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Couple test: two ways to know if you have overcome a breakup
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The book “If you miss the beginning, start over” provides fun tools to get out of a breakup as gracefully as possible
That they leave us is never a dish of good taste. It may be that “your love will run out from using it so much”, that you have been left with a “broken heart” without having foreseen it, that you feel that all around you are all “dramas and comedies” or that you have inside a feeling of anger that makes you that it doesn’t hurt so much even though it’s all “over”, but we can’t lie to each other, a breakup it always does a little bit of damage, be it more or less dramatic.
To try to make this sometimes so complicated process a little more bearable and add a bit of humor to it, Marita Alonso, journalist and writer, publishes “If you miss the beginning, start over”, a book in which she invites us to travel with her through the five phases of a break-up – denial, anger, promiscuity, depression and acceptance – and to explore them through games, tests and playlists.
We leave you here two of the games in the book, so that you can take the first step and find out if you’ve really gotten over your ex or is it just something you say to yourself.
Test: What is the diagnosis?
If the dreaded breakup has just happened and you don’t really know how you are, this test is perfect to identify how you really feel.
The singer you listen to the most these days is …
A) LMFAO
B) Does listening to a Whastapp audio of my ex serve as an answer?
C) Ozuna
D) Lola Indigo (I only listen to Lola Bunny because not understanding what she says relaxes me)
You haven’t left home for days because …
A) I’d rather stay on the couch in case my ex comes home.
B) I can’t find the keys and the economy isn’t there to call the locksmith
C) I’ve been hooked on Satisfyer. Who said ex?
D) I have become a classic of breakups: I have cut my hair in front of the mirror and I feel like Britney Spears in 2007
What have you had the most in recent days?
A) Are tears considered a drink?
B) Cevvvvaz… Sorry: I meant beer
C) Who would have guessed that kale smoothies would suit me so well?
D) Right now I am 70% water, 30% “La Casa de Papel”: the series helps me to clear my mind.
Let’s talk about how hard it is for you to sleep
A) I try to make myself dream about the stories from Instagram of my contacts, but I always end up seeing one of my ex and it is impossible for me to sleep.
B) I have so many tranquilizers with me that I am surprised I did not have to change my underwear in the last ten minutes. Oops: now I come.
C) It costs me more to make ends meet than to sleep
D) The truth is that you do not cuesssZzZzZ
If I find a couple kissing on the street …
A) I cover my face with my hair so that no one sees my tears
B) The escupo.
C) I keep going like nothing
D) It would be worse to meet my 2015 self
Look in the mirror and tell me what you see:
A) The steam from the hot showers that I stick to crying does not let me see myself.
B) I don’t believe in spirits, but what I see is clearly a ghost.
C) Mirror, mirror, we have found the most beautiful being in the world.
D) I have dark circles, but nothing that anyone does not have on Monday at 8 in the morning.
Now let’s talk about personal hygiene …
A) I’ve showered so little that the water company called me to make sure I didn’t die.
B) I try to fix it together so that the office human resources team doesn’t catch my eye.
C) I smell so good it might seem like I live in Sephora’s perfume section.
D) I try not to neglect my physical appearance so as not to sink my self-esteem even more. Besides, a good shower never hurt anyone, right? I know, Jean-Paul Marat, yes.
MAJORITY OF «A»
Please call a friend and ask him to come over to your house to talk. Read, watch series, go for a walk and try to stay away from social networks for a few days.
MAJORITY OF «B»
I do not have to tell you that you are not at your best, but C. Tangana was not either not so recently and now many of us see it quite well. Bottom line: everything gets out of hand, so take a deep breath and move on.
MAJORITY OF «C»
You are so good that either you are doing this test for fun and not out of necessity, or you find yourself at that moment when you think this is temporary and that in a few days you will return to your partner.
MAJORITY OF «D»
You are on the right path. Remember the feeling of having an itchy padrón pepper: it stings for a while and everything returns to normal. This is how your breakup will be if you continue like this.
Ready, Set, Go!
This is the ultimate test. You have to make sure that you have finally accepted the breakup. And for that, the “fantastic seven” will help you. Mark all that are met in your case:
1. You talk about your ex normally, without crying or drama.
2. You don’t need to resort to name calling when talking about your ex.
3. You get excited about new plans and projects.
4. You are able to laugh at things that used to hurt you.
5. You don’t feel the need to constantly check their social media.
6. You are attracted to other people.
7. When you wake up you no longer feel a stab when you check that he is not by your side.
If you have marked at least one option, we can officially say that you are on the right track. You have realized that you are not going to return and the idea of continuing life with your ex-partner no longer plunges you into misery. !! Congratulations!!