Stop Complaining
A surprisingly simple piece of advice, but for most people, complaining has already become a habit, so eradicating it is not so easy. Implement a “No Complaining” rule at least at work and use complaints as a catalyst for positive change. Boston’s Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center is a great example of implementing this rule. The management of the center was about to lay off a large number of employees, as the projected income was much lower than the projected costs. But CEO Paul Levy didn’t want to fire anyone, so he asked the hospital staff for their ideas and solutions to the problem. As a result, one employee expressed a desire to work one more day, and the nurse said that she was ready to give up vacation and sick leave.
Paul Levy admitted that he receives about a hundred messages an hour with ideas. This situation is a perfect example of how leaders bring their employees together and empower them to find solutions instead of complaining.
Find your own formula for success
We cannot control some events (C) in our lives, such as economic conditions, the labor market, the actions of other people. But we can control our own positive energy and our reactions (R) to things that happen, which in turn will determine the final result (R). Thus, the formula for success is simple: C + P = KP. If your reaction is negative, then the end result will also be negative.
It’s not easy. You will experience difficulties along the way as you try not to react to negative events. But instead of letting the world reshape you, you will begin to create your own world. And the formula can help you with this.
Be mindful of the external environment, but don’t let it influence you
This does not mean that you need to stick your head in the sand. You need to know what’s going on in the world in order to make smart decisions for your life or, if you’re a team leader, for your company. But as soon as you find out some facts, turn off the TV, close the newspaper or website. And forget about it.
There is a fine line between checking the news and diving into it. As soon as you feel your bowels begin to constrict while reading or watching the news, or you begin to breathe shallowly, stop this activity. Don’t let the outside world negatively influence you. You should feel when it is necessary to disengage from it.
Remove energy vampires from your life
You can even put up a “Strictly No Entry to Energy Vampires” sign in your workplace or office. For many people who suck out energy are often aware of their peculiarity. And they are not going to fix it somehow.
Gandhi said: And you don’t let it.
Most energy vampires are not malicious. They just got trapped in their own negative cycles. The good news is that a positive attitude is contagious. You can overcome energy vampires with your positive energy, which should be stronger than their negative energy. It should literally confuse them, but make sure you don’t give away your energy. And refuse to engage in negative conversations.
Share energy with friends and family
Surely you have a group of friends who sincerely support you. Tell them about your goals and ask for their support. Ask how you can support them in their goals and lives. In your circle of friends, there should be an exchange of positive energy that lifts all members of the company and gives them happiness and joy.
Think Like a Golfer
When people play golf, they don’t focus on the bad shots they had before. They are always focused on the real shot, which is what makes them addicted to playing golf. They play again and again, each time trying to get the ball into the hole. It’s the same with life.
Instead of thinking about all the things that go wrong every day, focus on achieving one success. Let it be an important conversation or meeting. Think positive. Keep a diary in which you state the success of the day, and then your brain will look for opportunities for new successes.
Accept the opportunity, not the challenge
Now it is very popular to accept challenges, which turns life into some kind of frenzied race. But try to look for opportunities in life, not its challenges. You should not try to do something faster or better than someone else. Even better than yourself. Look for opportunities that will make your life better and take advantage of them. You spend more energy and, often, nerves on challenges, while opportunities, on the contrary, inspire you and charge you with positive energy.
Focus on the important things
Look at things both up close and from a distance. Try to look at one problem at a time, then move on to another, and then to the big picture. To “zoom focus” you need to turn off the negative voices in your head, focus on business and start doing everything. Nothing matters more than the actions you take each day to grow. Every morning, ask yourself the question: “What are the most important things that will help me achieve success in the future, I need to do today?”
See your life as an inspirational story, not a horror movie
This is the mistake of most people who complain about their lives. They say that their life is a complete disaster, a failure, a horror. And most importantly, nothing changes in their life, it remains a quiet horror due to the fact that they themselves program it for this. See your life as a fascinating and inspiring story or story, see yourself as the main character who does important things every day and becomes better, smarter and wiser. Instead of playing the role of a victim, be a fighter and a winner.
Feed your “positive dog”
There is a parable about a spiritual seeker who went to a village to talk to a sage. He says to the sage, “I feel like there are two dogs inside of me. One is positive, loving, benevolent and enthusiastic, and then I feel a vicious, angry, jealous and negative dog, and they fight all the time. I don’t know who will win.” The sage thought for a moment and replied: “The dog that you feed the most will win.”
There are many ways to feed a good dog. You can listen to your favorite music, read books, meditate or pray, spend time with your loved ones. In general, do everything that feeds you with positive energy, not negative. You just need to make these activities a habit and integrate them into your daily life.
Start a week-long “No Complaining” marathon. The goal is to become aware of how negative your thoughts and actions can be, and eliminate pointless complaints and negative thoughts by replacing them with positive habits. Implement one point per day:
Day 1: Watch your thoughts and words. You will be amazed at how many negative thoughts there are in your head.
Day 2: Write a gratitude list. Write what you are grateful for this life, relatives and friends. When you find yourself wanting to complain, focus on what you are grateful for.
Day 3: Go for a gratitude walk. As you walk, think of all the things you are grateful for. And carry that feeling of gratitude with you throughout the day.
Day 4: Focus on the good things, on what is right in your life. Praise rather than criticize others. Focus on what you are currently doing, not what you need to be doing.
Day 5: Keep a success diary. Write down in it your achievements that you have achieved today.
Day 6: Make a list of things you would like to complain about. Determine which ones you can change and which ones you can’t control. For the former, determine solutions and a plan of action, and for the latter, try to let go.
Day 7: Breathe. Spend 10 minutes in silence, focusing on your breathing. Turn stress into positive energy. If during the day you feel stressed or want to start complaining, stop for 10 seconds and breathe.