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We are facing physical, not emotional isolation, so the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas advises against patching the pain and hiding the emotions that, with greater or lesser intensity, surface these days
La crisis caused by the coronavirus it has brought with it the confinement of the bulk of the population that, alone or in company, faces a hitherto unknown scenario. Many have found in the kitchen the place to unleash their imagination and make new recipes with which to surprise the palate; others instead have opted for sports, to maintain the line while this is solved serious health situation. And while video games and books come out of the drawers to be used, you also have to pay attention to our mind, which may be the most affected in this situation.
For Gema Sánchez Cuevas, psychologist and director of Mind is WonderfulIt is important to remember that we are facing “a physical isolation, not an emotional one.” For this reason, he discourages the idea of patching up the pain and hiding the emotions that, with greater or lesser intensity, surface these days. «Postponing pain implies postponing it and the more we do it, the greater the emotional burden that it entails and, of course, the more physical and psychological effects will be experienced, “he says.
Sadness is precisely one of the aspects addressed in Put heart to your brain, that uncomfortable companion whose presence is, however, necessary, as long as we don’t get carried away by it. “The important thing is to understand that, like other emotions, it has a message for us, it has something to tell us about how we are and what we need,” explains Sánchez Cuevas. Although it sounds strange, sadness is full of life, of strength and of purpose, because it warns us that there is something in us that we must work on and that requires our attention to resolve that emotional knot.
Although he remembers that the physical and emotional consequences of isolation depend, to a great extent, on each person and their particular circumstances, at a general level, he notes that they can be experienced from problems at bedtime, anxiety, apathy and stress to fear of becoming infected, losing a loved one or even an increase in conflicts and arguments if the confinement takes place in company.
«To handle the day-to-day life, you have to become mentally aware, become aware, and adopt a series of mental strategies. We must bear in mind that it is a situation that we have not experienced before and that no one has prepared us to face, so it can be common to experience a certain feeling of unreality, “says the psychologist. «Something that can help us is information search, always by reliable means and on time during the day, not constantly. Like establishing routines and remembering that isolation is a measure to reduce infections, flatten the curve and protect both ourselves and others.
Exercises to manage uncontrolled emotions
When we are immersed in a negative emotion we usually feed it with thoughts that make us feel even worse, so it should be ignored or worked on. As confirmed by Irina de la Flor, a professor at the School of Integrative Health and an expert in emotional management and conscious intelligence, there are some exercises that help, little by little, negative emotions have less force and that lament progressively have more peace , serenity and mental clarity.
«The first of the exercises is to do a emotional diary. In a notebook, and horizontally, divide the sheets into four columns to use it only to write down negative emotions, which are the ones we want to work on. Each day we will use a page for this emotional journal. In the first column we will write the circumstance in which that emotion has appeared (for example, I have spoken with my brother, I have seen the news, I have gone to make food, etc.); In the second column we must write the emotion we have felt (sadness, frustration, anger, etc.); in the third column we must write the thought, which are the phrases that our mind says, for example: ‘this is a desperate situation’, ‘I can’t take it anymore’, ‘this is not fair’, ‘I don’t think it’s good what that man has done’ etc.) and In the last column we must write the resolution », says the coach.
Apparently, to work the resolution you have to be aware that the mind works under four pillars that hurt us: judgment, rejection, attachment and identification. «In order to weaken that scheme that damages us, we have to do just the opposite in our mind. We must observe without judging, whatever our thoughts are, that they are the best that our mind can create at this time; without judging our emotions, which are the ones that come out of our hearts and our circumstances, which are what we have to live. Once we have not tried anyone or ourselves, the second part is to accept everything that happens inside and outside of us, thanking our environment, to our mind and to our heart.
In a last step, Irina de la Flor wants the non-identification to be applied. “Through five breathsWe will observe everything that is mutable outside of us, with the intention of reaching a point of internal serenity where peace, serenity, mental clarity and physical well-being reign. Meditation is a great help to do this exercise. The Integrative Health School offers this 21-day online course completely free of charge »
For her part, Gema Sánchez Cuevas, who is also the author of the work “Put heart in your brain” points out the importance of taking care of our relationships with others, both in coexistence and in distance. «Calling on the phone or making video calls to share moments is essential, as well as spend some time alone to reflect and dedicate it to something that we like and that makes us feel good, “he says.
All this without forgetting that what we do every day is what is important. “Perhaps this will help us learn to say more ‘I love you’ to those who matter to us and take them into account,” he adds. «I hope that this situation leads us to reflect and change both individually and socially. To give more value to what is important, to those around us and, of course, to the health system is more valued and have more support at all levels.