Dad on maternity leave: why fathers take parental leave

Where fathers are released on maternity leave

Specialists of the online school for children and teenagers Skysmart found out which states were ahead of the rest in terms of maternity leave for men, and also talked about how our country relates to this story.

Sweden became the first country to legally allow dads to go on parental leave. So the Swedish authorities tried to introduce the ideas of conscious fatherhood and at least slightly relieve mothers. Approximately 35 years ago, «father’s quotas» were introduced there — the days of the decree, which the pope can and should use.

For example, out of 480 days of legally guaranteed maternity leave, 60 are paternal. And if mom and dad share the entire parental leave, then they receive additional payments. It turns out that joint care of a newborn is beneficial, at least from a financial point of view. The policy has worked: Today, a quarter of Swedish fathers go on maternity leave along with their mothers.

This practice is accepted in Norway, Japan, Iceland, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland. Some companies in other states give dads the opportunity to babysit, even if «father’s decrees» are not enshrined in law. For example, Mark Zuckerberg gives employees of Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) a four-month maternity leave for fathers. The same holidays are provided in Google and in other large companies.

Can a father apply for maternity leave in Russia?

In our country, parental leave can be taken by mom, dad and any other relatives — for example, grandparents. The law guarantees a parent on maternity leave 40% of his average salary over the past two years. Leave is granted for one and a half years. However, it can be extended for another year and a half, but at your own expense. But the workplace is yours to keep.

Despite the fact that both moms and dads can go on vacation, women in Russia still take a decree much more often. In 2017, only 2% of fathers went on parental leave. Perhaps the fact is that in our country everything related to children remains the prerogative of women.

Many still believe that changing diapers is a business unworthy of a real brutal man. At the same time, it is believed that motherhood and childcare are easy for women, because by nature they should be the guardians of the hearth. That is, a woman allegedly cannot get tired while taking care of children, because for her it is “natural”.

In fact, long-term isolation from the usual affairs and circle of friends and round-the-clock care for a child are very difficult for women. According to WHO, in developed countries, almost 20% of mothers of newborns suffer from depression and emotional burnout. But at the same time, as a group of researchers from France found out, employed mothers “burn out” less often than housewives — they experience anxiety, symptoms of depression, and emotional overwork less often.

Why would a father go on maternity leave?

1. Help mom save her career. According to Rosstat, 53,2% of women in Russia work. Most likely, this figure is actually higher, because only those who are officially employed were taken into account. But at the same time, experts believe that after the birth of a child, the risk of losing a job and income for a woman increases.

Many mothers, returning to work after the decree, find themselves in less favorable conditions compared to childless ones. The longer the break, the higher the likelihood of problems with returning to the labor market. And Russian realities are such that most families will be able to function normally only if both parents earn money.

There are few families where the mother does not work at all. And no wonder: the average salary now is 46 rubles, and this is clearly not enough to support himself, his wife and children.

2. Support mom psychologically. Motherhood is hard work. Both psychological and physical. If you don’t believe me, try to sleep fitfully for 4-5 hours a day and keep a seven-kilogram load on your hands all the time.

Lack of sleep, anxiety, tactile overload, social isolation lead to the fact that mothers begin to mope. And if the mother does not have the strength, it will be very difficult for her to build intimacy with the child. Therefore, the everyday and emotional participation of the pope is very important.

3. Keep in touch with the child. By caring for a child in the first months of his life, dad gets used to him faster, copes with changes in family life more easily and builds a strong emotional attachment.

4. Give choice to yourself and others. The more fathers go on maternity leave, the more acceptable this practice becomes. Flexibility benefits everyone: both men and women will be able to choose how to structure their family and work lives, if they know that for any choice they will not be judged or ridiculed.

How can dad prepare for maternity leave?

1. Organize work. If the company gives you the opportunity to go on maternity leave officially, it is better to take advantage of this. However, the father does not even have to leave the workplace to help the mother cope with the child. Now many professions allow you to work online. Discuss remote work options with your boss. Perhaps your presence in the office is not so important.
2. Study the materiel. Read books about fatherhood. For example, the Japanese writer Toshimasa Oota wrote the book «The Best Dad!» — she explains how to combine a career and conscious fatherhood. «Super dad. A guide for future fathers ”by Svetlana Tarasova is closer to our realities, this book will help dads prepare for replenishment in the family. Do not count on the fact that everything will work out by itself: take matters into your own hands!
3. Find support. Look for fatherhood blogs, listen to podcasts, follow dad bloggers on Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia). Talk to those who have already had maternity leave if there are such people in your environment. All this is not just inspiring — it will make you feel like you are doing something important … and completely normal.