Many maniacs in everyday life seemed to be the nicest people. Can we somehow determine that there is a dangerous person next to us? There are three personality traits that give us reason to think and look at the other better.
«So-so relationship» experienced, probably, everyone. But there are people with whom they develop especially badly: next to them we do not feel safe, we can experience acute loneliness and feel unloved. These people can control us, question our adequacy or ability to think and feel independently.
If you recognize your past or current relationship in this description, it is likely that your partner has personality traits that are commonly called the “dark triad”. The term was introduced in 2002 by Canadian psychologists Delroy Polhus and Kevin Williams, who proved that three negative traits — Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy — together create a model of a person dangerous to society.
Machiavellianism
The name comes from the name of Niccolo Machiavelli, an Italian thinker, politician and author of texts on history and military theory that have come down to us. It was in his writings that words were found about the strict and even immoral principles that the sovereign follows in an emergency. So, thanks to the reasoning of the nobleman of the XNUMXth century, a term was born that was used first by political scientists, and then by philosophers and psychologists.
Machiavellianism as a psychological trait is characterized by a cynical and user attitude towards others, conscious and often successful manipulation, as well as ignoring social morality. For the Machiavellian, there are no moral and ethical principles, especially when they interfere with the achievement of his personal goals.
To better understand how these people behave in life, let’s take as an example the phrases from the questionnaire for the definition of Machiavellianism:
- Everything I learn about others, I will someday be able to use against them.
- I need to win important people over to my side and use their influence.
- Lies and flattery help me get my way.
Anyone who agrees with such statements and is guided by them can be dangerous to us.
Narcissism
Narcissus in Greek mythology was the name of a beautiful, but cold and proud young man. He treated his fans with disdain and was eventually punished by the nymph Echo, whose love he rejected. Accidentally seeing his reflection in the river, Narcissus fell in love with himself and, unable to look away, drowned or, according to another version, died of hunger and love pains. Where the handsome man died, a narcissus flower grew.
Narcissism is manifested in narcissism and inflated self-esteem of a person. The first to introduce this term into psychology was Sigmund Freud himself, who believed that a certain amount of narcissism is characteristic of every person from birth.
Narcissists would agree with these statements:
- Any team without me is boring.
- I have a natural talent for influencing people.
- I need to be the center of attention.
For narcissists themselves, this is normal, but will we be comfortable around such a person?
Psychopathy
In psychiatry, psychopathy is the name for a group of personality disorders that are characterized by antisocial and aggressiveness. But, speaking of the «dark triad», we do not mean clinical disorders, but character traits.
People with this trait are characterized by an inability to abide by the law and follow the social and moral norms of society, lack of conscience, lack of regrets and feelings of guilt for causing harm to others. As well as hypocrisy, a tendency to lie, irritability, aggressiveness and a willingness to take risks — both oneself and others. Often this list includes financial irresponsibility.
What phrases could you hear from such personalities?
- I am vindictive and ready for a quick but tough revenge.
- I am often told that I am not in control.
- I like risk, and it doesn’t matter if someone else gets hurt.
Of course, there is no need to rush to label others if you notice any of the traits described in them. But it’s worth taking a closer look and at the same time listening to yourself: what is it like for you in your relationship with them? If you feel that something is not right, then it is best to discuss it with those whom you trust — with friends, family, or a therapist.