Covid-19: mothers and caregivers, they tell us about their daily life

They are mothers and caregivers. Caregivers, nurses, nursing aides… every day, they are “at the front” in the war against Covid. And after their day or night of work, they come home to find their families. They all tell of the interminable days, the upset family organization, the accumulated fatigue, the emotion that overwhelms them. And the pervasive fear of “bringing the virus” home and infecting children. Here are their words, terrible and touching.

The testimony of Elodie, mother and caregiver in a Covid service: “It’s hard to live with the fear of infecting my daughters. “

“I am a night nurse in a department dedicated to Covid patients. From the start it’s very complicated, both psychologically and physically. Lack of information at first with a psychosis that took hold in the hospital when the first cases arrived. Then the disinfection protocols, protective clothing… Everything changed every day… In the morning we say such and such a thing and in the evening, it is different. Then comes the fear of being infected, then the terrible anguish of bringing it all home. A few days later, the closing of schools and nurseries, and finally the confinement … And there, it is an exhausting organization which tries to be set up. How to sleep between two nights of a work that has become unbearable, with two children aged 7 and 5 months at home during the day? It’s impossible. My partner does not telecommute. We don’t have anyone around to look after the children. Instead of sleeping, you have to take care of everything: homework to manage, shopping to do, with completely hysterical people on the shelves … In the hospital, the night shifts are linked, I am exhausted, fatigue accumulates, children grow impatient. The house looks like a battlefield. I’m not talking about it…. Dark circles and jogging have become my daily life. Then, around me the first colleagues fell ill … The shortage of personnel is obviously becoming more and more glaring. I want as long as I can. One day I had symptoms. I got a test. Negative! Phew…. It’s hard to live with the constant fear of infecting my daughters. At work it’s “Baghdad”, patients everywhere, some of them in poor condition. Transfers in sheaves, deaths… People who are put in body bags, who died alone… What is tiring is also to see people continue outside as if nothing had happened. No one is invincible! I realize the human stupidity…. Corona is scary, but people’s irresponsibility is even more scary. YOU’RE WELCOME…. STAY HOME…. The caregivers are at their wit’s end.

This is my life as a mother and caregiver. I hold on, I resist, and I still hope. The covid will not pass through me! »Elodie

Lisa’s testimony: “To protect my daughter, I am ready to take off my nursing gown”

“I am a night nurse in a medical service. My unit is not yet dedicated to Covid-19, but it will not be long. Since the start of the crisis, we have been receiving patients who, as we learn after their treatment, are sometimes in suspicion, or Covid positive. Of course, for these patients we did not protect ourselves accordingly, because we are asked not to use the masks “for nothing”. 

I am the mother of a 3 year old girl with myopathy. After my shift, I come home with fear in my stomach, I’m so afraid of transmitting this virus to her. She is only a child, but she is one of those at risk given her pathology, which has an impact on her breathing capacity. I am not afraid for myself, I am afraid for her.

I love my job, it fascinates me. When we learned of my daughter’s illness, it was however inconceivable for me to leave aside my patients, my work. But today, with the coronavirus, the situation has changed. I am ready to leave my nursing gown to remain confined and protect my loved ones. Obviously reluctantly, but the working conditions without protection will force me to do so. 

As for the organization, we are rather lucky. My partner is on short-time working, he takes care of our daughter during the day, when I sleep. Usually she goes to the nursery, but there they didn’t want to take her, because of the risk of contagion for her. Anyway, we prefer that she stays at home. »Lisa

The testimony of Emilie, mother and caregiver: “People do not realize”

“I am a nursing assistant in an nursing home and the mother of 3 little girls aged 6, 3 and 18 months. Since the start of the epidemic, it has not been easy every day, stress is very present. My daughters don’t always understand why their moms go to work, while their girlfriends moms stay at home.

Between work, home, school at home, it’s really complicated. Fatigue begins to be felt. What is hard is that we are afraid for our family, for those we love. 

I was already quite manic before the epidemic, before the confinement, but since then it’s even worse! I disinfect my house several times a day for fear of the virus.  

What is also difficult is to still see people outside, who keep going out. Looks like they’re not afraid of anything! People don’t realize. And us, on the other side of the closed doors of the nursing home, it’s constantly stress, the protocols that change every morning, the heavy atmosphere, the fear of falling ill. Also, the fear of bringing the virus into my workplace and infecting the residents. And the anguish of bringing him home. »Emilie

The testimony of Virginie, carer and mother: “They send us to the pipe breaker”

We are both caregivers, my husband is a private nurse, and I am a caregiver. We are sent to the pipe breaker, we must use the D system to protect ourselves and our loved ones! We know that we will have it, the covid, maybe we already have it, but we don’t know …

Our 6 year old realizes how psychologically exhausted we are from the situation. He sees us cry with fear, or horrible images that we see on a daily basis… Because it is common for us to find a patient who has died of covid at his home… The people we visit are all elderly.  

It’s hard, so hard! With my husband, we have just decided to send our son to his grandparents, while the peak passes. It’s no longer possible to continue like this!  

In addition, the reactions around us are terrible. We were left with distressing words, asking us to park away from other cars, and even to move away during the virus! We are there… ”Virginie

Estelle’s testimony: “Separated from my daughters, I made the least worst choice”

I am a health manager (head nurse) in a hospital center, and I supervise nursing staff at a nursing home. I have two daughters, Adèle, 4 and a half, and Lola, 2 and a half. I was separated from the dad, who lives in another city. Just before the Covid crisis, we decided to give our couple a chance and refocus around the family, especially our youngest who is going through a difficult period. The move was scheduled for the end of March, I had to be away for 2 and a half weeks. During the winter holidays, my daughters went back to their father’s house, the school registration was done. 

Then the health crisis arrives, crisis management, the excitement in nursing homes, and confinement. 12-14 hour days.

As a healthcare professional, I refer to the benefit / risk balance. My daughters are with their father in a house, they are protected, their father takes care of them very well, I know they are safe. If I go there is a good chance I will infect them. 

I also know that I cannot leave in the midst of a crisis. You don’t abandon your team in the middle of a storm. Being a caregiver is an ethical, deontological job, we must show a certain morality with our peers. It is also in this kind of situation that the agents reveal themselves.

I decide to stay and wait to go see them. Result, it will be at least 7 weeks without seeing my daughters. Already 4 weeks today that I did not take them in my arms. The lack is enormous and difficult to manage. 

So I call every day, I do Visio, I send them letters with coloring, maps, with a personal message. They love. But Lola makes me the face, she does not want to talk to me, she regresses in terms of cleanliness. Adèle has a few small moments of spleen. But in general, they are in good shape, safe, and having fun in a house with a garden. Right now, it’s a luxury that not everyone has. The guilt is there, I assume it and I go with it. I didn’t make the best choice. I made the least worse choice. ” Is she

The testimony of Flora, nursing assistant in nursing home: “We are all in the same boat when it comes to health”

“My husband and I are both nursing assistants in nursing homes, in the same establishment. We are a blended family of 4 children: I have two children from a first union, my daughter Loan, 16 years old, my son Ewan, 14 years old, my husband has a son, Matéo, 14 years old, and together we had Milo, 6 years old. A daily busy already in normal times, but much more complicated today! In our nursing home, we switched to 12-hour days, to avoid too many trips back and forth in the establishment. We do either 7 a.m. to 19 p.m. or 9 a.m. to 21 p.m. We had to completely reorganize life around children. As we work together, we told our management that it was not possible to work at the same time, with 4 children at home. Even though my daughter is 16, there are a lot of things to deal with, and it’s not possible to leave them all alone, with home schooling, meals… So, we were listened to: we takes turns working, alternating days off. The official texts say that the children of caregivers are welcomed in schools, but that is on paper: in reality, the schedules do not correspond, and who takes and brings the children home? We gave up, and we get there just like that, taking turns with the children. But it’s a hell of a daily challenge! We two don’t see each other at all, we just cross paths. When I am resting, the first day, I rest and I think about myself! Afterwards, things get better, I take advantage of the children, I do activities with them. We are lucky to have a garden, so confinement is fine. We’re pretty positive, we even do things we never normally do. For the moment, there are no cases in our establishment. We are relieved. It means that the organization, the excessive barrier gestures, all that makes sense. Every day it’s a small victory to tell ourselves that we have no Covid patients. It is essential. Whereas we had a case in the staff, and a case in a child of the staff. Obviously, we think about it, we are afraid of bringing the virus home, of infecting our family. We are divided: when I’m off and I’m not going to nursing home for several days, I want to be in the field, to bring my stone to the building. But when we don’t go, we feel a little guilty, but we tell ourselves that somewhere our family is safer.

I hope that after this crisis something positive will come out. Caregivers at public hospitals and nursing homes have been warning about difficulties for years. And we can see it clearly, these are not empty words. We lack the means. We must be heard. After the crisis, people must continue to support us. Health is a precious commodity. And our working conditions determine the care of the sick. Anyone can be affected, we are all in the same boat when it comes to health. »Flora

Interview by Frédérique Payen