Those whose parents are always near do not even think about what life in an incomplete family can be. According to statistics, more often mothers bring up children alone. Children then have to make their own conclusions about the roles of men and women in the family and society. We have collected 5 reasons why a child needs a father.
Reason № 1. Discipline
The father in the family is historically assigned the place of the leader of the pack, and the mother is the keeper of the hearth, therefore, the father rather than the mother can put children in a rigid framework. His authority is beyond doubt, and his father’s word is the last resort. After it, it is no longer discussed whether it is possible to turn on the computer or walk for an hour longer. The situation is often the case, regardless of gender stereotypes, and we are not talking about cane discipline: children, especially small ones, obey their dad unquestioningly and take strictness for granted. Fulfilling the requirements of their father, they learn to adhere to the schedule, perform their duties and other similar skills that will be very useful to them in the future – everyone knows that in life they often have to do something, not because they want to, but because it is necessary.
Cause № 2. Protection
“I’ll tell my dad,” is perhaps the main trump card in children’s disputes, which is pulled out of the sleeve only if the opponent, not wanting to give up, switches to prohibited techniques. Those who do not have a father feel deep resentment, and those who have one feel a sense of protection and self-confidence. Often the little debaters are not even going to “tell dad”, they just need to know that this can be done in principle, and then the father will sort things out in justice and punish the offender. It is possible to assess the full power of this knowledge only with age: those who grew up in single-parent families may feel a sense of their own inferiority, no matter what heights they have achieved in their business, only because their dad never praised them, as when then other children.
Reason # 3. Responsibility
Parents for a child are a model of what a father and mother, husband and wife should be, and they become a standard regardless of their qualities, since young children are much more prone to idealization than to analysis. If everything is going well in the family, then the girls will most likely expect the same qualities from their future husband as those of their father, and will not allow either moral or physical violence against themselves. Obviously, if the parents consider beatings to be the norm, then so do the children. A father who does not allow himself to raise his hand against anyone, takes care of his wife and children and justifies his position as the head of the family by his deeds, will set an example of how a man should be responsible and provide support, and a woman should recognize authority and appreciate efforts. Healthy parental relationships give children the opportunity to master gender roles, and this is much more important than it seems: it is easier for girls to understand that their value is not measured in physiological indicators, but for young men – that their chances of a happy union do not increase in proportion to the thickness of the wallet. A person who has not learned the laws of mutual respect on the example of mom and dad accumulates grievances for years without even realizing that his problems are rooted in childhood.
Reason # 4. Determination
If mom has forbidden eating ice cream on a walk, the father will most likely allow: as a rule, dads do not miss an opportunity to pamper their children, especially those who, after a divorce, see their daughters and sons only on weekends. Fathers almost always play the role of cheerleaders: they teach children to swim, ride a bike, take them on a hike and go fishing, because one of the main tasks of male upbringing is the socialization of the child. Mom protects him at home, and dad brings him out into the world and teaches him not to be afraid of what is happening in this world, but both parents must remember that the main thing is the child and his own desires. Children need competent management, not a dictatorship: if a son wants to do ballet, and a daughter wants to play hockey, let them try, even if it’s just a whim. A positive decision of both the father and the mother in such cases will help the children understand that they have many opportunities to realize themselves in the world, and in a disputable situation one can count on the support of their parents.
Reason # 5. Variation
Men are creatures from Mars, and women are from Venus, and it is much easier for a person who is familiar with the behavior of both of them to understand and accept the reasons for the actions of others. Men are practical, concentrated and quiet, and women are sensual, talkative and multitasking, which is why it can be so difficult for them to interact, and a child who has received a positive example of finding a compromise from mom and dad will not have to look for it from others. In single-parent families, parents should make sure that the child has an example of communication between adults, people who respect each other of different sexes. For example, the father in this case can be replaced by a grandfather, stepfather or a coach in the section where the child goes, and the mother can be replaced by a grandmother, aunt or a teacher at school.
Everyone knows the difficulties that single mothers experience, but the topic of single fathers is not covered so well. Therefore, dads who raise children without the help of their mothers will talk about their lives in the new program “Male Education” on January 24 at 21:00 on the TLC channel.