Conflicts at work: how to resolve them?

How to inform your manager about your disagreement

Yes, you risk losing his favor and gaining a reputation as a brawler. But the situation will not be resolved if you do not declare your position. How to do this as safely as possible for each of you and effectively for business?

• If you do not feel confident and emotions are overwhelming, do not rush to sort things out with the manager

Take time out for a day or two to calm down and prepare. Create the most comfortable, relaxed environment for yourself at home or in a cafe. Write down all questions and complaints. 

What exactly did you not like about this situation? Did you explain the purpose of the project? The manager made a decision without discussing it with you, but do you see the obvious risks of such a decision? Are you an important member of the team, and no one took your opinion into account? 

When all this is sorted out, some questions may disappear by themselves, and something will seem not so important as to aggravate relations. Then write down your options for solving the situation. This is very important: not just to complain, but to make constructive suggestions to the discussion.

• Try to look at the situation through the eyes of the leader and take into account his motives.

And then, most likely, it will be clear that you were not noticed not out of harm. That the leader, most likely, has his own agreements with his superiors. And he, in the same way, worries about the common cause — at the same time, he has much more responsibility. Most likely, after these steps, some of the questions will disappear by themselves, only the essence will remain.

• Come out to a conversation with the installation: «we are partners and do a common thing»

You are not indifferent to work and you are worried about what can interfere with the overall achievement of results. You are not complaining, but you want to contribute something constructive.

What to do if your comments do not receive a proper response? 

A bad peace is better than war. At a minimum, you have voiced your position, and the manager now knows about it. Focus not on your emotions, but on deeds. The unwillingness of the leader to explain and listen to his subordinates is not accidental? Have you realized that the boss’s directive style is categorically unacceptable? The choice to leave or stay is always yours.

How to say no to a colleague who often asks for help

Sometimes we have to do work for a colleague who has a sick child or time pressure. But reliability can play a trick on us, forcing us to work for ourselves “and that guy” more and more often. How do you say «no» to him?

• Look at the context

A new employee who is just getting used to the team needs to be supported, as well as a partner who has had a force majeure. If an experienced colleague asks for your participation, do not rush to do the work for him, but explain what he does not understand so that he can do it himself. 

Sometimes we do someone else’s work because we understand: now I help, and tomorrow they will help me out. If a colleague regularly shifts his responsibilities to you, and the role of a rescuer does not suit you, invite a colleague to discuss the workload with a manager. To distribute it evenly is his task.

Of course, you may be afraid to bring this issue up for discussion. But sitting late with someone else’s project, you will only accumulate fatigue and irritation, which will either result in a conflict over another reason, or turn into your burnout. The most important thing is not to get into conflict with yourself.

How to prevent yourself from being drawn into intrigues between colleagues

There are those in the team who like to gossip and set some team members against others. Or against the boss. Whether or not to participate in these games is your own choice. Such intrigues often hurt business. Participation in a dishonest game is a deal with one’s own conscience, a matter of personal decency of each.

“Do not do to others what you do not wish to yourself,” said Confucius. If you understand that because of the intrigue someone will suffer, why get involved in this?

• Track the moment when they try to drag you into a squabble …

The easiest thing you can do to stay on the sidelines is to appeal to your busyness. For example: “I have a meeting now for which I need to prepare a presentation. Sorry, there is no time to discuss this now. Say it once, then again, and the intriguer will fall behind.

• …and don’t worry about being an outcast

Are you worried that your colleagues will consider you the black sheep or the right hand of the leader? That they will treat you with suspicion and stop discussing all everyday affairs? Consider: this behavior speaks more about them than about you. Focus on your work. Invest your energy in something that builds, not destroys. 

Your expertise will give you the best reputation within the team. Study, find something interesting to do outside the office. And your passion will attract people who are closer in spirit.

Those who still cannot say “no” should turn to a psychologist to work out with him building their boundaries.