Normal parents do not want to raise children and are not interested: they just want to love children. I want to admire them, I want to play with them, I want to support them in their endeavors. However, sooner or later, raising children is necessary, at least you need to keep children from what is simply dangerous for them or others.
The child must understand that it is impossible to run out onto the road with transport during any game, at the table you need to eat porridge with a spoon, and not with your hands, and you need to resolve contentious issues in the game first with requests, and not immediately with a fight. In the end, a small child needs to be taught to pee in a pot, and not randomly.
And this is education.
The science of parenting can be mastered, but in practice, this luxury is not available to most ordinary parents. The science of education requires preparation, and it must be mastered very gradually, from simple to complex.
The first step is educating yourself. The second stage is the management of the child. And only the third stage is the upbringing of children.
Telling educational technologies to ordinary parents is pointless: a child is more complicated than a TV, and we still trust the repair of complex household appliances to professionals. God forbid we learn to at least use the remote control competently, God forbid we at least competently manage a growing child: not everyone has the nerve to be reasonable when a beloved child cries so plaintively to us; it is very difficult to remain loving when this monster is throwing wild tantrums at us. Let’s be realistic: let’s remember that the majority of parents do not consciously educate their children in any way and, in fact, cannot educate them, because they live mostly unconsciously and act impulsively.
So, dear parents, decide: do you want to master the upbringing of a child or its management? In order to raise a child safely, management is enough. Education is an exceptionally worthy business, but few people can handle it; it requires either an innate talent or years of study and training. If in numbers — well, let’s say 720 hours of study, and you can be allowed to see children as a decent teacher. Can you boast that you are ready to allocate such time to educate yourself as a child caregiver? What are you seriously studying? Units subscribe to it. More realistic, after all — the management of the child. It’s cheaper and more practical. You will have a completely manageable child who will not disturb you, but rather please you, but will bring up his environment: TV, classmates and the Internet.
Do not build illusions — this is how 98 families out of 100 live. To become an exception and become an educator of your children, you need to really become an exception and learn how to educate yourself. Learn to work on yourself. Are you ready for this? We think it makes sense anyway: if you don’t raise your children properly, you may at least raise your grandchildren. And if you don’t come out with your grandchildren, at least you will educate yourself. This is already a great achievement!
L.N. Tolstoy to help us: “Education is a difficult matter only as long as we want, not educating ourselves, but to educate our children or anyone else. If you understand that we can educate others only through ourselves, then the question of education is abolished and one question remains: how should one live?
So, engage in self-education and, if possible, do not touch the children, do not interfere with their lives. As you progress and the needs of life, gradually move on to more and more active management of children. And when your children become obedient, you can already educate them. And even somehow responsible for the results of their own upbringing.
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.