Creation of the world according to ho’oponopono

A cursory glance at the book does not add optimism. It turns out that the age-old knowledge of the Hawaiian sages was creatively rethought in the XNUMXth century by the shaman Morrna Simeon, from whom Dr. Ihaliakala studied… no, let it be just Dr. Lin! So, Dr. Lin reached such heights in ho’oponopono that he was able to heal an entire department for the mentally ill criminals in one of the Hawaiian hospitals. The most interesting thing is that Dr. Lin treated his patients with little to no contact with them. He just leafed through their medical records and tried to save the unfortunate … purifying his own soul and turning to the divine principle in himself and in the world for help. It seems that exciting prospects are opening up before my personality.

«I’m in charge of everything.» The first question I had was: Why didn’t Dr. Lin feel the need to communicate with patients? The explanation is ingenious in its simplicity. Ho’oponopono proceeds from the postulate that the world exists only insofar as we perceive and realize it. Therefore, everything that surrounds us is the product of our feelings and mind. And if so, what, in fact, is the point of treating the sick? We need to work on ourselves until our eyes see them already healthy.

In philosophy, such views are known as «subjective idealism», they were developed, for example, by Berkeley and Hume, and ho’oponopono does not discover any Americas in this sense. But on the other hand, it’s already interesting! Neither Berkeley nor Hume, as far as I know, assumed such a moral responsibility of the creator for the world he created. And Dr. Lin says exactly that. And if you meet a sick person, then, according to the logic of Dr. Lin, this indicates that the problem is in you. By solving it, you will heal the patient as well. By the way, in Hawaiian «ho’oponopono» means «correct mistakes.» Mistakes, obviously, in itself.

In that case, will Dr. Lin admit his share of responsibility for the conflict in Syria and the atrocities of the Somali pirates? It turns out yes. And he tries very hard to correct his mistakes in order to deal with these problems too. But it hasn’t come out yet. Even his level of ho’oponopono skills — which allows him to heal dozens of people behind his eyes — is still insufficient for such global tasks.

I catch myself on the fact that the phrase from the bearded joke “Something is bothering me again in Honduras” suddenly acquires a completely new sound.

How to correct mistakes? The bottom line is that you need to return to a certain zero point, completely cleared of all memories, which are incorrect behavior programs imposed on us. Many religions speak about the same thing: about the original divine spark in the soul of everyone. About how this divine principle distorts our earthly experience, and about how to discover God in yourself. It must be admitted that the Hawaiian shamans, although they lived for centuries on their islands, went in line with the spiritual and philosophical quest of all mankind. Yes, scientific research too. According to ho’oponopono, a person is made up of three elements: mother (conscious self), child (unconscious), and father (superconscious), and for a normal life, the «family» must be in good harmony. It sounds familiar — both Freud and Jung thought a lot about the structure of the personality, and Eric Berne used the images of the Child and the Parent in his constructions. But theory is theory, but I would like to know how to cleanse myself in practice.

Dr. Lin has many ways to cleanse the soul of harmful programs, but they are protected by copyright and you can join these secrets only at special seminars. However, the simplest and most effective way is mentioned on almost every page of the book. All you have to do is repeat like an endless mantra, “I’m sorry. Sorry. Thank you. Love you». Addressing these words not only and (not so much) to his rude boss, unfortunate patients or Somali pirates, but to himself. Or rather, the divine (whatever meaning you put into this word) beginning in yourself and in the world.

Sharp-tongued colleagues are interested in my progress from time to time. And since the word «ho’oponopono» is not easy to remember, the question is mostly: «How far have you advanced in the study of Limpopo?» I answer that I understood the main thing. And that’s why I love them so much.

Poison of memories. I must admit that the book interested me. Claims to her, of course, enough. On the one hand, the pragmatic approach of Joe Vitale is annoying. He rightly emphasizes that it is necessary to turn to God with words of love and gratitude not for the sake of some kind of self-interest, but for the good of one’s own soul. And then he pours out examples of how the endless repetition of “I love you” and so on helped a realtor get a good deal, and a car dealer become a sales champion … On the other hand, Dr. Lin also confuses me: he always talks to the room in which he perform, and energetically cleanses the chairs if he feels negativity in them. I’m afraid if I had caught him doing this, I would hardly have stayed for the lecture itself.

And yet I feel that the main ideas of ho’oponopono hit me to the core. Especially the idea that the source of our problems is memories, that is, interpretations of experienced experience. Let’s say I think someone is selfish. This means that I have bad memories of the experience with this person. And it is the memories that will set the nature of my relationship with him. It looks like the truth. Like Dr. Lin’s phrase: “If you are arguing with someone, then in fact the argument is not with this person. It’s your memory that you’re reacting to.»

Let us assume for a moment that we ourselves create the world around us. If so, then it is we, and not someone else, who is responsible for ensuring that everything goes well and smoothly in the world. And that means that only we ourselves can resolve any conflict. Well, in the end, I absolutely do not understand who and how the repetition of the phrase “I love you” can harm. So maybe it’s time to give it a try?

Verification in practice. Our downstairs neighbor is a lonely and not very happy woman. Our move six years ago certainly did not add happiness to her. The house has poor soundproofing, and we categorically do not coincide with it in time. A chair accidentally moved after midnight or my wife returning late from work in high heels clearly do not deserve the tantrums that a neighbor regularly throws at us. The apotheosis was our son’s birthday a couple of years ago. Yes, the kids were singing karaoke, and yes, it was already a little after eleven. But a (then still) police outfit with machine guns and a service dog and a neighbor jumping out from behind bulletproof vests with malicious triumph on her face is, you see, too much. In general, we stopped talking to her.

So, I return home and run into a neighbor at the entrance. Usually I prefer to tinker at the mailbox rather than take the elevator with her. Now, enlightened by the ideas of ho’oponopono, I clearly understand that such behavior can only be called boyish. And I enter the elevator with a forced smile on my face and a cracked «good evening». The neighbor is silent, and I repeat to myself: “I’m sorry. — Sorry. — Thanks. — Love you». Not really understanding to whom I am addressing this tirade. Eighth floor, the doors open, the neighbor comes out. I put my hand to the button for the ninth, when the neighbor suddenly says: «Wait.» Immersed in my mantra, I do not immediately understand what it is about. «Wait,» she repeats, «don’t leave, I have something to give you.» I’m still in a stupor when she returns with an envelope in her hand. Even from a distance I see that this is the same letter. Insanely important, which I have been waiting for so long that I despaired of waiting, and the absence of which has created a lot of problems for me in recent weeks. “Here,” she says. “They accidentally dropped it into my box, but I still can’t bring myself to give it back to you.” And smiles.

And I feel like I’m smiling back. No longer straining his muscles, like a weightlifter before the final approach to a record weight. “I’m sorry…” I start and then trail off. — Thank you very much».

Subtotals. And now in a nutshell — what I think about this. Of course, my story with a neighbor could well be a coincidence. I still have a hard time imagining healing patients by meditating on their medical records. However, I also have difficulty imagining the movement of a freight car by a cable clamped between my teeth, or the multiplication of six-digit numbers in my mind. Meanwhile, people capable of this exist. Yes, they are unique, but Dr. Lin is certainly not an ordinary character.

Modern science considers one of the most promising areas for the creation of drugs, taking into account the individual characteristics of the patient’s body. For some reason it seems to me that in psychotherapy, with its current variety of approaches, everything is about the same. And if the ho’oponopono method turns out to be ideal for someone, this will not surprise me at all.

Three ways to reach agreement

Of course, the exotic ho’oponopono method that our journalist tried on himself is far from the only way to harmony with yourself and others. Psychotherapists offer us many others. Here are the principles of more traditional techniques.

The art of communication according to Jacques Salome: talk about yourself, not about another

The largest French sociopsychologist Jacques Salome is the author of many popular books and several communication methods. He highlights the most important principles of «relationship hygiene»: to say what we feel, to ask honest questions, to accept other people’s words without interpreting them, to be able to say «no» to another without discrediting his proposal, and to learn to say «yes» without feeling obligated. And — to speak in the first person, no matter how difficult it is. After all, it is much more familiar and easier to reproach the interlocutor: “You don’t listen to me at all!” But this is a dead end. It is much more correct to say: «I do not feel that my words are interesting to you.» Compliance with these rules allows you to avoid destructive relationships in which the exchange of views is impossible, and any conversation is a dialogue of the deaf.

Transactional Analysis: Behaving according to circumstances

Transactional analysis was developed by the prominent American psychologist and psychiatrist Eric Berne in the middle of the XNUMXth century. He claims that in each of us, regardless of age, three «states of» I «live (not to mention the numerous» sub-states «). The first state is the Child. He can be free (creative, laid-back), educated (obedient), or rebellious (resistive). The second state — the Parent — is manifested by adherence to norms and rules, the desire to take care, patronize, but at the same time teach, insist on being right. And finally, there is also an Adult living in us, whose task is the most complete and effective interaction with everyday reality. By highlighting the facet of personality that we mobilize in our relationships with different people, transactional analysis shows which of the states can be most useful at any given moment. For example, it is hardly reasonable to behave with the boss like a capricious child, and with your loved ones like a boring and stern mentor.

Communication Without Violence: Articulating Your Needs

Created in the 1960s by the American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, the method invites everyone to express their needs clearly and precisely. And in order to start doing this, it is often necessary … to be silent. Observe the situation without passing judgment (“The children didn’t clean up after their meals again”), clarify their feelings for themselves (“I am angry”) and articulate their own needs (“I want the house to be clean and tidy”). And then make a specific request addressed to others (“Please remember to clean up after yourself from the table”). At the same time, it is important to make sure that misunderstanding is excluded — perhaps, for this you will have to reformulate your statements more than once until they are accepted by all participants in the situation. The method of non-violent communication teaches us to assert ourselves in respect for others — and to encourage others to «symmetrical response».