It is striking how distorted perceptions of each other are inherent in both sides of the conflict. They attribute to themselves as a virtue what the enemy considers a sin. Thus, the same actions (for example, patrolling submarines off a foreign coast, supplying weapons to small peoples) are perceived by the conflicting countries as more hostile if they were committed by a political adversary.
When talking about some recent conflict, only 12% of people thought the other side was willing to cooperate; 74% of the respondents mentioned their readiness for cooperation. According to managers, they «offer», «inform» and «recommend», while their interlocutors «demand», «reject all offers» and «refuse». The Dutch negotiators said the same thing about their conversations with government officials: they also believed that their negotiating tactics were “well thought out” and indicated their willingness to “listen” and “cooperate”; as for the second contracting party, they more often «resorted to threats», «bluffed» or «avoided discussion of the essence of the problem».
Therefore, this advice may be useful: when in conflict with someone, do not think that he is not able to share your moral values. Better compare your perception and his perception, and remember that, most likely, your opponent perceives the situation differently than you.