I had no chance to get out, so I just wanted to collect information: what ideas, concepts, contacts, structures exist that would help to find some kind of support, to inoculate myself in some way against the fear of death. There is a lot of literature on this topic – Leo Tolstoy, for example, wrote a lot about this.

Could you say that you’ve gotten used to the idea of ​​death?

D.S.-Sh.: Yes, it will soon be twenty years since I live with this thought, so I have already got used to it a little. Ultimately, the trajectory of life leads to death, and I, like many philosophers, like to think that life is a long preparation for that moment. When a person refuses to fight the disease, he has one more battle left – to die properly: to say goodbye, to forgive, to receive forgiveness.

There is absolutely no feeling of regret in your last book…

D.S.-Sh.: No, I’m not particularly sorry. At 50, I don’t have the impression that I’ve missed my life. I was lucky to have a very impressive experience, including the experience of cancer.

What pleasures can you afford today?

D.S.-Sh.: I listen to music, watch movies, meet people I love. It is very important to find something every day that will enrich our lives. Living in survival mode is pretty easy, but I don’t think it’s a healthy thing to do. So every evening I think about all the things that gave me pleasure during the day, and I cultivate a sense of gratitude in myself.

American psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross called seriously ill people our teachers. In what you are experiencing, are you more focused on yourself, or are you driven by a desire to share experiences?

D.S.-Sh.: This possibility is very attractive to me, but I decided to be more careful with this. Because we must live by what we experience, and not solely in order to convey our experience.

And what do you think about your children – about the eldest (15 years old) and two little ones (2 years and 7 months)?

D.S.-Sh.: I feel great tenderness. And sadness too – at the thought that I will not be with them when they grow up, that I will not be able to protect them. But I think they will manage. I will leave a letter and a video for each of them so that they know how important our connection is to me and also that I believe in them. When you know you’re going to die in the next few weeks, months at the most, there’s a lot to organize, especially when you have a wife and kids.

What have you already done?

D.S.-Sh.: I made a will, which took a lot of work. It is difficult to make a division between people who will begin to compare themselves with each other … I also think of everything that can make parting easier. There comes a time when this needs to be done. It is not simple. You have to meet people, each one individually. This must be done – but in a way that does not tear each other’s hearts.

What do you mean by that?

D.S.-Sh.: There is a way to say goodbye when they say: “Well, it’s over. That’s what it meant to me. What did that mean to you? Well, thank you. Now goodbye.” It’s too abrupt, too hasty, I think it can only hurt both. I prefer to say “goodbye” and know that you can say “goodbye” to each other many times.

¹ EMDR, a method of desensitization and treatment of injuries with eye movement.

² I. Yalom “Existential Psychotherapy” (Remis, 2008).