It’s no secret that the couple requires a lot of work. It requires confidence, patience, compromise, and a whole host of life skills. But sometimes there is turbulence. Conjugation therapy sets in.

The people of the twentieth century did not invent the concept of the conjugal couple. In history in general, we realize that this notion is extremely old. The great myths, for example Adam and Eve, are myths of couple, Shiva and Parvati, Jupiter and Juno, moon and sun in tribes a little different from ours. The couple is a clinical entity in its own right, with its own dynamic, its codes, its habits. Forming a couple is to create a new intimate territory around this entity that is beyond us but at the same time, it is having to partially open our own individual intimate territory to the other and to the couple. It is one of the great challenges of life.

Before committing and being good in a relationship with another, you have to be good with yourself, know how to be alone and not depend on the other. It will then be easier, once in a relationship, to accept the other’s difference, their freedom to think… Living together means learning to negotiate constantly, to experience multiple and sometimes antagonistic feelings. The individual, according to his environment, his difficulties, his age group, his limits which are posed to him, changes. We are in perpetual motion. So difficult for the other in any relationship to navigate when the behavior, the reactions change. But, the first criterion of a couple’s success is communication, saying things that you feel rather than burying them and thus prevent the other from making their imagination work. It is also listening to the other, not to take him as a critic and accept that it is up to him to share his feelings with you and above all, to stop positioning yourself as a victim. Respect for the other is, of course, a golden rule for the success of the couple, it is the basis of healthy relations with, always, the recognition of their wrongs. But life as a couple is not a long calm river and the obstacles are numerous.

Conjugation therapy is a psychological disorder, close to depression, portentially severe, which is the consequence of unsatisfactory marital relations and which can lead to suicide. The couple arrived at a time when the two partners no longer recognize themselves. Each misinterprets the words and attitudes of the other and often perceives them negatively. Conflicts, when they are not expressed, always degenerate into latent resentment and ultimately lead to a breakdown in communication.

Whenever a painful event is not explained, it becomes like a third party between the partners. With the risk that it will spill out later, in another form, in a more or less violent way. Everyone then saw the slightest word from their partner, the slightest gesture, the slightest glance as an aggression. The dialogue breaks down, intimacy no longer exists. The phases of crisis multiply to become chronic. The couple is on the verge of separation, even divorce. Some abandon the ship but others stay in spite of an installed marital suffering. The couple is in crisis and all the reasons are there to approach a therapist, a neutral and informed eye. An approach that responds to the overwhelming desire to leave suffering.

At the consultation, the couple, a system in tearing, arrives with two individuals who have scores to settle. The logic of the gift has been erased in favor of that of revenge. The first urgency is that the couple get out of this vicious circle of reproaches or silence. Instead of focusing the gaze on the intimate of the couple, at this time, we agree on the contrary to widen the gaze and observe not only the interactions between the members of the two people who are there but also with their context. . Macroscope rather than microscope. Why do we need to expand? Because if you have a somewhat significant pathology, it is rare, even extremely rare, that conjugality is sufficient to produce this pathology.

It takes more than a relationship to have severe depression. It is also necessary to go to seek with the families of origin to widen the point of view, even also the professional affiliations. The therapist helps to renew communication, if this does not solve the couple’s problem, it is a necessary prerequisite. It creates a framework that allows everyone to have spaces and moments of their own. Dialogue also makes it possible to understand, when the failure is consummated, to identify the conflict, examine what went wrong so as not to experience the repetition of the same disappointments.

Being heard by each other, even more in what they feel than in the content of what they experience, helps partners to come together. Take a step back to understand, have the means to express dissatisfaction with the relationship and not with the other. The couple must regain their good health by going naturally from “I” to “we”: the partners are at the service of the couple when necessary; and sometimes the couple is in the background, to support individual projects. What is their common sphere, what is their priority, what do they want to share are the questions that the therapist can help the couple to ask themselves. The will to overcome their difficulties are decisive elements in the success of couples therapy.

Couple sculpture is a tool used when verbal communication is no longer enough, where words are emptied of their meaning. This psycho-bodily therapy is a new mode of expression, where each of the protagonists will stage the posture that symbolizes their relationship today and focus on their feelings. The objective is to release the physical tensions in order to resolve at the same time, the psychic blockages.