“Who are without money, do not walk with girls”
M. Zoshchenko
Men (especially young ones) are often outraged: both partners get equal pleasure from love (and the Indians believe that female pleasure is nine times stronger than male), and all the same, the gentleman has to win the lady, as if he alone needs it … Give gifts, treat a meal, defeat dragons… Someone, having read Weininger, believes in the inherently vicious essence of a woman, someone complains about the heavy legacy of the past, when a woman was economically dependent, and all her acquisitions could only be gifts. Since then, they say, ladies have become accustomed to receiving gifts … Someone puts off the root cause in cave times, when a pregnant or lactating woman could not hunt herself, and was forced to exchange her favor for the talents of a male hunter.
This is how a primitive man is seen, having barely invented property, and already offering this property to a primitive human woman in order to win her favor. And the wolf, having lifted the prey, often drags it to the she-wolf, whose attention it claims. There are even pusher insects, which have no brains, but only the pharyngeal ganglion, and then they go to mate only after preparing a gift — a small cape woven from cobwebs with woven flies …
In insects, however, this happens for a completely different reason — the female needs to be occupied with something for the time of the apotheosis of love so that she does not eat the male, but anyway, what is the illustration, huh? He tries, multiplies, providing life for the offspring, and she just wants to devour …
But in vain, by God, in vain, gentlemen complain about women’s selfishness, and feminists are trying to cut off the monetary component of flirting in order to fight for equality. It seems to me that the roots of the phenomenon lie so deeply that it is impossible to brush them aside and separate love from money as easily as flies from meatballs. And not for nothing, oh, not for nothing that prostitution is called the oldest profession …
Let’s see what a male needs to do in order to leave his set of genes in the treasury of his species.
He must see the female from afar, evaluate her attractiveness (and an immature or elderly female, as well as a sick and unviable female, is a poor assistant for reproduction), catch up with her and … mate. Everything. I mean, everything seems to be. And the brains of the male are arranged in the most suitable way for this. Firstly, a person distinguishes a man from a woman at about the same distance as a person from another object. Amazing, isn’t it? Secondly, all women know that men have only one thing in mind, right? So from the side of men, everything seems to be clear.
It is enough for the female to turn her head, to make sure that the male who attacked her is worthy of her, and … and you can continue to eat your banana. Therefore, by the way, there are so many publications containing images of attractive women, and not so many of attractive men. A woman is simply not oriented by nature to an active visual search. But the means in order to drive away the male unsuitable to be the father of her children, the female must have …
But we missed a few important details. This male, having known the happiness of love, completes his role in the process of reproduction. And the female needs to endure, feed, protect offspring … And therefore, nature reasonably ordered to give the male to help the female. So that he was nearby, protected from the saber-toothed tiger and followed the mammoth.
And here is where things get interesting.
How does the female determine how well the male will protect her? In-from … Let him first bring a mammoth, prove that he is a good warrior, beat another male to prove to the female that she chose the one who is stronger, spin around his chosen one to prove that he will not leave her with small males, and only after that the female will allow him to boudoir pleasures.
Therefore, the male has to meet the ladies’ expectations — to hang certificates of wealth on the skin, to be aggressive towards workmates in order to demonstrate to the object of sighing his superiority over competitors at the right time, to treat an exquisite mammoth in a restaurant … In a word, to perform the mating ritual.
Feminists, denying the inequality of the sexes, practically block this behavior, and the poor male becomes unable to show his chosen one his ability to support or at least support the family, stopping the mating dance of homo sapiens erctus in the early stages. Therefore, as much as I sympathize with feminists in my heart, it seems to me that their ideas will not conquer the world.
Hence the idea of prostitution is understandable — the male has mated, demonstrated his financial independence, and everyone is fine … And the ritual has been completed, and no extra time has been spent. So prostitution may well indeed be the oldest profession in the world.
But a woman needs love for money in much fewer cases: she is not so focused on visual search and mating for her is only part of the happiness from owning a chosen one. But in the signs of solvency, competitiveness and defense, she can find quite erotic pleasure. In sexopathology, there is even a recorded case of a woman receiving an orgasm at the sight of large, black, shiny cars.
So one should not blame women for venality, in their eyes, wealth can be frankly an erogenous factor for perfectly justified evolutionary reasons. And the desire to provide for oneself, preferably for life, is not at all a petty woman’s greed, but an inexorable demand of the instinct inherent in it by nature, because this is both the security and survival of offspring. And for the children, we all know, the female fights better than the other male, even in frankly hopeless situations …
Therefore, the boys in «War and Peace» prefer battle scenes, competitive and warlike behavior for them is part of the mating ritual, and girls are read out with descriptions of the «beautiful life».
These are, of course, the rules. However, as you know, there are no rules without exceptions (in Latin, by the way, it sounds more beautiful: “nulla regula est sine exeptione”), and it would be strange to assume that such complex patterns of behavior will work for everyone equally and without failures.
But deviations, of course, are much more diverse than the norm.
Men are fond of pumping up muscles, even to the detriment of sexual function, just to demonstrate the strength of a warrior. Not that they certainly wanted to demonstrate, this is just an exaggerated manifestation of one of the sides of instinct. They get stuck on material accumulation, also to the detriment of their personal lives and for the same reasons. But you never know how you can demonstrate your superiority over others, even to yourself …
Women honestly go in cycles in the problem of choice. And this one is not good for everyone, and that one does not satisfy everything … After all, a woman can like a man in several ways:
— He is handsome — I want him — I want to live with him — I want children from him
And if at the same time he is also able to provide for his family … And God forbid that she found all this in the same chosen one.
In the meantime, in the process of courtship, the gentleman receives his own in kisses and hugs, and the lady — in flowers and treats. As soon as it seems to the gentleman that the lady has already found her pleasure in communicating with him, and you can already avoid unnecessary spending on souvenirs and plants, the lady becomes uninteresting … There was just such a gallant gentleman, and suddenly everything disappeared somewhere. So for the future it is useful not to give him free rein, to keep a distance, and then the gentleman will remain interesting. And so they all need one thing, as soon as you allow something, it immediately changes for the worse.
The cavalier, on the other hand, looks at all this with different eyes: while he spent money on her, she paid some attention, but when the money ran out, that’s all, no longer needed. She, it turns out, only needs money, and not himself. So what do you call them after that?
But, on the other hand, humanity is very lucky that its rituals are more diverse than those of other species, because imagine what would happen if the popularity of a gentleman was determined solely by the number of fights won, like deer, or long teeth, like baboons. , or the beauty of a hairstyle, or the beauty of a porch, like some fish … A person has a choice. Let difficult, but the choice. Albeit ambiguous, but a variety.
The parameters of natural selection in modern society are ambiguous, and it is not known where they will lead humanity, perhaps to some new, especially qualitative form, or perhaps it will lead to the stratification of social groups so that humanity will be divided into several sharply different forms, as in the “Machine Time» Wells.
And when you like someone, you can firmly know that your subconscious mind performs an act of natural selection based on the appearance and mannerisms of the chosen one and the chosen one and your preferences. Both that and another are put not only by education, but also genetically. Most likely, you will not be able to explain what it was that you found in your hobby, and, quite possibly, you will never be able to.
In a word, one should rush to create a family at a young age, while it is not clear to oneself what one wants from this. And then the set of requirements will be difficult to satisfy. And so, perhaps over time, everything will settle down … You just have to choose your own version of diversity, both in behavior and in preference.
And it’s not scary if your chosen one or chosen one does not look like official ideals are portrayed in glossy magazines, it will be much worse if you choose the generally accepted option instead of the one you need. After all, the main thing is still happiness …
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.